RV-DREAMERS :):):)

RV Blogs

2013-02-20T22:00:00.000-06:00

What with I.M. havin’ become infamous with the breaking of new ground with this here blog, I.M. has once again put on the old and well worn thinkin’ cap that were his Grandpap’s and has come up with something else in the RV blog world that there ain’t nobody a doin’.

It weren’t not all that long ago that I.M. took finger to key and started writin’ in a way that no onebody in the RV bloggerin’ world were a doin’. The underwhelming response has not only encouraged I.M. to keep at his work of elevating the level of RV bloggerin’ and the full time RV mobile, mobile home lifestye, it has also brung groans from some of them folks that read it fer the first time. Just like there is folks that always see the jug as half full, some folks can only see that it are half empty, and instead of pickin’ it up and havin’ some themownselves, they spends their time a complainin’ about the folks that were a drinkin’ it and all the fun they were a havin’ while doin’ just that.

And it always puzzles I.M. as to what them same folks is a gonna do when that jug gits empty. What are themfolks gonna do, them always seein’ what are wrong with things instead of what are right. Knowin’ that, I.M. are expectoratin’ there to be some of that a flyin’ thru the air when them folks see what he are about to unleash upon the RV bloggerosphere, which are the gonna be happenin’ fer the first time ever in the next week or so.

Most folks that write one of these here RV blogs ain’t no different from them folks a writin’ them non-RV blogs. They wants folks to be a reedin’ theysownselfs writin’ and would like to know what them folks a reedin’ it think of it. It are outside that line of thinkin’ that I.M. are gonna be wanderin’, and if’n y’all want to come along, yer more than welcome, but yer just gonna have to await till I.M. writes about it again to find out what it are that I.M. are a talkin’ bout.

Bloggin

2011-07-23T23:00:00.000-05:00

Remembers back a couple weeks ago when I.M. asked anyonebody who wanted, to submit a guest blog they themownselves would write but would be like I.M. had been the one to write it? Well here are one that I.M. receptioned, and it are good.

____________________________________________________________

I.M. has been sayin that I.M. overworked which ain't the same thing as bein worked over by Nilda after I ecksplained about how we dont need no dishwasher cuz I.M. has already marryd one. I.M. meanin to say that all this nawledge is working hard to get to I.M.s fingers and out onto the blogging world's eyeballs where it can get to overworking everone else.

There is a lot of questions that is asked of I.M., and I.M. gettin tired of knowing so much more than all y'all. I.M. tryin to eekwalize the nawledge by my writin and bloggin, but the gap is so huge I get desperate of ever fillin it in to yer satisfication. Fer example:

My lights flicker when we're on shore power, and I'm not sure if it's the inverter, or the LED lights, or whether we need to go back to CFLs.

I.M. can start rite off seein' that y'all has got too many letters in yer brain fer yer own good. Whether yer lights are led or cffl'd, you first got to get them into yer shopping cart, and stop inverting. Standing on yer head is not helping anythin here and is making you look foolish to the folks in the next field. Heres I.M.'s advice: if you are aneedin lights you are aneedin to go back to yer house. This is a mobile, mobile home lifestyle you are talking bout and not some fancy style of life. You need to get yer pryorities straight and come back and ask I.M. a sensible qwestion.

Now you can see why I.M. tired all the time and aneedin to rest inbetween bloggin. If Nilda were halfway as good as I.M. at this bloggin and sharing nawledge I wouldnt have to work hard the way I.M.

From yer buddy at http://thegoodluckduck.blogspot.com

Roxanne

A Mighty Tight Fit

2011-07-21T23:00:00.000-05:00

This are that intrepid western reporter of the RV-Dreamers :):):) journal, Cousin Mick comin’ at ya from the havin’ escaped the clutches of the marine species police of an unnamed but from now on to be avoided, western state. When I last left ya off, me and Ms. Mary had been told by them invasive species officers to get into my kayack, and Ms. Mary to get her ownselfs kayack.

Now whilst Ms. Mary ain’t the smallest kid on the block, a carryin’ some considerable heft to her ownself, I am a feller that definitely has more ton than ro to my rotund, and that were when the trouble started. I am not aware of what invasives them fellers were lookin’ fer, but once I had shoe horned my ownself into the kayack, they wasn’t ever gonna see nothin’ unless there was pounds of butter a slathered around myownself to allow me to squeeze otta that kayack, and that were when the trouble started.

There we was a floatin’ in them pristine waters and me a callin;’ fer pounds of butter to extraction myownself from that kayack when one of the invasive agents says it are against the law to pollution the water with butter grease. So there I are, stuck like a plug in bottle, old fat Mick the Kentucky Kayack Kollapser, a doin' my best to live up to what I were called. I am tellin’ ya that when yer as big a round as I is, there ain’t much wiggle room in a kayack, and in fact there ain’t none a tall. All I could do was to tell them fellers that there weren’t no way there was no more room fer any invasive species in that kayack, and do you know it, they believe me, even though I were about to sink.

I never did tell them I had an inflatable life preserver kayack that would float me no matter how much I ate, but then if’n they don’t ask, I am of the opinion that one shouldn’t tell, else there ain’t no tellin’ what they will be askin’ next. I am guessin’ that the moral of this story are that ifn’ ya cross a state line, just blow a lot of hot air, and maybe they won’t know that yer really as stupid as ya look. I heard it worked fer another feller, and it also worked fer me, and what more could a feller ask fer.

Cousin Mick has a Fit

2011-07-19T23:00:00.000-05:00

I.M. has been correspondin’ with cousin Mick on a irregularly regular basis as of late, a trying to get Mick to application his voluminous newspaper skills, no matters how little they was, to contributioning to this here blog. Finally Mick has consentuated to bein’ the rovin’ reporter and western correspondent to the foremost fulltime RV blog on the Innernet. What follers is Micks contribution to the elevation of the RV blogosphere, a place that obliviously has never afore been attained by any writer, good or bad.

This are I.M.’s cousins, Mick and Ms. Mary a reporting from out west where I.M. has designationed the two of us as the western reportin’ staff of the RV-Dreamers :):):) journal and investigative report, whatever that might be. And I am thinkin' that the title of these reports might better be called the Defraud Daily, but if'n it ain't gonna be, it ain't gonna be. I.M. has asked us to be reporterin’ on what kinds of daily happenin’s we has, so without further ado, which is makin’ Mick feel like that Ed Suillavan feller that used to be on TV, here are the rest of story, even if it are gotta be made up, only don’t ya bein’ tellin’ I.M. about that as I.M. has promised me and Ms. Mary complete freedoms in what we writes.

It were a sunny day, and me and Ms. Mary was a travelin’ down one of them western highways and byways when we comes up upon the state line. We’un’s didn’t think nothin’ of it till they pulls us over fer a boat check. Now me and Ms. Mary’s had lots of checks durin’ our travels, but this were somethin’ new. Seems they was a checkin’ fer unwanted hitch hikers, and we were selectioned fer the whole and completebody scan.

First thing I knows, I am told to get into the kayack I has in the RV. That were a problem cause I has gained a pound or twenty since I were last in it, but that didn’t matter to them inspection fellers who was lookin’ fer what they was callin’ invasive marine species, whatever the blue blazes that were. What happened next were somethin’ that should happen to no onebody, and I will be writin’ that up in my next post on the western RV-Dreamers :):):) journal and investigative report, so stay tuned.

There are Fulltimers, and Then There are Fulltimers

2011-07-18T23:00:00.000-05:00

“Hey and howdy do! We justs gots our camper. So what is it everyone tows behind their MH? Looking for a vehicle that can be towed, with high clearance but that gets good gas mileage. Any suggestions bout whats to git?”

That ain’t exactly the the words that was in a full timer forum that I.M do frequents, but it are close enough to give y’all the idea of just how smart the folks that are a wantin’ to join up with this here fulltime RV mobile, mobile home way of livin’ really is. If’n they were a handin’ out rewards fer IQ’s under the minimum requirement to become a fulltime RV mobile, mobile home type person, I.M thinkin’ most of them folks would be grand prize winners.

How’s come can it be that folks can consider livin’ the RV mobile, mobile home full time lifestye life, and have no more clue abouts it than the someonebody that posted a questionable question like that’s there one? Fer them that sees no problem with that there post, let I.M. dissection it fer y’all, a breakin’ it down into bite sized pieces that y’all can put right beside that I.Q. reward y’all just won.

Point one, fulltime folks don’t call the RV mobile, mobile they lives in a camper. That are what them folks that comes to the camperground just fer the weekend, sits outside no matter the weather, and has a fire roarin’ most of the time calls ‘em. You use the term camper to refer to yer fulltime living quarters and y’alls labeled yerownself fer exactly what y’all is, which are someonebody that don’t knows nothin’ about the full time livin’, and shouldn’t be a plannin’ on doin’ it lest y’all gits some serious educationing like me and Nilda did.

Point two, and we don’ts need no more, anyone somebody that can’t do a little research on this here Innernet thing, likely ain’t gots the mental capacity to absorb all there is to knows about full time livin’. It don’t take but a minute or two to come up with a list of possible vehicles that are like what that feller wants, yet they’s to lazy to do it themownselves. Once they becomes fulltimers, if’n they ever do, they don’t last long and afore y’all knows it they’s tellin’ everyonebody they meets that full time livin’ ain’t no good and I.M. sure hopin’ the reeders of this here blog don’t falls into that category.

I.M. Misplaced

2011-07-17T23:00:00.000-05:00

I.M. are genuinely sorryful to all the reeders of this here great blog fer I.M. being misplaced fer the past few days. Sometimes things takes a turn and a person don’t know just exactly where they was or is, and that were what happened to me and Nilda. Howsoever I.M. are back now and it are gonna be this blog where what weren’t but were gets explained to them that was but weren’t. Meanin' that them a tryin’ to reed what I.M. hadn’t wrote but weren’t a findin’ it because it weren’t wrote, now gots something to reed.

What it were that happened were that me and Nilda were a travelin’ and ended up in this here old town, which were mostly like any other old town me and Nilda, or y’all reeders fer that matter, has ever ended up in. I.M. do declare that all them old towns does look just like all them other old towns, so what happened were that I.M. gots mixed up as to which old town I. M. were in, or maybe it were which state that old town were in. On accounts of that mix up, me and Nilda gots into one of the few mixups that has ever occurrenced in me and Nilda’s time together, with Nilda bein’ certain me and Nilda were lost. One the otherside of the dollar bill, I.M. were certain that there weren’t no lost to it, it were just a case of the old town I.M. thought me and Nilda was in had gots misplaced.

Nilda were a saying it weren’t the old town that were the problem, it were the state the old town were in. I.M. were a thinking the town were in a state it were in, but weren’t, cause it were in another state altogethers. Lost are definitioned as “no longer known”, while misplaced are definitioned as “ to put in a wrong or inappropriate place”, which were what I.M. had done, as in putting’ that old town in the wrong state. Once we gots it all figured out, and we gots to where it here that we were supposed to be, it were okay. I.M. are sure sorry fer getting’ lost that there way and not bein' able to write, and hopes there ain’t no someonebody else out there in the RV, mobile, mobile home fulltime life that are as dumb as I.M. and don't know what state they's in. Just so’s y’all knows it, I.M. will be writin’ regular like now that the misplaced are placed. Like they says: “Dumb is as dumb does.”

Who Could That Be?

2011-07-08T23:00:00.000-05:00

I.M. figures long time reeders probably has gots it figured out, but anyonebody who are a newlie reeder can be confusioned at times what with the spewin’ of ideas from I.M.’s mind at the rate they is. There was the Hatey Weighty and Hatey Weighty Jr. programs which was soon followed by I.M.’s modest proposal to have his reeders submit a guest blog.

Them ideas are a poppin’ out of I.M.’s brain faster than them popcorn colonels of that Oddball Poppinpooper feller, exceptin’ that I.M. don’t wear no bow ties when them ideas is a poppin’. This idea thing must be runnin’ in I.M.’s family cause cousin Mick has gots a couple of hisownselfs ideas that he are a proposin’ to contribute to the RV-Dreamers :):):) blog. With Mick a travelin’ out west, and his innernet connections leavin’ somethin’ to be desired, it may be a while, but they will be a gittin’ here.

Y’all knows that I.M. don’t never beats around the brush pile, but always gits right to the point, which are probably why all y’all reeders is so excited about this latest idea of I.M.’s, even though it are far beyond what anyonebody else a writin’ a RV mobile, mobile home blog are doin’. What I.M. are thinkin’ of doin’ are to take hisownselfs turn as a guest blogger on this here blog.

I.M. thinkin’ that y’all are thinkin’, how can I.M. be a guest on his ownselfs blog? But that are why I.M. are the king of RV mobile, mobile home and fulltimin’ bloggin’ world. I.M. are thinkin’ of writin’ his blog, but a doin’ it as if it were writed by one of I.M.’s reeders or the writer of one of them many blogs I.M. reeds. That are where the title to this here blog comes from, I.M. are thinkin’ maybe someonebody will recognize who it are that I.M. are pretendin’ to be, "Who Could That Be?".

Don’t expect that first “guess blog” to come poppin’ out in a few days, but when the first one does appears, I.M. thinkin’ y’all will knows it. Remembers, I.M. are improvin’ the RV and fulltime bloggin’ world one post at a time.

A Modest Proposal

2011-07-06T23:00:00.001-05:00

I.M. are sure many of y’all reeders of this here blog is actually far better at this blogger thing than I.M. are. Anyonebody that thinks otherwise has only to spend some time reedin’ them comments I.M’s reeders post to know it are true. I.M. are a beginnin’ to think that some of them reeders is more like I.M. than I.M. like I.M.

Because of that abilty to see around the bend on the part of I.M., I.M. are makin’ a modest proposal. It are the RV-Dreamers :):):) guest blogger first annual invitational and extravaganza. Now I.M. figurin’ that the sheer overwhelmin’ writin’ ability of I.M. will no doubts scare off anyonebody from submitttin’ an entry, but in case anyonebody would like to, here are what I.M. thinkin’.

Y’all write a post like it were writed by I.M., and I.M. will post it on the blog. That are the simple of it, simple bein’ one of I.M.’s hallmarks. I.M can still remembers them words of praise that first schoolmarm I.M. ever had. Them words, “Children, I wish the rest of you were as simple as Ishbosheth Mephibosheth Vayne” are still a wringin’ in I.M. ears. Of course that were afore Ishbosheth Mephibosheth were a shortened down to I.M. but it still don’t matter none cause it sure made a impression on I.M.

Anyways, back to yer guest blog, I.M. thinkin’ that if’n y’all write it, y’all could email it to I.M. Y’all can get I.M.’s email by clickin’ on the Tip In box, then just copy yer writin’ and send it. I.M. will not do no editin’ even though it will probably needs it, and if’n you don’t want no credit fer that gibberish y’all submitted, I.M. will not post y’all as the author.

I.M. knows this are pushin’ the boundary’s of the RV mobile, mobile home bloggin’ world, but since there ain’t no onebody else a doin’ it, I.M. has gots the field all to hisownself. In the likely event there are no guest blogs submitted, I.M. will just continue writin’ his usual high quality blogs just like they usually is.

Mick’s Idea Explained

2011-07-05T23:00:00.000-05:00

I.M. knowin’ that y’all was a wonderin’ when the next installment of Mick’s idea was gonna come along, and here it are. What followers is the solution to that problem Mick had as to the expense of getting’ into all them attractions, museums and interestin’ places that charged admission, but Mick didn’t want to have to pay.

Mick said the idea come from rememberin’ the days when he were in the newspaper business, but recollectin’ how that turned out fer Mick, I.M. are mitey skeptical there were ever a good idea come out of it. But if Mick says it were so, then it must have been so as Mick will tell y’all he ain’t never wrong.

Accordin’ to Mick, if a feller were to have a RV mobile, mobile home type blog, and promote it as being the source of news of the RV mobile, moble home world, I feller could use it as a way to get into all these here places with payin’ nothin’. Now when Mick was first a layin’ this idea out, I.M. tellin’ y’all I.M. were mitey skeptical abouts the veracity of all this. (Nilda are a helpin’ with I.M. with his vocabularity and are beginin’ to show, aren’t it not.)

Getting’ back to Mick, Mick swears he gots the idea when he were a standin’ in line to one of them museums, and this near spittin’ image of Mick comes in, a goin’ to the head of the line and starts spoutin’ off. Near as Mick can recalls, this fellar were a goin’ on abouts how he writes some kind of mobile, mobile home blog or newspaper, Mick weren’t not sure which, and that they better give him free admission so he could write something nice about them and all his readers would want to visit there and pay for their admission even though this feller were getting’ in fer free.

Seems them folks at the museum didn’t agree with that feller, and told him he could pay just like all the regular folks does. Mick said that feller left in a huff, a mutterin’ how he were gonna write bad things about that place, somethin’ that Mick didn’t think were right. Mick has promised to tell what he are a doin’ with this idea the next time he writes, which I.M. are a hopin’ will be right quick, as I.M. wantin’ to know as bad as y’all is.

RV FAQ’s Answered

2011-07-04T23:00:00.000-05:00

This are a special service that I.M. provides to the reeders of this here blog so they can be the best educationed and illiterate full time RVers on the road. Sometimes these is the big question and sometimes they’s the little question, but whatsoever they is, they all gits answered here.

Where can I buy an RV?

I.M. has hesitationed to answer this one fer a long time. Mostly because it are so common on them forums as well as folks blogs, them folks explanationing how they decided to buy the piece of junk they’s got that they never should of bought in the first place. I.M. can only shakes his head in wonder at that cause the answer are so simple any wantstobe can tell y’all. Yer gonna buy an RV yer gonna have to find someonebody a sellin’ an RV. How simple can that be? I.M. don’t understands why folks make it so hard. Once that are done, then the hard part begins, which are buyin’ the right RV. But since that weren’t asked, it ain’t necessary to answer it

.My RV has a strange plug on the electric cord, where do I plug it in?

The level of intelligence of the typical RVer never fails to amaze I.M.. Most folks when they gets somethin’ new, like a mixin’ wand or a toaster, spends hours pourin’ over the manual, a checkin’ all the safety sheets and that big sheet that says “afore doin’ anything read this”, then they reads the manual line by line. When folks gits a RV, readin’ the manual are the furthest thing from their mind, and they is only thinkin’ about getting’ out to the woods and a goin’ camperin’. If’n yer the second owner, it at most likely the first owner throwed the manual away so y’all is on yer own. That are why I.M. can’t answer it by sayin’ read the owners manual. I.M. will say that generally speakin’ that cord is supposed to be plugged into a outlet that looks like it, if that are any help to you. I.M. guessin’ some questions is just over the head of the person askin’ the question. :)

Hatey Weighty Jr. Explained

2011-07-01T23:00:00.000-05:00

Now there’s a lot behind this here Hatey Weighty Jr. program, but that ain’t what are being concentrationed on today. It are the behinds of the folks that are a reedin’ this, that are the real focus of the Hatey Weighty program. Howsoever, whether it are yer behind parts, yer ahead parts, or yer just too big all over, it are likely to be of help.

There ain’t gonna be no special foods y’all gots to buy, no countin’ to do, no books to buy, and no meetin’s to go to. This program are designed to separates you, not from yer money, but rather from that big bunch of blubber y’all wants to get rid off. Nilda were a tellin’ I.M. that them thats picked up a few extra pounds along the way don’t want to be called blubber butts, so I.M. won’t. But that don’t mean that other folks a lookin’ at them don’t think that.

The philosophy behind Hatey Weighty Jr. are simple. Throughout the full time RV mobile, mobile home world there is folks that’s wants to separate y’all from yer money so they can live the life y’all are tryin’ to live. That are the heart of the Hatey Weighty Jr. program, only from another direction. Instead of them other folks a tryin’ all manners of inducements to separate y’all from yer money, y’all gots to think along the same lines, which are how y’all could separate them extra pounds y’all is a carryin’ from yerownself.

Think about it. It are yer plan, y’all thunked it up, y’all is implementioning it, y’all gets the benefits. I.M. are thinkin’ a good motto would be: Cut the middleman, cut the fat. I.M. first come up with: Banish the baloney, banish the blubber. Howsoever as Nilda pointedly pointed out, I.M.'s first motto weren’t gonna be doin’ what I.M. wanted it to be a doin’, and now the motto are better. Obviously there is a little more to the program than I.M. got to today, which will be uncovered in the next installment.

Mick has an Idea

2011-06-29T23:00:00.001-05:00

Recently I.M. gots an email from cousin Mick who are a roamin’ around the western parts of the country, which are the opposite side of the country from where most all I.M.’s cousins is from. Mick are always on the lookout fer a way to stretch the dollar a mite bit more than most, and in that email Mick reported he come up with a new idea that I.M. might like to share with those that reed this here blog.

Now there’s some folks that likes to travel down the roads of the country, and when they find a nice cozy place to set for a mite, they does just that. Most of their days is took up with gabbin’ with the neighbors, piggin’ out at the local deep fat fry and quick serve, or if’n yer Canadian, sittin’ out in the sun to get the proper tan so as to not look likes y’all was covered with snow all year. While Mick are especially good at hittin’ the local deep fry and quick serve, he has also gots this thing fer visitin’ all the local tourist type attractions.

Now if’n any of you reeders are into such pursuits, y’all knows that the doin’ of such things can allow y’all to discover some of the more unique places of this here earth. Places like the Two Headed Calf Museum in Covington, the Salt and Pepper Shaker Museum in Gatlinburg, the Ventriloquist Museum in Fort Mitchell, the Chimpanzee and Human Communication Institute in Ellensburg, or the SPAM^® Museum in Austin.

I.M. are thinkin’ that someonebody reedin’ this are been to one or the other of them national treasures and so knows what Mick means when he says, there’s things just so outstandin’ that folks comes from all around the world just to see them. The problem fer Mick were that the admissions to them places mounts up right quick, and were puttin’ a dent in his travel plans. Unfortunately, us’uns are all gonna have to wait till I.M. gets Micks next email to learn just how Mick solved that problem, which hopefully won’t be long in coming.

I.M. wants to thanks the reeders of this here blog fer their comments. I.M. don't comment back on comments like some folks do, but that don't mean I.M. don't reed them and get a good laugh or even an idea or two from them. Y'all have fun this upcomin' weekend, and if'n I.M. don't post on a day or two, it are cause me and Nilda are havin' fun too.

The Hatey Weighty Jr. Program

2011-06-28T23:00:00.000-05:00

It has occurrenced to I.M. that based on all the comments I.M. we receptioning about the Hatey Weighty program that there is a real need fer another Hatey Weighty, lighten the load, program. One that are more atuned to the needs of the RV mobile, mobile home full time time population that don’t have nothin’s to do with RV’s or income.

Seems like the folks that take up this here full time RV mobile, mobile home life has soon gots a problem relationed to intake, not income. That are, they’s intakin’ more food than they was afore, and the out go are fallin’ behind. Or puttin’ it another way, to much of the intake is gittin’ packed onto the behind.

I.M. ain’t called the most illegible of folks bloggin’ about this here way of livin’ fer nothin’, so I.M. are puttin’ finger to key to offer solutions to folks afllictioned with this malady, it seeming to strike more ladies than men. Now Nilda has just interruptioned I.M. to point out that there’s probably more men that’s got this problem, it are just that so many of them look that way they all thinks that look are normal. I.M. bein’ tall and thin don’t gots that problem, but maybe I.M. are gonna have to do so observationing in the future.

When I.M. pointed out that it ain’t called the Jeremiah Craig weight loss plan, Nilda just rolled her eyes and said, Men. I.M. are not sure what Nilda were a meanin’, and with her havin’ that special look in herownselfs eye when she were a sayin’ it, I.M. weren’t about to ask. Anyonebody who reeds I.M. knows I.M. ain’t out to offends no onebody, so even if it might be needed by a couple of fellers or so, it are probably needed by more of them female type folks, and that’s what I.M. will be addressin’ the next time.

A Modest Proposal for a Weighty Problem

2011-06-27T23:00:00.000-05:00

The solution to that income problem could be many different things, all short of out right beggin’ which are somethin’ that runs contrarywise to the way I.M. were brought up. Also there is just something about birdhousin’, beadin’ and bloggin’ as a way to make a livin’ that don’t square with bein’ raised up on the Gulch. I.M. didn’t have much in the way of educations, but I.M. used what little I.M. got to make somethin’ of hisownself. It are them folks that’s gots lots of education but don’t use it to make somethin’ of themownselves that has I.M.’ s head a shakin’. If they wasn’t smart enuff to get the right education in the first place, what makes a body think they is gonna be very smart at what they’s doin’ in the second place. Sheesh.

Takin’ all that into considerations, it would seem to I.M. that by usin’ the Hatey weighty program as a start, a feller ought to be able to find a way to generates hisownself a income stream that would have some velocities to it. I.M. thinkin’ it are called ancillary, but I.M. could be wrong. The thing to do are to take the Hatey Weighty program, which are the idea of takin’ things out to lighten the load, and combine it with the weighin’ and tire pressurin’.

But that ain’t what it are really about, the key is to gets them folks that pays you to do that to come to that other money makin’ operation y’all gots. Maybe sellin’ beads or birdhouses fer example. Or how abouts a custom sign shop or jewelry makin’. And then there’s silk flower makin’ or embroidered hats.

If a feller or gal was really enterprisin’ they could have themownself a website with lots of advertisin’ that other folks could visit. The key are the possibilities is endless once y’all starts with the Hatey weighty program. It are all abouts drawin’ folks into yer other real money makin’ businesses, not the Hatey Weighty program itself. I.M. are such a gentleman I.M. don’t want to make no money hisownself off this revolutionary concept, so all y’all use it howsoever y’all will.

Opportunities with the Hatey Weighty Program

2011-06-26T23:00:00.000-05:00

Y’all knows from I.M.’s previous writin’s that me and Nilda worked hard, saved our money and are now a livin’ the RV mobile, mobile life livin’ on what we saved and that monthly check from Uncle Sam. That don’t mean that everyonebody was as smart as me and Nilda, and so maybe they’s runnin’ a little light in the money department and lookin’ fer a way to add some extra income.

The Hatey Weighty program bein’ free and all, anyonebody can use it howsoever they wants. I.M. are thinkin’ that if’n someonebody could combine the weighin’ of RV’s with the Hatey Weighty program, and maybe even combine it with somethin’ they was already a doin’, it would be a way of generatin’ an extra bit of income.

Combinin’ all that together it wouldn’t take someonebody long to be the expert in these weighty matters, especially if they could tie them all together. Them axles, wheels and hitches is something it looks like a feller could do a little studyin’ up on and in no time appear to be a real expert at. As Grandpap always said, it ain’t what y’all know, it’s what folks think y’all know.

To give an example of what I.M. are a thinkin’ on this, suppose I.M. wasn’t havin’ to fix Ol’ 5th Wheel all the time, and also that he hadn’t been smart enough to find enuff money when he were a workin’ to be able to let I.M. and Nilda live the life of bliss me and Nilda does now. That would mean I.M. would have to come up with an extra income stream as them sharp city feller folks say.

I.M. knows there is lots of ways of supplementing yer income, thanks to all them blogs I.M. reeds, but what makes I.M. stands out from the masses are the unique perspectives I.M. brings to the RV mobile, mobile home world. So in the next post in this exciting series, I.M. will be proposin’ a new twist to the solution to the money problem.

How the They Hatey Weighty Program Works

2011-06-25T23:00:00.002-05:00

Weight reduction, are it possible, and if so are it enuff? Them two things is what the Hatey Weighty program are all abouts. The three parts is, taken it off, taken off enuff, and keepin’ it off. Some folks approach it as a long term project taken off a little at a time just like the weight come on. Others think that major surgery, are the best approach. But the best thing about the Hatey Weighty program are that no matter what approach are used the results are the same.

The first thing to do are to find out just what yer weight are supposed to be, the next step are getting’ rid of the excess, and then keepin’ it off. The place to get what the weight are now is probably gonna be based on where y’all is when y’all decides to get weighed. It may be a truck stop or a lumber yard fer example, or if yer at one of the rally’s, then there’s often times the safety foundation folks that has scales and can weigh all yer wheels independent like.

What ever place you have it done, and the wheel by wheel are the best, y’all needs to check yer weight tag and see just how much of a bulge around the middle, that RV of yer’s has gots. All this mind you, is previous to the actual implementation of the Hatey Weighty program, it being outside the scope of the HW program to assistance you on the weighin’.

So here we is at the point of implementationing the foremost RV weight loss program possibly yet devised. If’n ya just got yer front and rear axles weighed, you need to gits yer scale out and and take out enuff over which ever axle are overweight to get down to the proper weight. If it are wheel weights y’all gots, then take out things from over whichever wheel to lighten the load. Then get it weighed again soon to make sure yer weighin’ what ya should be. There’s also the right tire pressure as well which are outside the confines of the Hatey Weighty program. Hatey Weighty being informative in nature rather than technical.

I.M. figurin’ that y’all are wonderin’ just how I.M. could be smart enuff to figure all this out, but really it weren’t nothin’.

Understanding the Hatey Weighty Weight Lose Program

2011-06-24T23:00:00.000-05:00

Now that I.M. has writtened about how it were the idea fer the Hatey Weighty program come to be, it are time to explanation exactly what the Hatey Weighty program are. I.M. are also mighty sorrowful that the postin’s has been on the skimpy side of lately, but the refining of the Hatey Weighty program has been more time consumptioning than usual, plus Ol’ 5th wheel has been acting up or breakin’ down again, take yer pick of how to description it.

Remember them good old days when things weren’t packed in as tight as they is now? When things was a little looser in some areas? That were when folks was a complimentin’ yer look and the smiles they was a givin’ y’all was proof. So what happened? Middle age caught up with that’s what, soon followered by old age, or as some likes to reference it, the mature years. :)

Fer some it means that tire size has greatly increased and fer others the old spring has been sprung. You can tell from the way yer now bottoming out that things is certainly not the way they used to be fer sure. And that dear reeders are what the Hatey Weighty program are all about, discoverin’ where all them extra pounds has come from and how to take them off.

Originally when the idea fer the Hatey Weighty program first come to I.M., I.M. were havin’ more than a might bit of troubles comin’ up with a name. There’s the Weight Watchers^tm and Jenny Craig^tm fer example and it were while thinkin’ on them that the first name fer this outstanding program come to mind. Tryin' to combine all that into the best of all descriptions, it seemed natural to call it the I.M. Vayne Weight Loss Program fer the Over Weight.

Now Nilda are the nicest, most considerate person in the whole world, but I.M. are afraids that when Nilda heard that, she were not very nice and most inconsiderate to I.M. as fer as her comments regarding what the program were to be called. So now y’all know more about it and how it gots to be named, next time I.M. will explanation how it are supposed to work.

Newlies, The RV Series 007, Part II

2011-06-23T23:00:00.000-05:00

So exactly what are it that makes the way the newlie looks at the fulltime Rv mobile, mobile home way of livin’ like a candy store or a nightmare.?

The major factor in all this is if’n there are a former ifnheel or ifnsheel along, the reason being that glass half empty or less than full thing. The ifnheel or ifnsheel usually weren’t none to happy about this in the first place, so any little thing that can go wrong, does. Now y’all might get lucky and have that one in a hundred that actually takes to likin’ this way of livin’ but the odds are yer gonna be most miserable fer as long as yer a doin’ this.

Opposite this are the, “there ain’t nothin’ that can go wrong, life are a peach and you are the cream”, type of newlie or newlies. These are them fer which the glass are half full and what they been drinkin’ are the best drink they done ever tasted. Sure they had a flat tire the first day out, but look at the nice people they met at the tire shop and then again at the bank when they took out that loan to get the side of the trailer replaced what the tire ripped off when it come apart.

Course them bein’ newlies and all, they ain’t realized that it were cause that trailer were so overloaded due to all of mama’s sewin’, craft and hobby stuff, as well as the old man a haulin’ along every tool he got and then some new ones he figured he might need, and that are leavin’ out the fact they has got enough clothes packed to keep half the people in three states in clothing fer a couple of years, come global warming, or global freezing.

Still it don’t matter, cause they is a doin’ it, it bein’ livin’ the full time RV mobile, mobile home lifestye. Now I.M. understandin’ this probably don’t give you as much informations about newlies as you were a wantin’ but like I.M. were a sayin’ afore, these early posts in this series is just meant to be the broad brush stokes on the canvas of this here life me and Nilda is a livin’.

More FAQ’s

2011-06-19T23:00:00.000-05:00

There are a never endin’ stream of questions that RV mobile, mobile home folks have. Since I.M. are the source fer answers to the question that ain’t even been thought of yet, it are easy for I.M. to answer the ones that most folks actually got.

We are looking for the best nesting cookware available. What do you recommend?

I.M. thinkin’ that some folks take the most unusual pets along with them when they take up this fulltime way of livin’, like them toad folks from a week ago. Now in this case I ain’t recommending y’all talk to the animal head lady as I can answer this one myownself. If it are a parakeet or canary then a one quart pan are plenty big enuff. If it are bigger like a parrot or Macaw you will need a large stock pot. If it are a ostrich y’all shouldn’t even think of fulltime RV’ing. PS, with them first two types, them pots work real good to also cook them there poultry should you decide they is a real pain to keep as pets.

I have a built in dishwasher at my stix and brix. What do you recommend when I go fulltiming?

Them jokers that sits around the camperfires would say to use the same one y’all had at home, only I.M. are too smart to fall fer that. If’n yer a single RV person, has a big enuff RV, and stays in Campergrounds with full hookups, why not have one one installed. It are yerownselfs life yer livin’ so why not make it easy if’n y’all can. Fer them that are travelin’ with a partner person, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with doin’ like Nilda does. She says that if’n she are to do the cookin’ and the cleanin’, then I.M. are the one doin’ the drying and the puttin’ away. I.M. rememberin’ how, when Nilda first explained that to me, she were a holdin’ a big old skillet in her hand, so there weren’t no hesitation to agreein’ with her. Sometimes it ain’t always exactly what y’all says, it is how it are said that matters, somethin’ that Nilda are right good at.

Thoughts on Increasing RV Blog Readership

2011-06-18T23:00:00.000-05:00

Backin’ up a second here, it also matters whether y'all is writin’ to make money off’n that blog; or if’n yer a tryin’ to provide informations to yer friends and relatives; or iff'n yer just a writin’ fer the fun of writin’. Now some folks will say it becomes “work” when yer a trying to make money off yer writin’, but I.M. tellin’ ya that if’n yer good at writin’ it sure ain’t work, it are fun. It’s just that sometimes it are less fun than othes. But if y’all really do have the inability to write real good, then folks is gonna get to laughin’ at you, and not at yer blog, which aren’t not what yer a wantin’ at all. Now not everybodies got natural talent like I.M. has gots, but fer them that does, the words just come a pourin’ out onto the screen.

I.M. thinkin’ that by now ya knows whether y’all got the talent or not, cause if’n yer wife, husband or partner is a yawnin’ and a noddin’ off when they’s reedin’ yer output, perhaps yer not needin’ any more input from them cause they’s already give it to you. But if y’all don’t got I.M.'s talent, y'all can be sure that there are someone out there that are more than willin’ to take yer money so they can make some money. It are like that drawin’ advertizement in the magazine that my cousin Buster answered.

Old Buster couldn’t draw a stick figure when he were in first grade and his ability in that arena got worse the older he got. Still he had this dream of bein’ the next Rembrandt painter feller even though his high school guidance counselor done told him that he should put his talents towards bein’ the next house painter instead. Well he sent that drawin’ advertizement test in, and they told him he had art talent, lots of art talent, and a bunch of money later they was still a tellin’ him he had talent, they just weren’t a lettin’ him know where that talent should be used, so he just kept a paintin’ pictures that nobody wanted.

Buster ended up usin’ those there paintings to patch holes in his roof, them canvases being at least good fer that, what with Buster usin’ oil paints and all. I.M. can only tell it like it are, and now maybe you folks a writin’ withouts the talent I.M. has gots can understands why some blogs are good and others, like this one, are so grate.

Newlies, The RV Series 007

2011-06-16T23:00:00.000-05:00

I.M. thinkin’ the last post in this series might have given some folks a fright, it bein’ so blunt and all, but that are all part of the weedin’ out process on the rode to becomin’ a full time, fulltime RV mobile, mobile home life livin’ type of person. We are now on that rode to the place we are takin’ a look see at the newest of the new, the greenest of the green, the newlie.

Now I.M. ain’t know dummy and he knows that most folks reference these folks as newbies, but as yer a knowin’ by now, the path them folks take ain’t the trail bein’ blazed by the true trail blazer of the RV bloggerin’ world. With that out of the way, let us take a gander at just what a newlie are ain’t not. They, though they may be one or several, are not dreamin’ about livin’ the full time RV mobile, mobile life, nor are they themownselves living in a house with someonebody who are a ifnheel or ifnsheel. On the other hand, they is past the wantsta satage but afore the Imas and the Ustas, all of which means they is none other than newlies. See how easy that were to describe them not.

So havin’ declared what they is not, just what is they? The answer to that are so so simple, that if you don’t know it, yer not interested in the full time RV mobile, mobile home lifestye. Knowin’ that, we will not be dwellin’ on what yer already a knowin’ but will be movin’ on to a much more deeper in depth discussion of the newlie and their ways. Fer some folks bein’ a newlie are like a kid that just wandered into the biggest and bestest candystore they did ever see. Fer others it makes their most frightful night mare seem all cuddly cozy like young foal in comparison. Unfortunately yer a gonna have to wait until next week to hear the rest of the story, as that feller were always a sayin'. Well he were a sayin' after the commericial, but we ain't got none of them there things here, so it are gonna be next week.

Increasing RV Blog Readership

2011-06-15T23:00:00.000-05:00

It has now come time fer I.M. to be givin' ya’ll some more help regardin' yer RV blog as I.M. has done on occasion over these here past few months. There is many ways to provide this advice on the subject of RV blogging, but knownin’ that most all y’all reeders is as sharp as I.M., meanin' that all y’all also has the ability to uncomprehend the comprehendable, here are some detailed RV blog writin’ advices.

A common question now that yer a writin’ such a good blog are, how can I gits more folks to be a reedin’ it? Since I.M. is the undisputed master voice of the RV boggersphere, the first thing ya needs to do is to be willin’ to experimentation a bit. Fer example, supposin’ y’all meets up with yer good friends Billy Ray, Bonnie Kay, Raylene Ruth, Ricky Rufus, Henrietta Earlene and Howard Elrod, with the plan bein’ that all eight of y’all are a gonna go out fer something to fill yer bellies and wet yer whistles. The question we’s got asks of ourownselves is just how do we write about that there table clearin’ experience where y’all drunk and ate everything y’all could gits yer mouths on.

Now if’n yer interested in the masses a reedin’ yer blog yer, but what y’all do are to go on and on a listin’ them names to the point that every other word are Ricky said or Billy said, Raylene ate or Earlene ate, Bonnie drunk or Howard drunk, that sure ain’t no good writin’. That are cause them folks are about as interestin’ to the most of yer reeders as are a dead skunk a layin’ on the road. In fact, the only folks that are gonna be interested in what y’all wrote are them folks yer a writin’ about and chances are even them folks will stop readin’ as soon as you stop mentionin’ their own names, it are so boring to read. I.M. knows it are hard fer some folks to be a hearin’ this, but you don’t git to be I.M. by avoiding the oblivious like this.

Yet Even More FAQ's

2011-06-12T23:00:00.000-05:00

Continuing the RV-Dreamers:):):) tradition, here is another set of FAQ's.

Being a solo RV’er, I find it difficult to back into a site by myself. Short of asking another camper to help, what suggestions do you have?

It are very simple, always get a pull thru site. Of course that only works if y’all don’t have no trouble drivin’ forward, which considerin’ yer problem with goin’ backards it are highly likely goin' forward are also a problem. Sorry to be bringin’ ya the bad news, but this RV thing ain’t fer everybody even if there are some folks that make their money tellin’ y’all that you can do it, no matter how stupid y'all is.

Are there any helpful hints you can give your readers about cooking on the road?

I.M. would not recommendation that you do it. It are a lot harder than you think it might be, even though it are right handy and economical, especially if’n yer in Arizona or someplace hot like that. There are reasons why they have them kitchens in mobile, mobile homes and you should use them. Basically, it are far too dangerous to cook on the road, especially if there are any truck traffic on it. And after them dumb questions I.M. has been gettin' it are nice to have a reasonable one fer a change.

I’ve always wondered how people like you and Nilda who travel from place to place get your mail?

It are amazing how hard some folks make this here full time mobile, mobile home life out to be. When we need to get our mail we just go to the post office where we had it sent to and pick it up. Course if it are email you’re a talkin’ bout, then you just get it off the computer. I can’t believe folks can’t figure these things out by their ownselfs.

A Weighty Problem in the Campground

2011-06-11T23:00:00.000-05:00

This are a continuationing of how the Hatey Weighty program come about so I.M.’s reeders can see that it were a well thought out plan and not something that just happened to happen.

Back to that camperfire story that feller were a tellin’, it seems like the feller with the flappin’ gums and bloody thumb didn’t believe them fellers when they first told him that what he were a haulin’ were just that. Which was that what he had been a haulin’ he weren’t now haulin’. All this time he were goin’ on about how them things were a fastened in right tite, and all padded and cushioned so they were gonna move none, no way.

Guess while he were a yakkin’ away, that cute woman got out of the truck and took a look see fer herownself. She come back up to the front with one of them cat got the canary grins and says to him that he just might want to take a look see fer hisownself. He sputtered a mite, but with her just a grinnin’ away at him, not sayin’ a word, he finally gits out of the truck.

He hadn’t gone but a couple of feet, as the feller tellin’ the story was a sayin’, until that yacker feller stops dead in his tracks, and his jaw clanked open, and stayed open fer once. A layin’ back there in the dust were them two shiny things just like everyonebody, includin’ that cute woman with him, were a tryin’ to tell him.

It are here the story gits murky as the feller tellin’ I.M. the story didn’t exactly see what happened next but had it related to him somewhile later. Some told him there was words between them two folks, others sayin’ there weren’t. Some said the woman walked away to a big old 5th wheel up near the entrance to the camperground, and others said she just took off out of the camperground and kept a walkin’. Still someonebody else told that she jumped in that truck and took off a leavin’ that feller a standin’ ther by hisownself. I.M. will say that whatever it were that happened, it must of been interestin' to say the least.

Weighing in around the Campfire

2011-06-10T23:00:00.000-05:00

The other day I.M. were a tellin’ y’all about the idea I.M. come up with to make money off’n them RVers that’s got money, the Hatey Weighty program. While I.M. are sure all y’all reeders wants the particulars of it, yer just gonna haft to weight awhile. (That are a pun fer them reeders that ain’t as sharp as I.M. are.) :)

Today we’all is gonna be examinationing what it were that give I.M. the idea fer this never afore thought of combination accident avoider and poverty preventer program. The other day a feller that were a prime grade A spinner of yarns stopped at this here camperground, and then proceeded to do some spinnin’ at the nightly campfires while he were here. This yarn took place at the last park he were at and what follows is as best as I.M. can recall what he were a sayin’.

He said it were the poundin’ he first noticed, then the feller and lady, followed by the big pickup truck. He weren’t sure what it were, but it must have been mighty important, that piece of paper that feller were a tackin’ up to the camperground bulletin board. While the poundin’ was a goin’ on, the feller was a jabberin’ away at the right cute woman standin’ next to him, which were probably the reason he hit his thumb with the hammer instead of that thumbtack that wouldn’t go into that board. Sheesh!

That brought out some other words and mutterin’s, but with the woman a takin’ over the hammer the paper were soon up, even if the thumbtacks wasn’t exactly in the corners and there were nice red smear on the paper. Then them folks got into that truck and started to turn around so they could drive off. It were then it happened, first one, followered by another shiny aluminum lookin’ things come slidin’ out of that truck and dropped onto the ground.

The feller didn’t seem to notice, him being so busy a yakkin’ and yammerin’ away at anyonebody he was drivin past. Finally someonebody got him to shut up long enuff to point out that what ever he had been a haulin’, he weren’t a haulin’ no more. That is when what I.M. will relate in the next post about how the Hatey Weighty program happened.

Wantstas, The RV Series 006, Part II

2011-06-09T23:00:00.003-05:00

We are now a resumptioning the tale of the wantsta, them folks that have almost but not quite made it to the fulltime RV mobile, mobile home way of livin’.

Then you decided to visit one of them RV mobile, mobile home shows, only to learn that they are swarmin’ with salepersons who has got the deal of all deals on the RV you just haven’t realized you wanted. But that don’t stop ya, next yer all over the internet, a reedin’ everything you can get yer eyeballs on. A reedin’ the forums, a reedin’ blogs and and a findin’ a website or two that are a promisin’ to fulfill all yer RV dreams, some with their website, some with their newspapers, some with their magazines, some with their rallys and some that promise you a rose garden and the roses that go I it.

Of course it are up to y’all to be a sortin’ through all this dubious detritus, (my cousin Mick told me that one), a decidin’ what the what are what, and what the what are what are not. Now afore y’all git to thinkin’ that I.M. are a gonna tell you the correct and true way to full time full timing, it ain’t gonna be that way. Just as you were thinkin’ I.M. are gonna make it easy, he are gonna do just the opposition to that. That are because it are up to y’all to decide what to do. If I.M. has learneded one thing bout this full time lifestye, it are that if you let someone else do the thinkin’ fer ya, yer gonna get exactly what ya deserve. And in the end yer not gunna be happy. I.M. not sorry to say that, but I.M. sorry that it aren’t said to more wantstas while they is still dreamers.

If y’all think yer a wantsta but ain’t sure if this is fer y’all or not, you ain’t a wantsta, yer an ifnheel or ifnsheel. I you think yer a wantsta, but you know that you have to keep on workin’ with the hope of havin’ enough money someday, yer a dreamer, not a wantsta. If yer wantin’ to live this full time life, but yer spouse, partner or significant other ain’t sure and so you are a holdin’ off, yer a dreamer, not a wantsta. If y’all really are a wantsta then ain’t nothin’ gonna prevent ya from livin’ this way and yer a lucky person. So ya gots to askin’ yerownself just like old Clint were a sayin': Do you feel lucky today, well do ya? Only you has gots the answer to that question, and if’n yer only a hopin’ yer lucky, you ain’t gonna be. I.M., who are effortlessly eradicating the education of everybody.

Breaking the News

2011-06-07T23:00:00.001-05:00

“Wer gonna live the fulltimin' life.”

As you might imagine, when I.M. first said that, I was not exactly sure what all the implications of those words were, even though I had been present the day his cousin took a wrong turn and accidently drove past the service station, which in turn led to our first encounter with the RV lifestyle. Unfortunately I didn’t get to talk at length to I.M.’s cousin’s wife, but since she appeared to be somewhat bewildered at the time, my ensuing confusion over what I.M. was proposing was probably quite reasonable.

When I.M. becomes excited, he can lapse into his native tongue, as I sometimes teasingly refer to that specific manner of speaking of his, the result of which meant that it took some time for me to realize the the full impact of the changes he was proposing for our life. Reading the comments that you wonderful readers leave on I.M.’s blog, as well as reading the blogs you write, I find it how amazingly varied are the ways by which you have reached the present point on the road to the fulltime life.

I wish I could speak to each of you, particularly to MeriKay with her somewhat difficult circumstances, and perhaps in the future I will attempt that, but for now I will describe how how I faced the prospect of a major upheaval in my life that was completely unforeseen. However I realize it will take several blog posts to relate it all, especially if I find myself emulating I.M. in the number of words I use.

I can understand how, based on I.M.’s description of our life, you might think I would have been excited about leaving where we lived, but you would be wrong. I was raised in a loving family where I never heard my mother talk of a life she might have had, I only heard her being thankful for the wonderful life she was fortunate enough to have. I too am thankful for what I have, knowing that dreams are only that, but I must say that in all my years with I.M., I never dreamed I’d be living the life I do today.

A Weighty Problem

2011-06-06T23:00:00.002-05:00

Me and Nilda has been travelin’ around some this here time of the year and as happens when we do that, Ol’ 5th Wheel can act up on occasional causin’ we’uns to spend a mite longer in a camperground than are usual fer us. We don’t pay no nevermind to that cause it just gives us more time to get to know folks and hear them interestin’ stories bout how folks live out here on the road.

The other night roundabout the campfire a feller was tellin’ a story about something that gots I.M. to thinkin’ about a new way that folks could make money while livin’ the fulltime in their RV mobile, mobile home. Skippin’ ahead, it are diet classes fer RV’ers. Not them curvy kind of weight classes the womenfolk like, but a class to show folks how to put their RV itsownself on a diet.

Now rememberin’ what that feller that taught that bloggin’ class I.M. took said about the best ideas comin’ to nothin’ if’n it don’t have a catchy title to get folks interested, I.M. as even come up with the name fer this money makin’ opportunity he is givin’ out fer free, Hatey Weighty. Think abouts it. First it are weight problem and second most everyonebody hates it that they gots this problem, makin’ Hatey Weighty the new byword of them that wants to make money, at least off any of them RV folks that’s got money that are.

I.M. can see it now, big flyers in the campergrounds of America proclaiming, “Has yer RV gots the mid-trip bluge? Are its muffler draggin’? Then look to Hatey Weighty to gits it runnin’ down the roads of our great country like a dog hot on the trail of a critter.”

I.M. tellin’ ya, that with advertizin’ like that, a feller would most likely be beatin’ back the customers they’d be so excited about what he were a offerin’. It are gonna take I.M. a few posts to lay out the whole idea, it’s background and the camperground story that give him the thought in the first place, but then with I.M. bein’ the bestest source of information on this way of livin’, it means I.M. has gots lots of good things to fill reeders heads with.

Additional RV Dreamers FAQ’s

2011-06-05T23:08:00.000-05:00

I.M. has been really listenin’ as he sits around the campfires at the RV parks and campergrounds that me and Nilda has been stayin’ at and it are apparent that there is a great need for still more of these faq’s I.M. has been writing. With that in mind, I.M. has selectioned a random sample of them questions for this blog post.

We have just bought our new to us camper ,what are the first things we should do when we pick it up tomorrow?

This are a question that everybody who buys that first RV has themownselves, but why it should be a problem is a puzzle, because the first thing y’all got to do is to open the door. Maybe theres some folks that are a long time camperin’ in a tent and would feel more comfortable a crawlin’ in a window at first, but it are beyond I.M. as to why.

We have heard about dry camping but aren’t sure how long we can do it. What advice can you give us?

I.M uncertain to what happens to normal folks common cents when they take up the mobile, mobile life, as it are like all the loose cents they got fall through a whole in their pocket. Y’all can dry camp until it starts to rain, at which point you is now wet campering. I.M. not sure how folks ever get to be so stupid as to even ask a question like this.

We just bought our first Class Motorhome. Should we take our toad or leave it at home on our first trip?

I.M. hopin' this were a serious question and not some type of impractical joke. Assumin' it are a serious question, I.M. would say it would depend on just how long yer goin' to be gone. If it were just fer the weekend, then leave it at home, but if'n yer gonna be gone fer longer yer better of takin' it along. I.M. could just imagine how y'all would feel if it were gone when ya got back, so better safe than sorry. Guess if'n yer dumb enuff to have a pet toad, yer not smart enuff to know what to do with it. If'n y'all don't read that animal head lady's blog y'all should, as it takes one to know one.

Wantstas, The RV Series 006

2011-06-02T23:00:00.000-05:00

The fourth step on the road to full time mobile, mobile home livin' are the wantsta step. I.M. sure that y’all didn’t know that it were such a complicationed process to this lifestye me and Nilda live, but that are why there are so many folks that talk about doin’ it, so few that actually takes it up, and then so many that drop outta it after just a few years. I.M. also an understandin’ of y’all if’n yer faced with a ifnheel or a ifnsheel and were a lookin’ for the words of wisdom only I.M. capable of producin’ to help y’all overcome that obstacle. There will be more on that later in this series, but fer now we are a lookin’ at them that wants to ties the full time knots and not them that are full time nots. Sorry to leave you a hangin’, but remember, a half not only tightens the noose around yer ownselfs neck and slowly strangles you.

Now none of this are a gittin’ us any further down the bumpy road to the fulltime life that are paved with good intentions and potholed with the realities that most folks can’t see fer all the golden dreams bein’ tossed their way. So that are where we are gonna begin this lesson, you bein’ one of them RV dreamer types that are a thinkin’ any dream are a good dream.

Once, long time ago, y’all had that very first first RV dream that turned into nightly RV dreams and you into a RV dreamer and maybe eventually you and who ever yer with into RV dreamers. You saw that first mobile, mobile home that were actually mobile. You went to a RV sales place and survived yer first encounter with the thing of RV nightmares, the RV mobile, mobile home salesperson where you learned that while you always thought there was some difference atween fellers and ladys, in this case there ain’t.

All this were in the early days of the learnin’ experience that everyonebody a livin’ this here way goes through. So in the second part of this lesson will will be dealin’ with the what’s whats and the what’s not whats. If’n yer not understandin’ that, then yer not a wantsta, but that are why I.m. are here to explain it to ya.

Commenting on the RV-DREAMERS :):):) Blog

2011-06-01T23:00:00.000-05:00

I.M. wants to thank all y’all whose a reedin’ this here blog, whether regular like, or on occasion. I.M. ain’t no different than most folks in that I.M. do appreciate the comments he gits, and from what I.M. reads that are what keeps most writers a writin’. Howsoever, don’t worry none if’n ya don’t make comments it are okay as I.M just enjoys writin’, even it weren’t that way back when he first begun.

As fer as comments on this blog go, if’n y’all want to comment but don’t want to be identified, just click the anonymous button on the comments which makes you totally anonymous with no way to tell who you are by nobody nowheres nohow noway. I.M. tellin’ ya all them Russian’s knows to do that fer sure.

As fer what folks say, I.M. don’t filter or delete no comments except that there is a hole bunch of Russian reeders that gets automatically put into the spam box by Blogger afore I.M anyone ever gits to see them. If’n it are a reel comment and I.M. can read it, it will be posted no matter what it are.

I.M. hasn’t got nothin’ against folks that’s got moderationing on their comments section of theierownselfs blog as a rule. It are just that I.M. don’t understands why they do it as the Blogger spam filter works at least 99% of the time. Howsoever, since everybody has gots their own way of doin’ things, it are okay.

What I.M. do object to are the folks who use that moderation to make sure that only things that is good fer them gits posted, especially thinkin’ of the fellers that make money a shearin’ the RV sheep. Grandpap always said it are a free country and folks is free to do their own thing. But somehows or other when yer tryin’ to point out that somethin’ are most obviously wrong and y’all can’t do it, it can be some upsettin’ at times. I.M. don’t believe it are a cause it comes from I.M., but rather them fellers don’t want nothin’ negative said about them other than the few times they especially allow it. That are so them that hangs on the every word them fellers write thinks them fellers is opened minded when actually they ain’t. I.M. has most likely said more than I.M. shoulda on this subjective as fer as some folks is concerned, but it bein’ I.M.’s blog, that are the way it are.

Reeders make Writers

2011-05-31T23:00:00.000-05:00

I.M. do most appreciate all y’all who has commentated on I.M.’s writin’ struggles as of late. I.M. don’t like to write just to be writin’ and have what are wrtten be just words on the screen with no meanin’. It are the same with comments that I.M. leaves on them blogs he reads. But it has been seemin’ like words is all I.M. has been writin’ as of late.

I.M. ain’t one to just comment, poor you, and leave it at that when you got problems and blog about them. I.M. tries to write something that maybe helpful in them cases. Other times when I.M. reads somethin’ interestin’ on a blog, I.M. tries to leave a most interestin’ comment back. I.M. also has fun a jabbin’ away on occasional at them that thinks that other folks in the RV mobile, mobile home way of livin’ owe them a livin’, or should at least provide them with the money to live the way they wants to instead of what they can actually afford.

Nilda has been pushing I.M. to write more about what our daily way of livin’ are and maybe it will happen. What I.M. tries to do are to show what the fulltime way of livin’ really are like fer most folks, which ain’t the way them fellers tryin’ to make a livin’ off’n y’all write. Sure they throws out a tidbit now and then that it ain’t all roses, but it sure seems to get lost in all that other smelly stuff they is throwin’ out by the shovelful.

Nilda has also been suggestin’ I.M. write an E Book, which she says is the latest thing in the publishing world, and that book should be I.M.’s unique perspective on RV mobile, mobile livin’. Since I.M. ain’t got time to do all there are to do now, that ain’t likely to happen, but Nilda can be mighty purr sway sieve when she wants to be. The first thing I.M. wants to do are to get back to doin’ some daily commentin’ on folks blogs, meanwhile them writin’ projects and probably the resuming of the writin’ this blog every day are just gonna have to wait a while.

Still More RV Dreamers FAQ’s

2011-05-29T23:00:00.001-05:00

There don't seem to be no end to the questions that newlies think are important, and with that in mind, here are some that will have you wonderin' if the I.M. are a tryin' to education the uneducationalble, of if it would be even worse if'n it weren't not fer I.M.'s depth of knowledge.

We have never owned an RV before, but because of all the helpful information in you blog, we have decided to join Nilda and you and become full timers. My husband thinks a front kitchen would be nice, though most RV’s have the the kitchen located in the center of the coach. I realize it would make it easy to look outside and enjoy the scenery when fixing our meals, but I also realize that entertaining and the thought of everyone having to always be walking through the kitchen area when they enter or leave the RV would be a problem since the RV we are looking at buying would be a large Class A Diesel Pusher with a bath and a half,a& walk-in closet and a 54 inch TV in the entertainment center. My husband is saying that I am worrying about nothing. What are your thoughts about this?

Lady, when you gots a question that I.M. has got to start reedin’ on Monday to finish reedin’ it on Wednesday, you don’t need no answer, you need to be a checkin’ yer husband’s hearing as I.M. can’t see no other reason he would put up with you. As far as yer question and what I.M.’s thoughts are, I.M. are gonna quote yer husband, “nothing”. P.S, just so you knows, it ain’t Nilda and me’s blog, it are, me and Nilda’s blog, I.M. being the brains ahind it all as you can tell from readin’ I.M.’s posts versus them that Nilda writes.

Why do my tires keep blowing out?

Cause the air keeps escapin’ from them. What are it with the questions I.M. has got here, don’t none of these folks gots any brains?

I have heard that slides can be a problem, should I stay away from them, and have you had any problems with them?

I .M. has never had any personal experience with them slides, though Nilda’s got a relative that lives out in California and she has written that they has had some slides. I.M. guessin’ that as long as you stay away from the mountains in the winter when it are snowin’ and California when it are rainin’ yer not gonna have no trouble with any slides. It are sure a pleasure on occasion to get a question that don’t have nothin’ to do with the mobile, mobile home lifestye as it lets I.M. showcase fer his reeders just how knowledgeable I.M. are on so many different subjects.

Just how much air should I put in my tires?

What are the shape of a donut.? How would you describe a ball? What do you say just after the "a" and afore the "toit"? What do you put in the chamber of a squirrel gun when you load it? Need I.M. ask anymore? If that tire ain’t round, it ain’t goin’ no wheres, so if it are flat on the bottom it ain’t got enough air in it. As far as how much enuff is enuff, somewheres there are a label that says how much is enough, though what with you askin’ that there question the way you did, I.M. wonderin’ if yer smart enough to be reedin’ it even if y’all were able to find it.

Nilda’s Nook: Beginnings

2011-05-28T08:31:00.000-05:00

After thinking about it, I realized that to begin simply writing somewhere in the middle of my life with I.M. would would result in something that would be just a little too close to I.M.’s way of writing. You will have to pardon my sometimes indirect way of confronting issues and writing about things, but with I.M. reading these posts, and knowing how how proud he is of RV-Dreamers:):):), plus how much he struggles with his writing, I want to make sure that nothing I write could detract from his efforts. As Mama always said: Love can be expressed in many ways. Abiding love is knowing which one is right for the moment.

I.M. always says the first thing he ever noticed about me was my hair. While that may be open to some interpretation, Mama did spend hours brushing and fixing my hair when I was growing up, though it may have had more to do with my being the only girl child than my hair being so special. Needless to say, my upbringing was considerably different from I.M.’s even though our families lived only a dozen or so miles distant from each other. I say that so you can understand why as I relate my childhood, you see no references to the man with whom I have come to share my life with.

Long time readers of RV-Dreamers:):):) may recall that about a month ago I.M. posted something that I wrote about my parents. It would seem that in many ways there is a parallel between their life and my own, only in reverse. Since Papa was a teacher and Mama was, well, Mama, our home was filled with books and an unending opportunity to learn and experience everything life had to offer. Of course when you have two older brothers and are the only girl in the family, they can certainly make your life quite interesting at times, though not always to your benefit, which is something I may write about in the future. I appreciate the opportunity to share with you and look forward to our next time together.

Ifnsheels, The RV Series 005, Part II

2011-05-26T23:00:00.001-05:00

The conclusion of the insheel article, and fellers I.M. tellin’ ya, it ain’t a gonna be pretty.

Then time passes and them youngun’s is in school and then they’s outta school. All this time the feller of the house been a workin’ his butt off a tryin’ to spend time with the good old boys most nights after work, goin’ huntin’ or fishin’ every weekend, fixin’ up cars, and drink beer whenever y’all got some spare time. Meanwhile all that woman has had to do is to reap the rewards of the mans hard work he were a doin’, both day and night. Then you finally reach the point that your gonna have to give somethin’ up, you workin’ so hard and y’all decides it will be yer day work, at which point you learn about the full time mobile, mobile home way of livin’.

Since it will be given y’all the freedom to work harder on the night work y’’all enjoy so much, you study up on the full time lifestye and announce to the by now in her life, much larger woman, as she are a washin’ the dishes, that yer a gonna sell everything and take up a new way of livin’. Fer a momentum or two she just stares at you, then she reacts. The impact of that, which were the skillet in her hand a landin’ alongside yer head which puts you out cold on the floor. Y’all have just met up with a ifnsheel face to skillet, yer just not a wares of it yet.

When y’all finally regain yer senses and the bells stop a ringin’, you sit there a wonderin’ just exactly what brung that on. Here you was, a offerin’ her an escape from from the drudgery and boredom of not having you around 24 hours a day and it ain’t seemin’ like she are likein’ it one bit. Now y’all are a thinkin’ if’n she’ll just realize what this means to me. If’n she’ll stop thinkin’ of herownself and think of me. If’n she’'ll realize that she won’t have to call me to supper cause I’ll be right close all the time. And when fer some reason you realize that there ain’t none of these agrumentatives a getting’ y’all closer to yer full time mobile, mobile home lifestye, it hits you just as that skillet did, you has runned head on into a ifnsheel.

I.M. has Missed a Day

2011-05-25T23:00:00.000-05:00

I.M. has figured that some of the reeders of this blog has already figured out what I.M. was a talking about on Monday’s post, and yer probably right.

What I.M. are a tryin’ to say a gentle as possible is that this here blog ain’t gonna be published each and every day of the week in the future as it has been in the past. Fer now I.M. are thinkin’ that 5 days most weeks and maybe 4 on occasion are what I.M. are gonna be doin’. So if my couple of regular readers see a day missing it ain’t cause there is somethin’ wrong, it cause there ain’t enough time to write and still do all them other things I.M. are wantin’ do. So maybe there is more than a couple of regular reeders, but I.M. are a modest feller and braggin’ at his style like with some folks writin’ blogs. I.M.’s style are tellin’ it like it are. The not so good, the bad, and the reelly bad.

Me and Nilda had some plans fer the summer but they is getting’ interruptioned, so what yer gonna be getting’ are what it are. On the other hand I.M. are tryin’ to get his cousin’s Meal Mooch Lem and Rotund Mick to be contributin’ articles on a more regular basis so that the black void of the no blog postdays will be filled and you won’t be missin’ anything.

I.M. are going to be trying to keep up with his FAQ’s and 001 series as there is such a need in the RV mobile, mobile home community fer informations like that. I.M. has also got some new ideas fer things to write about that them want to make money off y’all fellers ain’t doin’, and in fact there ain’t no one in the full time RV mobile, mobile home community a writin’ about. Even though I.M. ain’t lettin’ the cat outta the bag on that one, I.M. are thinkin’ folks will be eager to pick the worms a wigglin’ in that fresh plowed ground, but good.

Changes are a Coming

2011-05-23T23:00:00.002-05:00

I.M. has been given a whole bunch of thought to this here blog over the past few weeks and has come to a conclusion or two. Actually I.M. come to many conclusions but I.M. concluded that most of them wasn’t what I.M. wanted to be doin’ so they is now concluded conclusions while this is this concluding conclusion .

There ain’t enough hours in the day to do all that needs to be getting’ done. Writin’s one thing, readin’s another thing. And livin’ the fulltime mobile, mobile home life and having enjoyments at it fer me and Nilda is another altogether thing. If’n y’all is a doin’ it, yer knowin’ each of them things takes a bunch of time. Right now I.M. has got some 150 plus blogs he tries to read, from which there is 50 or more of them folks writin’ on any given day.

Couple that with the hours of research it takes to write this here blog to the standards it are wrote, and you can see too many hours goin’ by each and every day. I'f’n any of y’all has had a comment by I.M. on yer blog, and there ain’t been many of late, I.M. bein’ so spread out and all, yer a knowing that comments of that caliber ain’t the first thing that pops into I.M.’s mind. In fact them comments don’t pop at all, they has to be drug out, word by word.

It also takes time to travel from place to place and to see things whenever Ol’ 5th Wheel are operatin’ like it should and we gets to where we is a goin’. Anyonebody that thinks the fulltimin’ RV mobile, mobile home life are a bed of petunias has got a wake up call like a 2x4 to the side of the head a comin’. What I.M. is tryin’ to say are there is some changes gonna be takin’ place to this here blog, some of which y’all will most immediately be recognizin’.

FAQ’s the RV Dreamers Way

2011-05-22T23:00:00.005-05:00

There seems to be no limit to the things that folks who are interested in the full time, fulltime RV mobile, mobile lifetye are confusioned about, and with that in mind, here are more answers to the questions only someonebody as smart as I.M. are incapable of answerin’.

Not having ever owned an RV before, I have a concern about waste disposal times. Can you give me some guidance on how long this should take.

While some of the reeders of this blog might think that this are a rather delicate subject to be disgusting in a public, I.M. thinking it are something that all we RV’ers is a facin’ on occasion. My ownselfs experience is that prune juice taken in quantity will speed the process up quite a bit, while large amounts of hard cheese will act as a sure way to clog things up. Based on this, if you got a big family a goin’ RV’ing, take along lots of prune juice and them folks will be in and out of that bathroom right fast. On the other hand, say y’all got the wifes mama along and she are the most obnoxious person ya ever did know. Then just keep a stuffin’ her a full of that hard cheese and she’ll be a sittin’ in there most of the weekend, a workin’ hard with nothing to show fer it.

My husband and I each have different things that bug us to no end. In my case it is ants. Do you have any suggestions as to how to prevent them from entering the RV?

I.M. not sure exactly why you has this phobia as they may be a little distrubin’ at times, but if’n you don’t pay them no never mind, they will usually not bother you. If you need something more drastic, I.M. would suggest that you don’t invite them along campering with you any more, and if they still show up, then just lock the door until the give up and leave. It ain’t really no problem with our family as all them ants on my side are only into the immobile home lifestye and not the mobile, mobile home life. On Nilda’s side they are the best cooks that ever put food on a table so we would never turn them away. That are two questions in a row that has dealt with relatives. Hows about we get back to talkin’ about RV problems and situations again.

Fuel prices are going out of sight this summer. Do you have any helpful hints on how we can live the RV life but not spend all our money on fuel?

A long time ago there was some song about puttin’ the bop in the bopper bop, and what ya gots to do is to take a page from that . If’n they can put the mobile in the mobile, mobile home, hows come can’t you take it out? Y’all make it a immobile home like they was up on the gulch and it ain’t gonna be goin’ no place, meaning that yer not spendin’ nothin’ on no fuel. And if yer a thinkin’ that you took up the mobile, mobile home life to be mobile, then quit yer bellyachin’ and pay what it costs. You wanted one of them monstroserties that burns gas like flushin’ it down a toilet, so suck it up and live with it.

Sometimes it ain’t as much fun bein’ out here as you thought, are it? And if your in a bind cause you were a listenin’ to one of them fellers that makes there money off tellin’ you how to make yer RV dreams come true, maybe you should be askin’ them to chip in something for yer fuel fund.

Nilda’s Nook: Ideas and Subjects

2011-05-21T23:00:00.000-05:00

As I mentioned in my last post, today we will be dicussing with you, what I will be writing about in Nilda’s Nook. I.M. has taken pains to point out to me that because he writes about our day to day life, I should concentrate on more general subjects, particularly ones that would appeal to women. I think, dear readers, that we both know that I.M. hardly ever writes about our day to day life, so I will try to write about those experiences from my perspective from time to time as well, but for now it is enough just to be writing.

Before I get into the subjects that I think you might find interesting, let me say that any ideas you may have regarding what you would like me to cover in my writings would be most appreciated. It is understandable that you would be curious as to how people so different as I.M. and I are could come to share a life with one another. I know I.M. has mentioned the possibility that he may cover that subject, but even if he does, you would no doubt appreciate hearing about it from my point of view.

I.M. has also never written about what transpired during the time we were preparing to leave the Gulch after making the decision to live our new life. Neither has he detailed just how he converted Ol’ 5th into our home on wheels. While it may not be my place to write about what transpired during those times, I certainly think you would find them most interesting. I know that I certainly did as I lived them.

Perhaps you would like to know what was going through my mind when I.M. first proposed leaving the Gulch and our life there, behind. I will certainly confess to being one of those ifnsheels that I.M. just wrote about. Perhaps I could write about the fears and frustrations that seem to go hand in hand with life on the road, which is really learning to expect the unexpected and to accept it.

I.M. says I should just put my ideas in a jar, reach in, pull one out, and write about whatever it may be. Perhaps for my first post I shall write about living with someone whose idea of planning is doing whatever he just thought of, which is something that I will never get used to, but also wouldn’t have any other way. Or maybe I will just follow I.M.’s suggestion, so until next time, take care.

Lem: Time to Eat

2011-05-20T23:00:00.000-05:00

As it were told, Lem and Clara Belle both had a most amazin’ time that weekend, Lem amazed that they had arrived in one piece, and Clara Bell amazed at the number of stores there was to shop in, meanin’ Lem spent his time with all the fellers at the camperground while Clara Belle were spendin’ money at all them stores.

It were while Lem were a chewin’ the fat with the fellers in the afternoon that he learned of the gosh darnedest thing, which to him sounded like it were just like what him, Clara Belle and the horde had gottened into some weeks past, but all over again. Them fellers was a sayin’ there was some kind of school goin’ on where folks that didn’t know nothin’ about the RV life, as they put it, was bein’ trained up on a bunch of information, most of which was somethin’ they’d either never use or not remember when the time come to use it.

Lem were still smilin’ about them tales when Clara Belle come back all exhausted from her shopping extravaganza. It didn’t take Lem long to total up all them receipts and realize two things. The first being that there had been so much shoppin’ on Clara Belle’s agenda that she weren’t in no condition to cook Lem’s dinner. That would have been okay except that those fountains the kids was playin’ in that had sprung up the night Lem arrived, had also flooded out the camperground gatherin’ area, so this weeks pot luck were canceled.

That were how they ended up at the local pizza place where they not only had a good time, but Lem were able to mooch them a meal, which he needed to do on account of Clara Belle spendin’ all their money at shoppin’. It had turned out that a bunch of folks from that school was there and as soon as Lem learned it, he used that knowledge he had learned at that earlier rally to start wowin’ folks. Them not knowin’ he were not a teacher, but thinkin’ he were, one of them folks offered to buy Lem and Clara Belle’s meal fer them, which just about burst Lem’s buttons.

As they was standin’ in line, Lem was hearin’ the conversin’ goin’ on ahind him, and he heard a feller askin’ another feller if’n he learned much at the school. Then that feller were a mentionin’ bout how little the teachers was paid, an afore Lem knowed it, the other feller were a offern’ to buy the teacher feller and his wife their meal. Lem thought that were pretty slick, but it were even more surprisin’ when Lem turned around and found hisownself staring at that feller that were the king of meal moochers from that earlier rally. All of which made Lem feel real good, knowin' that he had mooched his meal afore the king of the meal moochers did.

Ifnsheels, The RV Series 005

2011-05-19T23:00:00.000-05:00

In this series of posts, I.M. bringin’ y’all the basics of the RV mobile, mobile home life. and pursuiting that goal, here is the otheside ofthe ifnheel, the ifnseel. I.M. has read that life are supposed to be much like a bell curve, and on account of him not knowing exactly what that are, but asumin’ it has somethin’ to do with the shape a woman seems to take on as she gets older, I.M. gonna use it to illustrious this concept of the ifnsheel.

As before, I.M. wants y’all to know that just like ifnheels, ifnsheels can come in lots of different variations, so don’t be all that surprised if’n y’all see someonebody yer a knowin’ in these writin’s, even if thy don’t exactly match up to the way I.M. are puttin’ it. Realize that when yer faced with an ifnsheel y’all gots a problem, but to understands what yer reelly a lookin’ at, it are better to look at the originations of a ifnsheel first.

There were a time when y’all were a lookin’ at each of the other of you, all moonie eyed and pie faced. It were a time when y’all couldn’t git enough closedness of each other and separation were painful in more ways than one. Then ya’all probably gots that piece of paper that made it official that ya both were one and you plunged right into that there life a tryin’ to make the two of ya, three or more. Fer most of y’all it weren’t long afore young’uns was a squirtin’ out like seeds from a mouthful of watermelon.

Now much as you would like to thing life were nothin' but a bed of roses, just like with roses, there were a thorn or two that sprung up. Maybe it were the mashe taters. She were brung up that them taters weren't not no good unless the skins was left on, while he were brung up to think that the devil incarnate and all the bad he had would be descendin' on yer home if there were on fleck of skin in them taters. In other words, there was some slight misunderstandin's that were happenin' twixt the two of ya which would manifest itself in the form of the ifnsheel in a few years.

Lem: Camping Experiences

2011-05-18T23:00:00.000-05:00

The unfortunate part are that Lem never did write anything about that drive down to that camperground, though I.M. figuring that at the next family reunion there will be somethin’ told that one cousin or another will be lettin’ me and Nilda know about. What were wrote was that when they arrived at the camperground Clara Belle headed directly to the ladies room, where she stayed fer quite some time while Lem took care of the registerin’ and tryin’ to get set up.

I.M. thinkin’ even though Lem left out so many particulars of what happened, that between the mention of Clara Belle and the ladies room and Lem usin’ the word “tryin’” to describe getting’ set up, it don’t take no genius to fill in a blank or two. Lem did let slip that them two fellers helpin’ him back into the camper sight knowed even less than Lem did about it. Not oly that, but it appears the registration lady were getting’ concerned about the mob of folks that were gatherin’ around Lem, and what with him havin’ knocked over every utility post in sight, she were concerned that all them folks were next on Lem’s list of things to hit.

Then just as Clara Belle come out of the ladys room, the registration lady reassigns them to a long pull through site screechin’ at Clara Belle to tell Lem to just drive down the middle of the road, and whatever he does, don’t back up no more. Clara Belle not knowin’ what Lem had been a doin’ to the camperground, weren’t sure why that lady were so upset, but still, she told Lem just what the lady said.

It weren’t too long afore they was set up, and watchin’ all the family fun at the camperground. Clara Belle were a little disappointed that the nightly camperfire had to be cancelled on account of wet grounds, but she said it were just as much fun watchin’ all the kids playin’ in the water fountains that was sprayin’ up into the air around where Clara Belle thought the lady had told her that they would be stayin’ when she made the reservation. Still Clara Belle weren’t unhappy since them kids had such a big area to play in even if it where uneven, havin’ tire ruts runnin’ every which way in it.

Lem: First RV Trip

2011-05-17T23:00:00.000-05:00

So it were with much happiness that Lem and Clara Belle set out on their inaugural expedition in that mobile, mobile home, a windin’ their way down towards the big city and a weekend of wedded bliss, or at least that were what Lem were thinkin’. One thing that Clara Belle did were to book them into a camperground fer the weekend so they wouldn’ be a gittin’ there and havin’ no place to stay.

She had first looked at the local Kind Of Awful camperground, but upon hearin’ so many folks havin’ had the exact experience it were a promotin’ by the way it were named, she decided to loook elsewhere. Plus she were already feelin’ lonesome fer the horde even though her and Lem weren’t leavin’ on this trip fer a couple of weeks, so she found a camperground to stay at with the word Family in its name.

Fer someonebody who had never afore even stayed so much as one night in a mobile, mobile home, Lem said the expereince of stayin’ in one that actually had the wheels on it were right up there with the time Clara Belle had Jimmy Jack, him makin’ the horde an even dozen and all. Now Lem’s pickup truck didn't have much pickup to it, but he weren’t a worried cause it were mostly all down hill from where they was to where they was a goin’. And Lem bein’ one of the smarter fellers in the family, knowed that getting’ it slowed down weren’t no problem either.

Seems like Clara Belle were concerned with runnin’ out of things durin’ this extensive two day trip and consequentially had loaded it with enough fer a month or more. It were so overloaded that when Lem hitched it up, its tongue were lookin’ more like that of a hound that had been runnin’ round in circles fer most of the day. The backend of that truck were so far down, meanin’ the front end were so far up, Lem was a worried he’d have to put on a set of helper wheels on it just to steer it. Can’t y’all just imagine them two headin’ down off the Gulch with not much in the way of brakes and even less in the steerin’ department.

Something from Lem

2011-05-16T23:00:00.000-05:00

Y’all might recall I.M’s cousin Lem, he of Clara Belle and the horde that I.M. wrote about some weeks distant, and it are okay if’n y’all don’t cause yer gonna learn more about Lem today. The last time Lem were on these pages he were a sendin’ dispatches from the front where sneakin' into an RV rally where he were perfectin' the art of meal moochin’ while honing his skills at the foot of the world’s foremost meal moochin’ expert. Now it happens that just the other day Lem were good enuff to send I.M. an update on what he were a doin’ in hisownselfs life, and I.M. thinkin’ all y’all mite be interested in what it were.

After Lem, Clara Belle, and the horde left that rally and returned to Kentucky to pursuit their unusual way livin’, Lem gots to talkin’ to his down creek neighbor about a immobile, mobile home that were a sittin’ unused out back behind that fellers outhouse. Seems Lem had set in on a class at that rally that were called, near as Lem could remember, Pickin’ the right mobile, mobile home fer yer fulltime life. What Len tooked away from that were that fact that when y’all sees it, y’all will know it, and this were it.

It took Lem some time to get it hauled over to his place and fixed up the way Clara Belle wanted it, Lem keepin' in mind these words from that class: If mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. All this are quite a story and with the voluminous material Lem has sent to I.M., it will make fer some interestin’ blog posts some day. But that ain’t what this are all about so we is fast forwarning you, to what Lem learned on his first outing in what was at that time, his brand new to him, mobile, mobile home.

Clara Belle, always wantin’ to spend a weekend in the big city, had connived Lem into doin’ just that fer their first trip, even though Lem were not exactly enthusiastically receiving what Clara Belle were a tellin’ him. That howsoever changed right quick when Clara Belle let Lem know that her sister was gonna be taken care of the horde so Lem and her could have the entire weekend all to they themownselves. As Lem put it in his email, he were beginnin’ to see what so many folks was seein’ in this mobile, mobile home kind of life.

Questionable Questions for I.M.

2011-05-15T23:00:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I.M. gets questions that don't fall into what could be called the normal course on human events or something like that. Howsoever, the fact that someonebody actually asked a question like this helps the reeders of this blog understand just what they might be meetin' in the camperground when they starts talkin' to their neighbor.

Should I buy a motorhome or a 5th wheel?

Fer the life of hisownself, I.M. can not believe that folks actually ask questions such as this. The best answer I.M. can think of is, no. Now if’n you had said, driving a big vehicle like a motorhome frightens me and it scares me silly to pull a trailer, do you think I should buy a motorhome or a 5th wheel? The answer would be easier, and would be, no. If you said, my wife likes to sleep when we are traveling, but when we arrive she is always complaining about my driving being too wild. Would it be better to buy a 5th wheel or a motorhome, the answer would be no. If you said, we have looked into both 5th wheels and motorhomes, but while I like motorhomes, my wife doesn’t. However she really likes the room in 5th wheels but we have always liked to stay in walk-in back country campgrounds. Meaning I appreciate the maneuverability of a motorhome. Do you think we should buy a motorhome or a 5th wheel, the answer would be no. I.M. writin’ all this in this here answer just to point out that there ain’t no such thing as a dumb question, but there sure are some incapably dumb folks a askin’ them questions, just as there are some intelligent folks with the patients of Job a tryin’ to answer them, like yers truly.

Living in our stix and brix we have often bought things online. Is there anything special I need to do to make online purchases once we begin living the full time mobile, mobile life?

I.M. thinkin’ this are one of them trick questions that folks that gots nothin’ better to do will post. In the first place they has used the term stix and brix which are a major clue, that being the name of that mix with them Checks Serials in it that some folks serve to their guests when they don’t want to fix no real appetizers like possum points or squirrel snicker-doddles. Then to make it even more suspicious, they used them mobile, mobile home words, somethin’ that only myownselfs cousin’ was likely to do and them cousins wouldn’t have a clue as to what stix and brix was, so it has got to be one of them there troll type posts. I.M. sure y’all probably got took on that one, but that are why you got I.M. a doin’ this as nothin’ like this gets by him.

We are new fulltimers and someone said we should be using the 2-2-2 method of travel, but we do not have a clue as to what it is, can you enlighten us?

With a brain the size that you got, if’n it were to get any lighter y’all would most likely float away. The 2-2-2 plan? Are you sure someonebody wasn’t a pullin’ yer leg, y’all be newlies and all? If’n I.M. were a guessin’ which I.M. are not, I.M. would say that it means that on the days you drive, y’all leave at 2 in the morning, drive 2 someplace, and try to arrive afore 2 the followin’ mornin’. That are assumptioning that y’all got a mobile, mobile home as easy to fix as old 5th wheel. If’n y’all don’t, it could mean 2 AM, 2 days, 2 AM. Hopefully this ain’t typical of the brains of them folks that are now becoming newlies.

Nilda’s Nook: Exploring New Worlds

2011-05-14T23:00:00.000-05:00

It is difficult to believe it has already been a week since I.M. first proposed that I write a weekly column. Likewise, neither can I fully express in words the joy I felt when I.M. reminded me last night that I needed to have a post written for tonight’s blog entry. In a way it was like the first time I was ever at a rock and roll concert and suddenly realized the star whom I had idolized for so long was standing on stage, staring directly at me, and only me. Only this time I did not start jumping up and down, while screaming at the top of my voice.

I am sure that you noticed the title of todays post, which I am not sure that I will be keeping, but that was suggested by I.M. Since I have been helping I.M. with the titles to his posts, he thought only fair that he help me with mine. I will admit to having reservations at first, but when I realized that he really did want me to succeed at this I relented. It was also in the back of my mind that if I.M. could not help me with the title he would find somewhere else to contribute to my posts and one can only imagine what the result of that might be.

I have to admit that Nilda’s Nook not only has a nice ring to it, it very nicely conveys the idea of what I will be contributing to RV-Dreamers:):):). The focus will remain on I.M. and his writings, but should one want to take a break from the information I.M. provides, to seek out a moment of repose and reflection, hopefully that is what Nilda’s Nook will provide.

Before I go for today, here is a sampling of some of the suggestions I.M. had for the title that were not used.

Naively Nilda
Nilda’s Nail Polish
Namely Nilda
Nilda’s Nation
Nutty Nilda
Nilda’s Number 1
Notoriously Nilda
Nosy Nilda
Normally Nilda
Nilda’s Nonsense
Nilda Next Door
Nilda’s News
Nice Nilda
Nilda’s Nitpickings

As you can see, while I.M.’s heart is in the right place, the way he expresses it occasionally leaves something to be desired. Take care until we visit again next week when I will share some of my thoughts and solicit your ideas for future Nilda’s Nook posts.

The FMMHA Explained, Part II

2011-05-13T23:00:00.000-05:00

So now we has got the FMMHA, and we knows how to decipher the code, but we ain’t got the key to the code, or do we? If I.M. were a guessin’ feller, which he are not, he would guess the two M’s stand fer Meal Mooch, which they doesn’t. Now some of yer a thinkin’ y’all got a hint from that F and M in the beginnin’ thinkin it stands fer Famous Motorcoach, or Family Motorhome, which it don’t. Then ya really puts yer thinkin’ hat on, thinkin' that A has gots to stand fer Association. Bingo! You got it and are almost there, with there meanin’ out of words without havin come up with what FMMHA means.

That are when y’all start thinkin’ like I.M., and see MMH, and it hits you, Mobile, Mobile, Home, which leaves out the F. To put you out of yer misery, it are that most famous of all mobile, mobile home lifestye organizations, the Foolmany Mobile Mobile Home Association. It are where you pay somethin’ in every year and they convinces you that yer getting’ more than you put in, out of it. They puts on these big gits togethers, and yer a payin’ fer them, but a havin’ so much fun agoin’ yer a missin’ just how much it are a costin’ ya.

It are amazin’ that folks can raise the holy everything over the cost of fuel, but think nothin’ of drivin’ 500 or 1000 miles to one of these get togethers, and spend all kinds of money a stayin' there because they are knowin’ others that go. Then they turns around and buys their grandkids less fer Christmas cause they can’t afford more. Y’all gots to make yer own priorities, but make sure it ain’t someonebody else a makin’ a bunch of money off’n y’all that makin’ them priorities fer ya. Thus has I.M. spokened.

Ifnheels, The RV Series 004, Part II

2011-05-12T23:00:00.000-05:00

When I.M. last left off. we had just mentioned a possible cure an Ifnheel, which were a 2x4. We will now see why this are a possible recommended solution to this problem

What happens is that all them years you was a slavin’ away bein’ the nurse, the chauffeur, the cook and the bottle washer, he were busy spendin’ quality time with the boys as he referenced it, collecting tools and other things that fell under the name of boys toys. It were like when you’d go on them weekenders campin’ and he would spend all hisownselfs time a ridin’ that ATV when he weren’t sittin’ by the fire you built, a hollerin’ fer y’all to fetch him another beer.

So here y’all sit, a frothin’ at the mouth, a wantin’ to sell everything and take off in some tiny box to live out the rest of yer life havin’ him drive you from one RV park to the next where the sun are always a shinin’ and the ladies are a gatherin’ fer their everyday, all day get together. That man are just scaret to death about this. Give up all his tools and toys. Give up his beer drinkin’ buddies, even give up his house, it ain’t gonna happen. He are the king of the castle, and he are gonna keep it that way.

Meanwhile you are a feelin’ lower and lower, yer RV dreams a turnin’ to nightmares. You find yerownself a sayin’ over and over, If’n he’ll just see what I see, he would want to sell everything and live the full time life. If’n he’ll just see what might be instead of what has been, we could be livin’ the full time life. That are when that idea of taken a 2x4 to him starts lookin’ better by the second. I.M. not sayin’ what y’all should be a doin’, but from where I.M. come from there were always one sure way to get a mule’s attention.

Some folks never have to face an ifnheel, others never get beyond it, but if you know it might happen you can preparation for it. That are why you reed what I.M. writing about the full time life, cause I.M. don’t put no rose colored glasses on it like some folks do.

Beauty Palor Talk

2011-05-10T23:00:00.000-05:00

I.M. hesitatin’ to repeat them words Nilda cut loose with, but here they is: "I.M., while your phraseology left a little to be desired, it still deserves an honest response. So I will attempt to answer it in such a way that you will be able to understand and identify with." Now Nilda ain’t never cut loose on me like that afore, and I.M. were a dreadin’ that she was goin’ to resort to crude menfolk talk in her actual answer to me.

That were when she said: "It was a fruit enzyme peel beauty treatment that I had today, Trying to explain it in such a way that you can grasp the meaning of it, it is a deep exfoliation technique, however unlike microdermabrasion, laser peels and many other popular deep exfoliation techniques, enzyme peels do not require the involvement of a medical professional, only a licensed esthetician. The procedure consists primarily of the application of natural enzymes that gently slough away old cells and reveal the healthy skin underneath. Considered a holistic skin care technique, it reduces the appearance of age spots, superficial scars and fine lines, and if we were to stay here for a lengthy period of time while you try to fix Old 5th, additional treatments could even lessen the appearance of deeper wrinkles."

At that point I.M. were a standin’ there with his mouth a flappin’ wide open, though at least I.M. has gots all his teeth unlike most of his cousins, and I.M. were most definitely not a knowin’ what to say to Nilda. Had she just cussed I.M. out? Had she told I.M. she were a gonna skin him alive? It were beyond me. Then she just looks at me, and says, I.M., you are the sweetest man alive, thank you for noticing, and with that she gives me a kiss. I.M. hoping that the next time cousin Lem runs into a world expert it are the feller that understands women cause I.M. sure could use some help.

Asking the Wrong Question About the Beauty Parlor

2011-05-09T23:00:00.000-05:00

The last time Nilda come back from her weekly beauty parlor trip, I.M. admittin’ to notating that something were a slight bit different with her. Nilda has always took great pride in her hair, and it were just as pertty as it always was, a framin’ her face and all. Sometime I.M. has gots to tell you how Nilda’s hair figured in I.M. noticing Nilda fer the first time, but that are getting’ off this here subject. That are also a remindering me to see if’n I.M. can find a picture of me and Nilda to show all you reeders just what we are lookin’ like.

One of my reeders has asked I.M. to do an interview, something he has been puttin’ off to the point of not bein’ able to put it off no longer, so he may provide a picture along with that transcription of the interview. The problem with a doin’ something like that are that, what I.M. are, is who I am. And it are really hard to deluge my secerts onto the world. But maybe it are finally time fer it all to come out, and that are what are really interestin’ about my followers. I gits lost and they’s no where to be seen. But fer bein’ so incapable of followering a road, they is awefully good at writin’ and picture takin’. Some folks gots lots of followers, I.M. has got fewer followers, but them are quality followers, the ones with grey matter where gray matter outta be, hopin’ animal heads gots grey matter of course, else I.M. gots to leave one out.

Ain’t it funny how one minute I.M. can be talkin’ bout Nilda and the next bout some animal head. Hope there ain’t no connection there. So back to where I.M. were, which were lookin’ at Nilda and not a seein’ the exact Nilda I.M. were rememberin’ seein’ when she left for the beauty palor, but not knowin’ what the difference were. That were when out popped the questionable question which I.M. immediately regretted, You look different Nilda, what did you do to yerownself? It weren’t long after askin’ that, before I.M. learned that Nilda’s vocaulary has some words that I.M. sure never knowed that Nilda knowed. And he sure knowed he hadn’t never heard them from her, even if’n she were repeating what someonebody else probably said.

RV FAQ’s from RV Dreamers:):):)

2011-05-08T23:00:00.001-05:00

There are no end to the kinds of questionable questions that RV mobile, mobile home folks has got. There are times that I.M. does wish that it were only his cousins that were a readin’ this here blog, then the only questions would be about them cement block shiftin’ under their immobile, mobile home. Sheesh

My husband is converting a bus into an RV. He wants to put the fresh water tank under the bed. Is this a good idea?

I.M. are amazed at the number of times this question comes up during a campfire discussion, so it must be a real hot topic in the mobile, mobile home world. Because of that, I.M. has plunged into this with both feet a tryin’ to undercover the definitive answer so as to lay it to rest fer once and all. Unfortunately, just as I.M. were afraid of, there is no one answer to this question fer some oblivious reasons. One option are to use a water bed which provides the solution as long as you don’t use the water. The other are to use a solid tank which can make fer some mighty uncomfortable sleepin’ if yer a body that don’t like that. Thus, I.M. has conclusioned the best solution are to just use a mattress under the bed to sleep on and put the water tank somewhere else

When should I winterize my RV?

I.M. knowin’ this question just had to come from one of them folks that has not yet been able to attend one of them RV rallys where they pay big bucks to have questionables like this answered. Either that, or it are from one of them many cousins I.M. has got that has gotted interested in this mobile, mobile lifestye after readin’ me and Nilda’s blog. I.M. gonna break the news to y’all kind of gentle like, but it are best to do it before winter. Mostly cause it sure ain’t called summerize. Though to summerize the intelligence level of some of folks postin’ these questions would result in that equaling nothin.

I.M. are, as always, glad to be answerin’ the questions the mobile, mobile home masses is intensely interested in, and I.M. hopin’ to git one sometime..

A Word From Nilda

2011-05-07T23:00:00.000-05:00

Several nights past, I.M. was sitting at the computer staring at his blog, but from his posture I could tell he was troubled. Everyone who knows I.M., whether as a relative or through his writing, knows that he is a person who looks at the bright side of things to the point of seeing that which is unseen by everyone else. When I asked him what was wrong, while at the same time rubbing his shoulders and back to help him relax, he just pointed to the screen.

This was so uncharacteristic of I.M. that I knew something was deeply troubling him. I knew I.M. would talk about what it was when he wanted to, and after a few minutes he turned around, relating that he was feeling bad because he knew I wanted to write an occasional blog entry for RV-Dreamers:):):), but he gets so involved in his own writing that he sometimes forgets about what my dreams are. Those few words, so packed with emotion and feeling, are one of the things that makes I.M. so special in ways that people who don’t really know him can never understand.

While I will keep those special parts of I.M. to myself, and if that is being selfish, so be it, the result of our conversation was that I.M. has proposed that I write an occasional blog post. Even though I.M. had done this once before I would never remind him of that or that he promptly forgot about it after I had written a post, and so I told him I would be thrilled to add a post on occasion if he would like. I knew the answer would be yes, which his eyes affirmed before he said the words, and so I hope you will not mind if from time to time something a little different appears as a post on these pages.

I have several ideas as to what type of subjects I would like to cover, though I sincerely hope that it will be more in the vein of sharing with you, and talking with you than merely words on a computer screen. To that end, I.M. has proposed that I write a “weekly column” and has already asked me to write my first column. I will leave it at this for now, and hope to visit with you again next week.

What Kind of Full Time RV’er are You? Part IV

2011-05-06T23:00:00.001-05:00

I.M. are a hopin' y'all didn't gets the wrong impressionables from yesterday's post and think that if'n someonebody has a big RV mobile, mobile home theys thinkin' theys better than y'all. Most folks that are a livin' this life on the rode are just plaine aw shucks type of folks, but that don't mean there ain't some that do figures theys better. Anyone body that reeds them RV reviews and where the person writin' the review are a puttin' down "permanents' as theys always a seemin' to call them, knows what I.M. are a meanin'. Them folks think there's only one to Rv and it are their way, which are why I.M. hopes they soon becomes our next kind of RVer, the we were's.

The we were’s we don’t run into much, but thems the folks that has parked their mobile, mobile home fer the last time, and are breathin’ a site of relief cause they don’t have to wonder no more what’s around the next bend in the road. Course if they had a piece of junk like old 5th Wheel they’d a been happy to see the next bend in the road cause that would mean they ain’t broke down yet. Some folks become we were's right quick, but most I bins ease into it over a good number of years, a slowly travelin' less each year.

Now like I was a sayin’ in the beginnin’, this is all from the bloggers and the like, plus folks me and Nilda meet along the rodes of life. I.M. thinkin’ of writin’ more on this in the future, maybe a fillin’ you in on what them categories should really be. Cause you may think you know what full time RV classification you fall into, but it takes a writin’ genius like I.M. to help you understand what it are you really are even though y’all don’t think ya are. As always, I.M.unhesitatingly helpin' the unfortunately unknowledgeable unwittingly understand the unintentionally unknowable.

Ifnheels, The RV Series 004

2011-05-05T23:00:00.001-05:00

Havin’ left the dreamers stage behind we move on to the next great step for full time mobile, mobile home kind of person, the ifnheel. Now understands that we ain’t actually at the stage of bein’ a full time mobile, mobile RV full timer, but then a baby has gots to do a little wobblin’ and a toddlin’ afore it gets to runnin’ fer its ownself.

If’n y’all were to take a poll on who it are that are a wantin’ to take up this full time lifestye the results would like as not be a surprise to yer preconvinced notions. Fer the sake of this here dessertation I.M. are about to pounce upon you unsuspectin’ reeders, it will be limited to them folks that has been married fer a quite some time. Howsoever, ifnheels can come in lots of different variations, so don’t be all that surprised if’n y’all see someonebody yer a knowin’ in these writin’s.

Takin’ up directly from the RV Dream stage, it don’t take long afore you will encounter the first road block, and you will notate how I.M. are able to weave many things that the future full timer are likely to run into in to his narration of all this. Now to reach this here point you were a workin’ hard for most of yer life, a puttin’ in some hours that were sometimes a feelin’ like they was more than the actual hours in a day. That dream were to throw all that to the fore winds and ride the wave off onto the sunrise.

Y’all had enough of them bawlin’ babies and wild teen agers, the cookin’ the bakin’ and the never endin’ laundry. On them vacations or weekend camper outings you had, you was a workin’ just as hard as you normally did. So now you was lookin’ forward to a real vacation, a permanent vacation called retirement when the workload would be shared between the two of you. That where when that roadblock I.M. had a illusioned to is likely to come up, the ifnheel. And in the next part of this two part discussion, we will explore this strange critter, and the possibility of using a 2x4 to cure what are ailin’ him.

What Kind of Full Time RV’er are You? Part III

2011-05-04T23:00:00.000-05:00

I.M knows he kind of left all y’all a might bit broken up’ yesterday, but unfortunately that are the way the walnut hull sometimes cracks. Howsoever with the extra time to write, this here post were expansioned to include never here before unseen data of the type only I.M. can provide, and with that, we will pump that tire back up and take off from where I.M. left off yesterday, which were that we was gonna be discussin’ the I bins.

It are the I bins that me and Nilda see the mostly of, whenever Ol’ 5th Wheel runs long enough to get to an RV park without breakin’ down, which ain’t very often, let I.M. tell you. You can usually tell these I bins cause they got some map a showin’ on their mobile, mobile home thats got all these colored things a coverin’ up all the places where the states of these here United States is a supposed to be. Fact is that some of them also tries to hide parts of Canada, mostly I.M. are thinkin’ cause that’s a might easier since them patches is so big they put on that country up there, so each one covers up a lot more. All of which makes it look like y’all been to a while lot more places than ya actually been.

This I bins tend to be right friendly folks, tellin’ ya all kinds of things ya really didn’t either need to know nor want to know, and all that about folks you’d be most likely to never meet or places you’ll probably never see. Now before you think all these folks is like that, lots of them is right regular folks like me and Nilda, whose one of them ourownselves. It’s some kind of badge of honor for them I bins to say that they been a doing this full time thing longer than whosoever they is a talkin’ to at the moment. Though with me and Nilda always a worryin’ about where to get parts for Ol’ 5th Wheel and the like, we leave the, we’s better than you jabber, to them fellers in the gaudy big mobile, mobile homes that’s main purpose in life is to act like their better than all we'alls even though they ain’t.

What Kind of Full Time RV’er are You? Part II

2011-05-03T23:00:00.002-05:00

Now I figure there are a lot of you folks out there that totally understand what all them words and phrases mean, but this here suppository is bein’ writ' for them that’s not very familiarity with what them things mean, leavin’ it for someone like I.M. who has such a ponderous way with words, to help ‘em find their way through that jumble. With that in mind, lets get out that telescope and take a much closer and more magnificent look at someof them folks, startin' with the wanna bee.

Talkin' to the uniformed, a wanna bee are a buzzin’ around proclaimin’ to anyone that will listen that they wants to be one of them full timers some day. But them folks ain't just full of hot air, but has many of the triats of the worker bee. So just how are a gonna bee, more like a worker bee? Maily cause it are a making a beeline for the full time way of livin, a sellin’ things right and left while a droolin’ over them mobile, mobile homes.

On the other hand, the joinin’ ya’s has already sold off or give away all their worldly processions, and are in the process of takin’ delivery of one of them mobile, mobile homes that a shiny shoe'd salesman connived them into believin’ that it were exactly what all the folks a doin the same thing as them were a buyin’, even though it was a sittin’ on his lot collectin’ dust for a couple of years.

So’s I.M. don’t overwhelms the empty headed minds of the folks this in-depth discussion are endangerin’, I.M. well be given yer over worked brain a nights rest and will be publicating more on this subject tomorrow. I.M. knowing yer probably so anxious to reed it you won’t be able to sleep, but that are just the way the tire goes flat. :)

What Kind of Full Time RV’er are You? Part I

2011-05-02T23:00:00.001-05:00

One of the most importantest services that I.M. can provide to the RV mobile, mobile home world are to help them understands just what it are that theys gettin' into. Then theres the ones that are already a doin' it but might be confusioned what with all there is to know. I.M. thinkin' that keepin' it simple are somethin' that no onebody else can do as simple as I.M. can, with that, here are something simple, for the simple, by the simple.

When you first hears that siren call that’s a luring you into the world of the mobile, mobile home life, all you can think of is how wonderful it are gonna be. There are freedom. There are open roads. There are campfires every night. There are no more goin’ to work. There are no more lawn mowin’. There are lots of golfin', leastaways if'n ya can get some other folks to pay for yer a doin' it. That list goes on and on, though mostly in yer ownselfs mind. Now I.M. don’t want to abuse ya of the notion that it ain’t what it are cracked up to be, but it ain’t.

The main reason bein’ that there are more than one type of person a lookin’ at leapin’ into this here life or, puttin’ it another way, jumpin’ head first into a bayou that’s plum full of polar bears. Simplified as only I.M. can do it, y’all got to be askin’ yerownself if when you look out into that swamp that are the fulltime RV mobile, mobile lifestye, do I see swamp creatures or polar bears? But it are even worser than that, on account of the fact that most folks don’t even see the swamp, instead they sees a grand sunset over a wonderful lake.

During the prodigal amount of research I.M. does to write this here blog better and hopefully pick up another reader or two, I.M. comes across a whole bunch of the them bloggers fellers, plus just plain folks in them campgrounds that is talkin’ bout wanna bees, gonna bees, and I’m a joinin’ ya’s. Then there’s the I bin’s and we were’s which are usually spokened of with a tear in the eye, or a shake of the head followed by some remark by the person talkin’ that they just don’t understands how the person they’s talkin’ bout could give up this here wonderful life on the road and go back to livin’ their old way. And tomorrow we are gonna be takin' a look at these folks under a telescope.

Still More FAQ’s

2011-05-01T23:00:00.001-05:00

I.M has become more and more awares that most folks has a real hunger fer informations about this RV mobile, mobile home lifestye that I.M. knows so much more about than nearly anyone else a writtin’ blogs these days. That were why when he were a realizin’ just how good his blog were recently, he had the briefest thought of abandonin’ what he were a doin’ and a takin’ up the fulltime writer feller life in the big city. The lure of all that money were there, but then he couldn’t be out a livin’ the mobile, mobile life as he would have to be doin’ librarianing and other researches all the time.

Thus I.M. are a goin’ to be continually doin’ what I.M. does best, effortlessly and enigmatically enhancing the education of everybody when it comes to the the RV mobile, mobile home way of livin’. With that in mind, the 001 Series will be continuing with the kind of information you would only be getting’ at them rallys and such where y’all has to pay money fer what yer gonna be getting’ free from here. And in conjecture with that, I.M. are also gonna be continuationing with them FAQ’s that can give y’all the answers to the more exclusive questions that can pop into yer minds on occasion, assumin’ y’all got the kind of mind things can pop into, that are.

Because of our financial situation we need to work while on the road, what kind of jobs can you suggest?

The best one that comes to mind are as flagger on road projects. That are definitely a on the road job. You mostly get to stand around and do nothin’ most of the day, which are most like what y’all were a doin’ before, what with wanting to find a job workin’ on the road once you take up the mobile, mobile life. You might also want to check out bein’ a parkin’ meter ticket writer, but then they usually stands on the side walk when they write the ticket, so it ain’t a real on the road job.

Y’all keep sendin’ ‘em in and I.M. will keep answerin’ ‘em. Course ain’t nobodies sendin’ any questions in, but that are okay as I.M has gots more answers than y’all gots questions anyways.

Lem Springs His Trap

2011-04-30T23:00:00.001-05:00

With the plan all figured out, they headed back to that camperfire ring where all them folks was a circled. The plan were fer both Lem and Clara Belle to join in with the circle, but unfortunately there were only room fer Lem which left Clara Belle out in the cold in more ways than one. Pretty soon a couple of the younger kids come up and started telling jokes, then a couple of more started doin’ skits and all them folks were a laughin’ so as to bust a gut, of which there were some large ones present. That were when Lem disguised his voice and says, Say would you kids like something to eat or drink? To which they says Sure! So Lem takes the bowl of chips sittin’ near him and hands it to to his youngest, which got the free food and drinks ball, a rollin’. :)

It weren’t long afore them women were a headin’ back to their trailers and RV’s fer more food and drink, all of which them kids managed to grab up afore them folks a sittin’ around the fire could. This went on fer quite some time, and at last them kids just naturally started driftin’ off, their bellies full, a leavin’ Lem and Clara Belle to do some visitin’. Everybody said that were some of the best, if not the best entertainment they had ever had, but they just didn’t recognize any of them kids. A might bit later, Lem and Clara headed back to where they was stayin’ and where all them young’uns of theirs were a laughing at how easy it were to get all that free food.

I.M. heard that when Lem were asked what his secret was to git all them folks to provide all that free food, he just smiled and said, once folks see someone chippin’ in, they is like as not to follow and also chip in, even if they ain’t gonna get nothin’ out of it but a few laughs. Laughs which is really directed at them by everybody a standin’ and a watchin’ the goin’s ons. It’s just that them folks sittin’ round the campfire don’t know it.

Cousin Lem’s Travels.

2011-04-29T23:00:00.000-05:00

Just in case yer a wonderin’, I.M. has gots a wastepaperbasket full of them dispatches from the front that cousin Lem was a sendin’ in, particually from that there rally he unexpectedly found hisownself, Clara Belle herownself and that horde of young’us themownselves, attending. Though mabe it were more like a moochin’ and learnin’ the full time mobile, mobile home lifestye than attendin’ fer Lem. Course now that Lem has had a chance to do some more observationing at campergrounds with folks that knows what they is actually doin’ and has also been a talkin’ to I.M., he is lookin’ at them goin’s on a little differently. But this here post ain’t about them things, it are how Lem are applicationing the things he learned at the foot of the master, as he is a puttin’ it.

Life are really lookin’ up fer Lem since that night and he has not had to pay fer a single meal at a restaurant since then. Likewise he are also getting’ his ownself invitationed to eat at more folks home places than a salesman givin’ out free possum traps in exchange fer a meal up on the gulch. Lem, as he now likes to be called, him droppin’ the mealmooch moniker cause that meal moochin’ king feller told him he gets even more mooched meals when he don’t brag it up as much. Plus Lem are actually considerin’ writin’ a book on his new found way to financial freedom. :)

Take that first free meal he got fer them young’uns. Them kids was out and about, raisin’ some folks hackles, but getting’ cackles from others at that rally. That were when Lem got the idea of them kids entertaining the cacklers, and also utilizin' what he had just learned to get some free food. With that Lem called them all around and discussioned what they was to do. Now with the genes them young’uns inherited, Lem havin’ been able to pass his sixth grade equivalency diploma test two years ago, and Clara Belle’s being a Plus size 34 they has got the brain and brawn departments well covered.

Fulltime Rving, Dreamers, 003

2011-04-28T23:00:00.000-05:00

If your a startin' here and not with the first post in this series like most folks would, you are totally confusioned. If you started with the first post in this series, you may be some confusioned about this fulltime lifestye, but also has got most of the basics of the terminologicals you’ll be a learnin’ about fulltiming. Buildin’ on the baseless we have established to this point, with this post we will get into the greenest of the green, newest of the new, and the dumbest of the dumb, the RV Dreamer folks. :)
Everyone of us starts out as a Dreamer, ain’t no skippin’ this level on the road to the fulltime lifestye as there is with some of them others steps on the path you’ll be a taken, but using the write tools can get you passed it right quick like and onto knowin’ if it is what ya wants to do or not. The key here is not to get caught up in what everyone and everybody, specially thems that in it, will be tryin to tell ya. Ya just got to chop away at it and lets them chips fall where they may.
“So how do you chip away at it ya ask"? which is a literaturary devise I learned in them writtin' lessons, but it works just as good here as it does in the beauty palor women stories. First ya got to recognition it fer what it is. This is one of them wakin’ dream kind of dreams, not them night time kind of dreams. I ain’t never talked to nobody that dreamed of this fulltime lifestye at night, and I know you ain’t neither, which is why all them "Dreams Explained", books ain’t no good for learnin about the delicacies of fulltiming.
These here fulltime lifestye dreams don’t just pop up out of the air, they comes from somethin’ you saw, read or herd. Problem being ya didn’t sea, reed, or here the hole story, but just a tiny snip, which means you don’t know nuthin’ about it other than ya know ya wants to do it. Course ya don’t know ya don’t know nothin, otherwise ya wouldn’t be an RV dreamer. So what we must do is to help you recognise when you are afflictioned with this status of the fulltime lifestye and help ya move on to the next level.
Now that you recognition that you is one of them dreamers, its time to move on as fast as possible, either going back to yer former lifestye, or takin’ the next step down the rode to the fulltime mobile, mobile home lifestye. Two problems can occult at this point, you find you stay a dreamin’ here the rest of yer days, or you might fall in with them culls, both of which means you is stuck in one of them so called time wraps, like in the science friction movies.
That’s why me and Nilda's blog is called RV-Dreamers, which means it catches the eye of any dreamers out their and provides them with a way of seeing what they was missin’ weather they was stuck in one of them time wraps or just was a doin’ dreamin’, which means they was not doin’ any doin’. Sheesh.
Dreams ain’t bad, but if they are the only way you is a gonna be a livin’, you is missin’ out on a bunch of the fulltime lifestye by not a joinin’ us that’s here a livin' it already. Else you lettin’ yer pinin’ for the fulltime lifestye occupate all yer time. All of which again means, you ain't livin' yer just a dreamin'.
Think of it as lighting a stick of dynamite and runnin' fer all yer worth, or a lighting it and just a standing there to have all yer cares a took care of fer ya, while ya enjoy yer brief moment of happiness. Next time we will be a lookin’ at the first steps ya take after yer done dreamin’ and ready to start a doin’.

Beauty Parlor Humor

2011-04-27T23:00:00.007-05:00

“Yes I would.”

After mentioning that it might be a good idea fer Nilda to do a little writin’ fer me and Nilda’s blog, especially since there is a whole lot more of the me a writin’ than there is Nilda, I.M. put a note on her desk a askin’ just that. And just as I.M. suspicioned she might, she wrote for the blog today, which I.M. has posted above. It were a little shorter than I.M. had hoped, and I.M. were a thinkin’ that if Nilda were to write I.M. would not have to write. Now I.M. thinkin’ that maybe the question should be rephrased and resubmittaled to Nilda, which I.M. will do, but for now, back to the subject of today’s post.

RV dreamers, wannabee’s, gonnabe’s, newbies, parttimers, extended travelers, fulltimers and usedtobe’s make up the RVing world, so which are you? That headline on the front of a RV magazine caught Nilda’s eye at the beauty parlor, so she brung it home fer me to study up on. Now afore I get into some deposition on what that article were all about, it’s probably best to bring you up to date on what other things happened at the beauty parlor while I.M. has not been writin’ about them beauty palor adventures like he once did.

I.M. are always amazed at the stories that Nilda picks up at them there beautification places she are always a findin’ no matter where our travails are a taken us. Take this one that she said a lady told here about somebody that they knowed that lived near the place where the followin’ happened.

Now I.M. are not privy to all that had taken place afore this here stuff took place, but if’n y’all gots any imaginary at all, I.M. sure yer more than able to fill in the leftovers. It are also rather inducitive of just what kinds of folks we has got gittin’ into the fulltime RV mobile, mobile home world these days. I ain’t sayin’ we are down to the bottom of the coffee pot, but it might be the amount of coffee left in the pot are a little on the low side.

Anyways, as Nilda. heard it being told, near as I.M. can recall, there was this couple who were just a hankerin’ to take up the life on the mobile, mobile home road, and just couldn’t wait to get goin’. Or leastaways they couldn’t wait to get their house all cleaned out and fixed up fer whosoever were a gonna be livin’ in it next.

Now while they was just ordinary folks, they did enjoy the life they was a livin’ and it were on account of that they was a havin’ to do some fixin’ up as well as cleanin’ up.The biggest problem were them Friday night movie parties they’d been havin’ fer years. As part of that, and to make it more realistical, they had bought one of them imported Italian popcorn machines. It worked great, a makin’ popcorn night after night, all buttery with lots of salt and all, but it bein’ made to run on Italian electricity, every once in while it would take a too big of a bite of American electricity and commence with the worst case of burpin’ and belchin’ you’d never ever want to see.

The gal a tellin’ the story said that to keep the mess confined, them ladies moved that Italian popcorn machine into an unused bathroom. Problem is that now with them fixin’ it up to sell the house, there is popcorn a plastered all over that there bathroom ceiling. As it were told, the lady a cleanin’ that popcorn up was a sayin’ that fer the next couple of weeks everybody she met in town was a askin’ her where she got the shampoo, deoderant, or perfume that smelt like popcorn. I.M. thinkin’ that maybe, these folks comin’ into this full time mobile, mobile home lifestye today ain’t exactly knowin’ what to do, but it do look like they is goinna smell good while learnin’ what they don’t know.

So if’n yer ever at a camperground where there are a couple of ladies in a Holiday Rambler type trailer that smells like popcorn, y’all just might stop by on Friday night fer some of that Italian type popcorn and a movie, howsoever, just make sure y’all don’t try to use the bathroom.

RV Dreamers Beginning Blogger Help

2011-04-26T23:00:00.000-05:00

It has been a long time since I.M. took that “All You Want to Know About Blogging and More” course that got I.M. a started on this road to bein’ a member of the RV bloggin’ community. Bein’ as sharp as I.M. were, it weren’t not long before folks were a sayin’ that I.M. should be a givin’ hisownselfs course on bloggerin’, he were so good at it. Bein’ the humble feller that I.M., it ain’t easy to accept such accolades as them. And I.M. would also be leaving something out by not saying that Nilda has had as much to do with I.M.’s blossoming as he hisownself has had.

Nilda should really be the one a writin’ this help sheet, she bein so much betterer than I.M. at writin’ and all, but even with knowin’ that my legions of reeders want Nilda to write as much or more than they does I.M., that are not what are not gonna happen in this here instants. Nilda is a wantin’ to write some more about herownself and how she come to be who she are and then how she come to meet I.M. and the adventurers me and Nilda had as we hit all them washouts, bridges out and detours on the road to becoming a couple. Hopefully I.M. can connive her into overcoming her shyfulness and write a post or two, or three or four or more. That last sentence sure did show I.M. has got the natural talent fer writin’ didn’t it not.

Nilda’s writin’s howsoever are gonna have to wait until a later date as I.M. has to be a teachin’ y’all the ins and outs of the professional way of writin’ that he has immersioned hisownself in. Thus lettuce proceed to educate y’all on what it takes to write a world class blog such as yer a reedin.

So there y’all is, one of them blog dreamers, a wishin’ to write like the best but yer not a knowin’ where to start. Howsoever, chances are yer already started and just don’t know nothin’ about it. That are what are so great about no nothings, there are so much emptiness there, that anything they puts into it are gonna help fill it up. Yer first assignment are not to do what you think y’all should be doin’ which are to write, no it are not, it are to read.

Now put yer thinkering caps on fer a moment, and think what might happen if I.M. were to tell you the first lesson were to write about about what ever it where that comes into yer head, and that there will be yer first blog article. Suppose that were the same moment a bird decided to make a deposit on yer windshield and that were what were on yer mind.

Problem being that yer next thought are not to write about that, but to write about something else, since yer thinkin’ there ain’t gonna be much interest in such a crappy subject as that. Now you got a problem, cause yer mind are now blank, just as that computer screen are. Now ya got a blank screen in front of ya, and another yer mind, and wth these nobodys interested problem on what yer thinkin’ of writin’, yer still asittin’ there not writin’ nothin’. This can go on fer ever and by the end of the day, that blank screen are still there and yer a moanin’ about havin’ writers block when y’all ain’t even a writer, yer just an empty mind.

Hopefully this and the on rushin’ torment of words I.M. will pouring out on this subject will help ya become the writer that yer a wantin’ to be, even if the world ain’t ready for it. And I.M. will be a askin' Nilda if'n she'd like to pen a few words or so herownself.

Cousin Fay of the North

2011-04-25T23:00:00.000-05:00

Followin' along in the footsteps of the bragography I wrote some time back about my cousin Mick, I.M. were a thinkin' that y'all might just be interested in hearin' about another of my cousins, Fay Veranda, who are also into this full time mobile, mobile home lifestye. Ours are a mighty big family, what with it a bein' spread out all over, and of course after herein' me tell of Mick, ya knows some of them are a certainly more the spread out than others.

Fay Veranda ain't from the spread out branches of the family, though she are, as I heard it bein' told at the family reunions when I were younger, from a branch that took a leaf from the page of the book of life and hearin' the revenuers a beatin' down the back door durin' that proinhibition time back in the '20s, decided that there were more freedom to be found in the family business north of the border than south of it.

Most all of what I knows come from them different reunions, a sittin' their listenin' to the old timers a spinnin' tails and a lowlightin' the family history, what there were that were worth tellin' about. So acceptin' what I heard as unreasonably close to the truth, at least maybe in some instantces, that branch got into some opportunities which proved to be not quite as bountifulish as they had thought. Though as long as the proinhibition thing were a going, they kept thinkin' lightning were gonna strike, but it never did.

Uncle Cornelius was always a sayin' that were because they got there borders mixed up. Seems they'd been told that they could make a ton of money by cartin' the same thing they'd been a distillin' up near the Gulch, acrost the border. Accordian to what I heard tell, they gots their borders mixed up and ended up buyin' it fer more and a sellin' it fer less. The end result bein' that once that proinhibition thing were over they didn't have enough money to move back to the states, so they just stayed.

That were some background to let ya understand how there got to be a branch of my family in Canada. Now bringin' ya up to the present, Fay Veranda, who got that name on accounts of her bing born on the porch of the family home, and her Pa, after hearin' bout them big houses of the southern branch of the family with their veranda's and all, just figured he'd give Fay a family name. Though fer the life of me I can't figure out what veranda has got to do with us Vayne's, none of us ever havin' a house big enough fer one of them things.

From what I understands, Fay has been stuck with the same wonderlust fer the mobile, mobile home life that me and Nilda has. Accordin' to cousin Billy Ray, the one that is Uncle Jubal's son to keep him separate from the other Billy Ray cousins of mine, Fay is a travelin' round the countryside in a mobile, mobile home named after herownself, which is Veranda. So her standin' on its steps is a Veranda on a Veranda.

I hopes to be able to find out more about this here adventureus cousin and report it to you, either from first hand word of mouth from her, or from some of them cousin's I's got scattered around the distant lands of this here country. Thinkin' that I should come up with a catchy description fer that knowledge, if I learn anythin' bout her, I will be a writin' bout it under the headin' of: Travelin' with Verandas.

More RV-Dreamers FAQ’s for the Fulltime Lifestye

2011-04-24T23:00:00.001-05:00

Here are more FAQ’s from the one source that helps RV Dreamers interrupt their dreams and see what their new lifestye is really, truly going to be like.

Is Passport America a want or a need?

Is this one of them trick questions like they ask when the feller is just about to win the $64,000 question, but all they got is $32,000 in the bank? I figure it ain't, so if its the kind of passport ya need to get in and out of the US, and you find you need it but aint got it, the onliest need you'll be a thinkin' of is, I need a good lawyer, and right now. Then theirs the other kind of passport, the one you use if you want to save money at crampgrounds and such. About it, if ya want to save money, then you'll want it. See how easy it is fer a smart feller like me to separate out wants and needs.

Which is better, AAA or Good Sam ERS?

Now if'n yer one of the Jamison's, and I.M. glad I didn't marry into that family, you know AAA cause it comes first in the phonebook when yer in jail and looking fer the first bail bondsman you can find. I ain't sure about Good Sam, I knows Good Grief, Good Gracious and Good Riddance, so I did a little lookin' and found that it were something to do with the Inffinity Group. Now from what I knows about inffinity it ain't got no beginnin' nor end, so I don't think they knowed what they was a talkin' about when they come up with that group stuff.

Sounds like they want to be all things to all people which makes them right next to God. Some feller told me that there Inffinity Good Sam place was where all them TV preachers got there learnin' bout wantin' to send ya something so you'll be a sendin' them money, but just what that's got to due with living the mobile, mobile home life is beyond me. As far as them ERS go, most folks up on the gulch found they could get good reception with just rabbit ears. If you need better resuscitation, theirs all kinds of roof monumented anteaters out they're you can use. Sorry for the long answer, now you can see why I don't like them questions on two or three subjects at a time.

My toilet tank sensor is broken, should I be worried?

This one reelly confusioned me till I got my mind wrapped around it the write way. You see, I just couldn't phantom how your sensor could be broke. Then I recollected how old granny Grundalot was always a having to take something to get her movements a movin, meanin' she sat a lot with nothin' droppin' out so to speak. Now if you was a sittin' on the pot fer that long maybe you lost all feelin' in yer butt, meaning that when something did drop out you wouldn't feel no backsplash on your sensor while a settin' their. So the answer is simple. Drink a quart of prune juice a day and yer tank sensor will operate just fine. I guess some folks is just naturally dense when it comes to these things.

I.M. getting a new tow truck and 5th wheel, is a short bed or long bed best?

That is a good question, and one that has many folks so puzzled they spend a lot of time talking to mobile, mobile, home salesmen, other fulltimers and even truck salesmen about it, even though them truck saleswomen likely don't got a clue as to the answer. With me bein' tall and Nilda short, we had to get a long bed which fit very nicely in Ol' 5th Wheel, once I sawed a foot or so off it, of course. So the answer depends on weather you are of different highnesses and what floorpain you are a gettin, or has got in yer mobile, mobile home, if you ain't buyin' new. Glad to see their is at least one intelligent person out there in the mobile, mobile home life with a real world question.

Feller Ships

2011-04-23T23:00:00.001-05:00

Back, years ago, when me and Nilda first took up this here mobile, mobile home lifestye, we turned Ol’ 5th Wheel to the west so we could experience some of the country we had never scene, and with Ol' 5th Wheel a breakin’ down so often, weren’t none of that seenery exactly flyin' by. Later we finally got way out west where things looked mighty different, and if you ain’t never been to Bever Dam, Rockport, Central City and Powder City, you sure got an eyeful of natural beauty in store fer you someday.

Then we just kept on a travelin’ for months and almost afore we knowed it, we was to the place where Kentucky, Illinios and Missouri all come together. I knowed folks would be a trying to tease me, askin’ if we saw what all them tourists went to Cairo to see, but no matter where we looked, we never did see any of them syrup factories they is supposed to be so famous fer. I guess I’ll just have to fool them fellers tryin to get a laugh around them campfires, and when they ask me if I saw what Cairo is supposed to have, I'll say I sure did, meanin' the joke will be on them. See, even years afore I started writtin’ this here blog, my brain was a lot smarter than most folks a livin’ this way.

Funny how you can take a detour thru some syrup factories on the way to talkin’ about feller ships, but that’s the way of many out here on the fulltime road. Much further into our trip, I believe it were after that fourth transmission repair in five weeks, we started seein’ the most unusual sights a body could see. It were when we was out in the middle of dessert country, there not being much of anything a growin’ and if it did, it were something that jabbed ya, stabbed ya, or stuck to ya in such a way that a team of mules would have had to of pulled fer an hour to yank it out.

Mixed in amongst all this was somethin' that were puzzlating to us. Which were, how’s come there was all these here ships out in the middle of the dessert belonging to these fellers with names like me and Nilda had never run into afore. You’ll have to excuse me fer not askin’ Nilda about them, especially since she had the map and them books we was a follerin'. The ones that kept tellin’ us to stop at Mysterious Trees and Mysterious Hills, and Mysterious Houses, all of which had the same lookin’ feller out front a tryin’ his best to get you to pay to see his Mysterious whatever. Havin’ scene that Mystery Theater 3000 a time or too on the TV, I weren’t havin’ none of it.

Sorry I got away from them fellers with ships, but we’ve had so many things happen to us since we joined in the fulltime mobile, mobile life, I.M. gets mixed up every once in a short while. So there we was, right in the middle of the dessert and I starts seeing these signs them fellers was puttin’ out about there ships. Nilda and me weren't pure pigeons about this boater thing, what with my studyin’ up to help that city feller in the Keys, I knowed folks usually put the name of they’re boat on the starboard end and not out in front of it.

I tried to keep track of them and there was: Oak Tree Fellowship, Riverview Fellowship, Grace Fellowship, Community Fellowship, which might have been one of them party boats, Faith Fellowship, Victory Fellowship, maybe it was a racin’ boat, Champion’s Fellowship, which might be the feller that won all them races, St. Mark’s Fellowship, St Luke’s Fellowship, which was more confusioning cause I thought them boats were a supposed to be named after women amd not men. And then there was Refiners Fire Fellowship, which must have been the only thing left when the refinery burned down, cause there were no sign of a refinery anywhere.

The only other thing I could think of were that dessert was really an old beach, what with all the sand there and all, and with all the water long gone, all these ships was beached high and dry, and so the fellers that owned these ships had all put these big signs out in front callin’ attention to them so that anyone drivin' by, that wanted a boat would know where to look. That’s one of the joys of travelin’ down the roads in this life of freedom we live, we get an insight into the lives of some of the really weird folks that live out there. Though I never did figure out why they was only open on Sunday mornin's and Wednesday evenin's. Just it were just one of the mysterys of life.

Best Blogs

2011-04-22T23:00:00.002-05:00

Nilda was a watchin’ that Musican Man movie the other nite while I.M. were a toilin’ away at my blog writin’, by way of researchin' the internet, when I.M. come up upon the weirdest blog ever see’d by all hummuskind since it’s beginning’s. Now as one fulltime mobile, mobile home person two another, you and me both knows that the two keys to this here lifestye can be summed up in just two words. And them two things are what most of us is a doin’ most of the time, mostly. :)
Nilda dragged me a way from the exasperation at what I.M. were a seein’ and a reedin’ about them Best Blogs, with a comment about just how much she liked that there musican man's music, which were a sort of a challenge to me. But then it got me to thinkin’, not that I ain’t unusually thinkin, cause as any reader of this here blog knows, I.M. is so shot full of thoughts, and a hole lot more, that there ain’t hardly blog space to holed them all. The result of Nilda a thowin’ down the guantlet like she did, was what got I.M. to thinkin’ bout howsoever much of his brain do it take to write one of them there best blogs .
I knows my cousin’s is all a goin’ moonie over the cleaver way I hack thru the jugle of the bloggin’ world to expose this Best Blog blot, leastaways they would if’n they understands any of my writn’. While the remainder of my reeders is a probably wonderin’ if with a brain sharp as I.M. hasn’t got, are I.M. a gonna be givin’ up this here blog life him havin’ the unacknowledged Best Blog, and be a headin’ to the big city to use my writin’ abilitys too make me and Nilda even more rich than we is now.
I always knowed I.M. had talent, but it just couldn’t find the outlet it were a a seekin’. When we’d have a dance up on the Gulch, I.M. could make a fiddle do things such that whenever I.M. gots up to play, it weren’t long afore all them folks would get so teary eyed at my playin’, they’s all would have to go outside till I.M. were done, even if it were a rainin’ ticks and field mice. Seemed my singin’ were the same, and at the sound of my voice a singin’ one of them love mell-load-ees I favored in my singin’ reparatoire the same thing would happen. First the womenfolk, soon to be follered by the menfolk, would commiserate to a groanin’ and a hollerin’ out of the shear rapture of the moment as it were.
Their sounds would git so loud that my singin’ could no longer be heard above them, the sound of which continued until I were a done singing. Many a person has told me that one of the things I has missed out most in life, is not to be able to be on the hearin’ end instead of the producin’ end when I is a playin’ or a singin’. Shucks, I gets so much pleasure out of givin’ them folks all there own pleasure, that it are ok with me. :)
Looks like I been so busy a braggin’ mineownself up the way all them other folks is always a doin’, that I let my words get a way from me again. Howsoever, knowing that you has really gotted a lot out of what I has writ today, and knowing that you is a hungerin’ fer more, I will be a writtin’ on them Best Blogs again in the future.
And upon further resuscitating on the matter, I ain’t a gonna be chargin’ off to the big city to sell my writin’ rites and become a famous word wright. I’ll be write here, a rightin’ this blog to help you live the mobile, mobile lifestye the right way, which I know will make y’all so happy yer probably got tears a buildin’ up in yer eye’s and a moanin’ and a groanin' like my fiddlin’ and singin’ fans. I.M. glad to make yer day so special.

Fulltime RVing Types, The Basics, 002

2011-04-21T23:00:00.000-05:00

This is the first in a seieus of posts to help them that can’t help themselves and need someone else to do it for them. Seems like most folks descide to become a fulltime mobile, mobile home person afore they know what it is to be a fulltimer in the first place. Which is why there is so many foreims, websights, and such that’s got either all kinds of questions on them from know nothing’s, or is loaded up with information designed to make money for the websight owner while partin’ the know nothings from their money.

There’s a hole lot of them folks out there, on both sides of that coin, including some that has became almost a cull. I’ll leave all that for the future, since with this blog post you is startin’ at the very bottom of the manure pile so to speak. Them other sights start out a figuring you is already a havin’ all kinds o dreams about fulltiming and right off they ask and answer such things as: “What is fulltiming?”, or “Is fulltiming for you?" On this sight we figure if you knowed that much ya wouldn’t be a askin’ the questions I see folks askin' on them sights and foreims, so we are beginnin’ long afore where those sights begin in disgusting about the fulltime lifestye.

Even so, I.M. starting with the description of a fulltimer, which is just that. Think about it. If you were a part timer would you call yerself a fulltimer. If you was a vacationor, would you call yerself, a full timer. Does a feller changin’ his own tire hisownself call himself a mechanick, how about if yer wife pumps her own gas, is she a macanick? Lordy, no so why would anyone need to start out with the definition of what fulltimer were, other than they is just trying to fill them empty headed folks with something that makes them think that blog/websight is knowledgeable about this fulltime life

So takin’ up the curmudgeon that has been throwed down afore us, we commiserate this series with the first part of: Mobile, Mobile Home Life, The Hole Story; I.M. fillin’ yer mind with all he knows; Descriptions of them that don't’ know what they is.

I.M. starting off by listin’ them out, then we will take each by its ownself and go into deep detales bout the in’s, out’s, up’s downs, and what’s often left out, know as an outie, by them other so called x-spurts in the fulltime lifestye.

Dreamers
Ifnsheels
Iffnheels
Wantstas
Newlies
Imas
Ustas

Any of youin’s that is already a livin’ the fulltime mobile, mobile home lifestye will immeliorately recognize that list. For you folks that's below the Ustas and the Imas, I.M. a goin' to get ya wright educationed in all these words so that when yer a settin’ around yer first fulltime campfire you won’t be an idiot like I were afore I learned all this. Think of it like the Kung Flu Grand Master taking ya under his wing and a passin’ all he knows on to you. So right now yer a grassflopper takin' little bites, but by the time I.M. done you’ll be more like one of the columbinds that eats grain by the field full.

And carryin’ on with that theme, this is more than enough fer yer first lesson as I don’t want to be overwhelmin’ ya with my volumeless knowledge to the point that you gets yerself all confusioned like them folks that are in the culls and such.

RV Dreams Interpreted

2011-04-20T23:00:00.002-05:00

Some time back I.M. had an suppository on RV dreams where in some of what are a causin’ y’all nightmares and the like were explanationed as only I.M. are capable. The response to that post were so underwhelming that I.M. are going to further delve into the world of RV dreams in hopes of effortlessly and enigmatically enhancing the education of everybody,so as to reach the few that were unreached by that there first post.

Today I.M. not going to be going back over that first post. I.M.are not going to be askin’ ya if yer troubled by dreams of RV’s goin’ over cliffs. I.M. not gonna be explain’ the meanin’ of that, and I.M. not gonna be talkin’ bout the fact that it really means yer in downward spiral and can’t keep up with what are goin’ on day by day in yer daily RV mobile, mobile home lifestye.

No, I.M. ain’t gonna do that, what I.M.gonna do are to take a look at the details of them RV dreams y’all are a havin’ and try to give y’all some insights into what them different things in them mean. Lets us just start with the most basics of the basics, y’all just wokened up from a dream that had an RV in it. Now we ain’t concernin’ ourownselves with what kind of RV it were, or what yer a don’ with it, just that it were an RV. What it really means is that yer the biggest and the baddest thing around, and that you got power and prestige, that folks look up to ya even if ya don’t got no money or much brains. See how easy it are to interrupt these her RV dreams.

Now to add a little twist to that RV Dream, supposin’ that there RV were a drivin’ into one of the black holes like they got out there in space. Now yer probably thinkin’ that are a referenced to drivin’ that thing down the road and a a gittin’ lost, which are why y’all gots I.M. here to point you in the right direction. Wrong, what it is a meanin’ are that if’n ya gits one of then RV’s, all the money ya gots is gonna get sucked right out of yer pocket, never to be seen again and yer not gonna have nothin’ to show fer it. See how simple it are.

Now we are gonna deal with what mite be considerationed a delicate subject, but it are something that everybodies whose owned a mobile, mobile home has to face up close and personal, the RV toilet. Which unless yer getting’ one of them million dollar mansions on wheels at gonna work like no toilet ya ever seed afore. Leavin’ the disgusting of RV toilets to another time, there are generally two types of RV toilet dreams. The ones that can be dumped into the toilet category, and the ones that can be tossed into the toilet paper category.

Since I.M. are so flush with knowledge on these things lets talk about RV toilet dreams first. Now y’all make think it are a reminder to dump yer black tank, but that’s why yer the reeder and I.M. the righter. What it reelly means are that yer lettin’ yerself get clogged up with a bunch of negative crap. Ya need to just dump it and get rid of it, even if ya got to squeeze yerself into some place ya don’t want to be to do it.

As far as that toilet paper goes, were it single ply or double ply? Not that it matters but it are interestin’ just how detailed RV dreams can be. What it means is that it are time to clean up after some emotional outburst that has spued some of yer internalized emotional crap all over the place. Just wipe up what are remaining and it won’t be long till all them problems is dissolved, assumin’ it were single ply of course.

As always, I.M. is effortlessly and enigmatically enhancing the education of everybody. And Lavonne, I.M. has not forgetted yer request, plus he are workin’ on answerin’ some of the questions that are appearin’ in the comments to the posts.

Help Writing a RV Blog, Part I

2011-04-19T23:00:00.004-05:00

Since I.M. are the unofficial, official statistical genius fer the RV Dreamers :):):) websight, and the exterminator of the unmitigated success it are havin’ in the RV mobile, mobile home blog world, I.M. thinkin’ maybe it would be of help to others to write about the success formulation that I.M. are followerin’. With so many of the blogs out there it are easy to get very confusioned on which are which, and what which, each are a tryin’ what to be. Helpfully that are where this post will be helpin’ unravel them knots that has the would be blogger not pointed in the right direction.

First off let me say that startin to write one of these here blogs are right easier than a keepin’ on to be writin’ it. In a peanut hull, if you ain’t a word wright, it are hard to write right, but are even harder to keep a writin’ right after that first rush of words has been flung out to the unsuspectin’ masses.

When I.M first started this here blog he were just tryin’ to keep all them multiple branches, forks and dead twigs that are in me and Nilda’s family trees up to date on what was a goin’ on in the mobile, mobile life of one of the smarterest, if not the smartest, cousin they got. What really surprised I.M. were how quickly the Russian branch of them trees tracked us down and started commentarying on I.M. posts. In fact the very first time I.M. posted this blog, I.M. got one of them commentaryings that had something like this “увеличение пениса полового влечения” in it. So I.M. were a thinkin’ it were just one of the Oklahoma cousin’s that dropped out of school the first day and didn’t have no ability with the language liken I.M. do.

I.M. were a showin’ it to Nilda and she gots to laughin’ so hard several of her bust buttons was a being overstrained and it looked like something were about to be poppin’ out that shouldn’t be. When she finally caught her breathe anuff to say something, it were to information me that it weren’t no relation a writin’, at least no American relation, it were Russian, and probaly should have said something like this “Р. Мечтатели это хороший сайт” , but it didn’t. Still I.M. were excitmented that someone were readin’ his blog, and if’n y’all have writ a blog yer probably rememberin’ yer first few commentaryings to.

I.M. has staryed very badly off’n the intended subject, which I.M. gonna get right back to in the near future, but first I.M. has gots to point out that very first commentarying that were actually from an American, which as I.M. were too learn, had to be a distant cousin of mine and Nilda. It were from MeriKay, the words of which won’t be reprinted here, but it were joyful to get some feed back that could actually be read by myownself without askin’ Nilda what part of the world it come from.

Course all things ain’t always what they seam to be, and this were definitely one of them. This MeriKay were a makin’ commentaryings and I.M. didn’t know nothin’ bout her, so it were time to act like that TV investigater feller, Geraldo Revered Vira, or what ever his name were. That were when I learned MeriKay just had to be from one of the long lost branches of the family. I.M. being nice to her cause Nilda said to be, but I really think it weren’t a branch of my family, but rather a dead twig of my family she were from. That are because she are an animal head lady. Yes, it are true, she has surrounded herownself with a bunch of animal heads. All of which goes to show that iff’n ya write the most interestin’ RV blog there are, it will attract the most interestin’ reeders. And fer them other regular commentaryers, just wait, yer day are a coming to. Fer them that's interested, check out MeriKay's blog, and her animal heads, and I.M. are not a pullin' yer leg.

I.M. has been gittin’ some good questions of late, though them postin’ them mite be a might questionable themownselves, and the answers should be forthcomin’ in the near future, soon as I.M. done doin’ all the enormous amounts of research they is requiring. :)

So that are it fer today, and I.M. hopin’ all them writin’ hints were a great help with yer own blog writin’.

More of Yer RV FAQ’s Answered

2011-04-18T23:00:00.000-05:00

As part of our program here at RV-Dreamers to help the unhelpable misunderstand the unknowable, the following is more answers to those Frequently Asked Questions that so often come up in fulltime mobile, mobile home campfire discussions.

Living in Canada, do I need to do anything special to fulltime in cold weather?
I is always a puzzlin' when I read questionables like this. Didn’t ya ever here that sayin', "forwarded is fer foriners". Ya being a foriner and all, a livin' north of the Masonic Nixon line, I'd think you'd already know the answer. In the winter smart folks move south of that Immasonary line, specially the ones from Canada. Or maybe you just recently infiltrated into Canada and ain't learned that everybody up their leaves in the winter. You need to remember that old Canaderien saying, "If the leaves is a leavin', you'd best be a leavin' two.”

I pick it up tomorrow, what is your best tip or advice on pulling my brand new 5th wheel?
Make sure you take at least a pickup truck with you when you go, since I know from the exspearamints of a cousin, a car just ain't a gonna work to pull one of them things a round. Some fellars like them medumb type trucks and then there's the even bigger semi-truck fellers which even I don't know nothin' about, but a lookin' at the typical size of their bellies, they buy them trucks to fit themownselves as much as they're mobile, mobile home. One last peace of advice, make sure that you get that 5th wheel for yer 5th wheel. Cause all of them salesmen will tell ya yer a gettin' 5 wheels, but then keep the one back to make more profit on the sale.

How do I know the air in my tires is correct?
This are about the most dumbliest question I's ever heard. I don't know what planet yer from, but on the one I lives on, air is air. Maybe you got two much of that air, it a havin' replaced yer brain.

What's the best all around cleaner for my new mobile, mobile home?
In my case it's Nilda. As fer you, if'n ya ain't got somebody along with ya, it's good reason to join one of them Lonesomer than you sociable mobile, mobile home groups thats out their. If you see one of them Lonesomers a scrubbin' away on their own mobile, mobile home, thats the one ya want to sit near at the next lonesomers social to check out what other attributts they might have.

What should I put in my new mobile, mobile home?
If'n I were you, which I ain't thank goodness, I' think you yerownself would be one of the first things you'd want to put into it. After that, for most folks it's normally however much you can pile into it too overload it two the point that you just got enough horsepower too get it movin'. As fer stoppin' thats the easy part as most folks just decides to run into something, which works everytime. Ya also might want to put in a bunch of tires, cause yer gonna have to change one every mile or so.

Do I weigh to much?
What a dumb question. You sure you ain't a separated at birth, long lost sister of Billy Bobs Boat and Bait brothers, Dumb and Dumber? The onliest reason you is a even askin' that question in the first place is so we menfolk will smile (to cover up the snicker) and say you look just wright. Not all us men are as stoopid as womenfolk thinks we is. I'll bet you is one of them bottle blondes ain't you?

I.M.is Ready to Get Back to Normal, What Ever That Is

2011-04-17T23:00:00.007-05:00

Fer the past week and a half or so I.M. has been reel busy with doin’ something that only happens on occasion, maybe several times a year or so, and as such has not been able to do all the commentarying on folks blogs that he were accustomed to be a doin’. But now with all that a hind of him and Nilda, he are a gonna be aback reedin’ them there blogs of y’all and a commentarying on them as usual in the next day or so. :)

I.M. has also gots lots of stories to be a writin’ bout that rally that Lem were to, and he may be a using some of that in the future posts on this here website. There are so much a goin’ on in the mobile, mobile home world that I.M. gonna have to be a writin’ on a multitudinous of subjects over the next several weeks or so. I.M. thinkin’ there is a bunch of folks a hungerin’ fer the basics of the mobile. mobile home lifestye to the extent that I.M. is gonna have to double up on his 001 series fer them that don’t know nothin’. :)

It are also apparent that there is a whole big untapped market out there fer what I.M. are a peddlin’, and that the possibility of gittin’ more folks to Tip In, there being such an underwhelming response to date, that I.M. is gonna have to be investin’ more time in the researcherinn’ of his reeders in order to keep providin’ the most current mobile, mobile home info available anywhere at anytime in any form. :)

Not to disappoint his reeders, but I.M. is plum exhaustered from all the goin’s on of the past week and so this are gonna have to be the shortest blog post ever, but be forewarned. I.M. will be back in full force in the next couple of days. Alrighty then, I.M. lookin’ to better days in the near future, mostly cause it can’t get no more worse than it has been. Sheesh.

Is there a RV Rally in I.M.’s Future?

2011-04-16T23:00:00.002-05:00

Now there a couple of things about this here revival that I.M. needin’ to clarification fer y’all. First it should be notationed that all these here dispatches that I.M. has been receivin’ from Lem, which has been greatly editored to make them readable, had been received some time in the past and there were far more of them than I.M. has been able to post. It are hoped that sometime in the not so far and distance future, like tomorrow for example, I.M. will be able to post more on what took place at that shindig they were a havin’.

The second thing were what that revival as I.M. were a callin’ it really were. As it turns out, when Lem went to some of them there seminaries they was a havin’, and about which there has gots to be more written in the future as you will not believe what they were a talkin’ about in them, it turns out that it weren’t no revival, it were a rally, and so a rally are what I.M. will be referencing it as in the future.

As far as what were said at them seminaries, it weren’t nothin’ that any normal folks wouldn’t know by their ownselves either with a little experiences, by asking anyone else at a camperground, or by doin’ a little readin’ them ownselves. The key to them seminaries is to get people to pay you to say them things to them, which are where the real ability comes in. All of which has got I.M. a thinkin’ that with this bein’ such an easy way to be makin’ so money, maybe me and Nilda should be a lookin’ into havin’ our own rally sometime later this year.

I.M. will be investergating the possibilities of this, and seekin’ out those that are a doin’ it and reportin’ to y’all about it. Maybe each of us can have our oueselves a rally and make a bunch of money off them that don’t know they know more than they think they know. Anyways, as I.M. understands it from Lem, it ain’t what they say at them seminaries, it are all the fun them folks have being there with a bunch of other no nothings that are the real reason they go to these rally things. That would sure make it easy fer me and Nilda to have one of these things as we know nothing a whole lot better than most folks know nothing, and I.M. ain’t afraid to say it unlike them other folks that put on them rallies and pretend to know something but since the folks attendin’ don’t know they don’t know nothing since they themownselfs don’t know nothin’, it are okay that there are nothin’ to know at these things.

As Lem said, them folks attending these here rallies are genuine good folks, and the folks a puttin’ them on are a tryin’ their best to make sure everyone has a good time so’s they will attend the next one to make more money fer them that’s puttin’ it on. With all this in mind and after hearin’ that one of them seminaries talked about what toilet paper y’all should be usin’ and another were about what TV to stare at when it are rainin’, I knows I.M. could put one of them things on just as good or even better. After all, the answer to which TV are one that works when plugged in. And as far as toilet paper, I.M. learned early in life that them glossy catalogs don’t wipe worth a crap, so that takes care of the that. That are all fer today, but if I.M. has time to editor Lem’s last post, I.M. will give y’all a wrap-up, or maybe it will be a wipe-up, of the that there rally tomorrow.

And It Gets More Interesting

2011-04-15T23:00:00.002-05:00

This get together that Lem were at and his dispatches from the front has I.M. a sittin’ on the edge of his seat so to speak. I.M. learnin’ so much from Lem attending this shindig that I.M. sure that me and Nilda’s life is going to be better for mealmooch havin’ done what he did.

But it ain’t I.M. y’all are a wantin’ to be hearin’ from, it are Mealmooch II, as Lem took to callin’ hisownself after a learnin’ at the hand of the master. It had been suggestered that Mealmooch write a book bout moochin’ meals, and I.M. thinkin’ I.M. just might have to pass that there iidea on to Lem, makin’ mineownself the ghost writer of that book of course. At the very least Lem and I.M. could collaboration on the definitive method of mealmooch livin’ as learned at the hand of the master for a separate post in this here blog.

There I.M. goes again, a getting’ off the subject at hand which were Lem’s latest dispatch where in he continued reporting’ on the goinn’s on at that there camperground. Later that night there was a big meetin’ type of meetin’ where the folks that don’t known much, but say they do so the ones who know even less think they know somethin’ were introductioned to everbodyone else as experts in what they didn’t know, or at least knew more than the ones that didn’t know nothin’.

All this were lead by that non-preacher, preacher type feller, and accordin’ to Lem, if it weren’t the next best thing to to one of them up on the Gulch revivals, it were the best thing. That feller was a leadin’ that crowd through its paces, a talkin’ about how they was a gonna first be doin’ some kind of ice breaker thing, which most certainly confusioned Lem as much as he were ever confusioned in his own life. First off this place were far from the Arctic and second there surely weren’t no ice on the water, but if that feller were a day dreamin’ bout icebreakers, Lem weren’t a gonna disturb his train of thought, even it were about as far derailed as any train of thought gets.

Once that feller got warmed up the folks a listenin’ to him took the chant up. He’d shout out something like, Alrighty then, we are going be talkin’ emotions and them folks would holler back, Alrighty then. Next he would be a calling out Alrighty then, Packin’ fer fulltimers, and them folks would shout back, Alrighty then. Lem said this went on fer a hole lot of different subjects which he will be talkin’ about in future dispatches.
When that get together finally did break up Lem, exhausted as he were from all the stuffin’ of food in his mouth and pockets, plus them exhortations and actions of the big confab, he asmost walked right by what were one of the gol darndest things Lem ever did see.

Settin’ out there was this big old box with the words, Chip In Box, written on it. Now Lem were more than aware that that there macaroni and cheese were overcooked to the point of a nail, but this did beat all. Lem decided that most of them folks being pilgrims and not hardened to the ways of civilization and had suffered from broken and chipped crowns when they was a chewin’ on that crusty casserole. He figured they had been advised to toss there chipped teeth into that box and that maybe they got a dentist a comin’ later to reattach all them tooth chips them folks lost. You can bet that only a feller as smart as Lem could figure something like that out.

How the RV Revival Began

2011-04-14T23:00:00.004-05:00

Maybe I.M. should try to straighten out a few things afore I.M. posts Lem’s next dispatch from the front. First off, what this thing Lem, Clara Belle and their horde are attending is more than a little confusioning. Lem has referenced it as a revally, which even with my limitations as to knowing big words, don’t match up with nothing I.M. could understand. Howsoever what with the description of that feller that were in charge, it come to I.M. that what Lem were a tryin’ to say were revival, like them travelin’ preacher fellers would have up on the Gulch every spring and fall.

The next thing were that food they had at that get together American meal. I.M. asked Lem bout them jello fingers to get that part clarificated, and Lem said they had that jello in red, green, orange and black, and that last color he took as the result of them mixing all the first three leftover jello colors together. Lem said he tried to take some of the them back to his horde, them young’uns of his likin' to pick up them jello sticks and wiggle them at the younges tryin’ to scare them afore poppin' 'em in their mouths. Problem was they melted in his pocket makin’ quite a mess, though he did see Clara Belle a lickin’ out his pocket after he took his shirt off afore they went to bed that night, her lovin’ jello so much and all.

And now back to our reporter in the field. As Lem tells it, after that dinner where he lived up to his name, mealmooch, he was a circulationing around them folks when he started hearin’ more tales bout this feller that were the king of all mealmoochers. Seems like this feller had perfectioned the ability to mooch meals to the heights that were never attained by mere mortal men or women anywhere before ever, ever, including mealmooch. Now mealmooch reports that instead of being jealous, he were more interested in learnin’ some new techniques if he could, the better to mooch meals fer him, Clara Belle and their brood.

Based on this intelligence, to which mealmooch applied a generous dosage of his own intelligence, or at least howsoever much Lem could summons up, he soon discovered the mealmoocher to beat all mealmoochers was a playin’ poker with the boys were that feller he had already met. Lem playin' the part of the incognito mealmooch, becomes an onlooker feller like a number of them folks standin’ around, and proceeds to do some listenin’ to the conversationing goin’ on.

It weren’t long afore a seat opened up in the game and Lem set down to pick up some pocket change, but more important to learn this mealmoochin’ at the foot of the master. By the time the game were over Lem had his self enough money to get something fer Clara Belle, her having to watch the horde and all, plus enough pointers to keep them in meals for the foreseeable future and beyond.

As he learned the key were to find somebody that were new to this here RV mobile, mobile home way of livin’ in the camperground and strike up a conversationing, mentionin’ in passing that you were some kind of expert in this type of livin’. Then just let one thing lead to another and afore ya knowed it, they would be inviting ya to share a meal with them. Based on that alone, Lem figured he, Clara Belle and the horde could afford to take up the full time RV lifestye. Then he learned that there was goin’ to be all kinds of seminaries in the next days on how to best live the mobile, mobile home life, which he knowed he would be attendin’.

A RV Revival

2011-04-13T23:00:00.005-05:00

I.M. a thinkin’ y’all are a thinkin’ I.M. left you a hangin’ with that last post of Lem’s, but that were all Lem sent on that emale, so in fact Lem had left both me and Nilda a hangin’ just like all y’alls. It were a while until he wrote again, and in the meantime Nilda kinda took me under her wing as she told me, which considerin’ what a mite of a women she are, it weren’t much by my way of thinkin’.

What were under them wing feathers were a lesson, or maybe I.M. should say many lessons in the language of are fourbearers. Now among them lessons were the proper use of the proper terms which I.M. perposely in error used in that there last sentence. Seems Nilda was a pointing out that I.M. has a lesser command of the language than most all of I.M’s reeders and as such I.M. needs to do what are called proof reedin’ afore he posts, which I.M. and Nilda will be a doin’ in the future so as not to confusion you reeders too much.

Now that y’all know that the reedin’ of this here blog are goin’ to be easier in the future, we needs to git back to cousin Lem’s emails about that shindig he were a part of. When we last left off, which were a good bit longer ago on Lem’s reportin’ part than it were on yer reedin’ part, Lem had just received a tap on the shoulder and had turned around to be a facin’ the spittin’ image of one of them TV preachers minus the poodle hair.

Accordin’ to Lem. that feller grabbed his hand and a started shakin’ it hard enough to like as pull as it right out of the socket, all the time a sayin’ how glad he were to met old Lem. Then he stops that shakin’, and a screwin’ his face up, slowly repeats Lem’s name, Lemeul Vayne, then he starts a laughin. sayin’ maybe they are distant cousins or something like that, and then suddenly stops in his mid laugh.

Lem says he were a wonderin’ whether this were where he were uncovered, and the way that feller were a staring at Lem’s tag he were certainly that non-preacher, preacher feller were a thinkin’ so. Now we Vayne’s may not have much education, especially like them there fellers that gits them lawyerin’ degrees and all, and although I.M. certainly doesn't have one hisownself, he do have to say he are on par with any of them that’s got them accountable degrees what with the one the Judge give I.M. and all. Howsoever, we Vayne’s can talk ourownselfs way out of most anything we git ourownselfs into, which were what Lem proceeded to do. I.M. are not goin’ to be divulgin’ any of the Vayne family secrets, but Lem says it were so easy pullin’ the wool over that fellers eyes that it were like takin’ the wool from a sheep shearer.

Afore Lem knowed it, all them folks were a done eatin’ and were a gathered up among themownselves to hear that not quite lookin’ like a TV preacher feller a leadin’ the choir and and a preachin’ up a storm. That were when Lem realized he had stumbled onto the midst of one of them famous RV revivals he had heard about through me and Nilda. Apparently there are a whole bunch of different seminaries that are part of this RV revival and Lem concluded his email by sayin’ he would be bringin’ us a blow by blow description of the goin’s on through the eyes of what them folks were referrin’ to as a newby, though Lem weren't exactly sure what that were. Stay tuned for tomorrows report in which Lem promises he will have ya nominationing him fer some kid of Pulitserprise fer in the field reportin’, whatever that are.

RV Campground Cooking

2011-04-12T23:00:00.000-05:00

Lem was about as stealthie as them bulls in a china shop are said to bee, but on acount of that masterfull desguise them young’uns created fer him, he were able to blend right in. With a little bit of snoopin’ he discovered that there were a free meal a comin’ up in a bit, which he understood were too be some kind of American Cooked Buffalo. Him never havin’ no buffalo afore, he were reelly lookin’ forward too it, along with the fact he were a gonna get to live up to his nickname of Mealmooch.

Not everybodies got the lack of tact and diplomaticy that Lem has got, but by usin’ every bit he had, he was a soon hobnobbin’ with them escaped folks like he were one of them. That were when he got his first, but not last serprise of the week. Them folks weren’t what he were a thinkin’ they were, leastaways, all but a few. They wasn't escaped folks a lookin’ fer freedom, they was just wright regular folks that had a come together fer some big confabulation to learn bout the mobile, mobile home lifestye.

Seems like there was a communal love fest a flowin’ through the hole camperground that had somethin’ to do with makin’ RV dreams come true. Lem was a sayin’ it weren’t nothin’ like them RV dreams that had a been a plaguing me and fer which that book I.M. read were a big help. These RV dreams was the kind of dreams that ends up taken ya out on the road to wanderin’ homeless up and down the rodes of are grate nation, either lost, broken down, or about to be broken down.

Lem said they was so nice he were a feelin’ like joinin’ them. Then he noted that most of them folks was a gittin’ up in years, and with the exceptioning of his and Clara Belle’s horde, their wasn’t not many young’uns to be scene. He were a showin’ his ignorrence left and write, since didn’t know much about the mobile, mobile home, though her were one of the worlds foremost xperts on the immobile, mobile home life. That were when he looked upon the menu fer the free meal he were about to mooch.

Imagination his serprize when he found out just what that American Cooked Buffalo meal reely were. As I.M. has said, Lem weren’t no grate shakes when it come to reedin’, in fact he weren’t even any lesser shakes, but he knowed enuff to know that buffalo weren’t not nowhere on the menu. A studyin’ it, he come to the realizin’ that it were some what familiar food and it were realy All American Cookin’.

It were at that pointer that Lem reelized the meal he were a gonna be a moochin’ were like readin’ from the whats what of great food.

APETTIZERS
Velveeta chunks
Teener weeners boiled in catsup
Pimentoe cheese filled celery stix
Rits crackers and cheezeWiz spred

MANE DISHES
Tuna noodle casserole crusted with tater chips
Hamburger helpless macaronie cassarole
Craft maceronie and cheese caserrole
Pigs in a blanket

VEGATABLES
Fat back boiled green beans
Boiled okra and pearl onions

DESERTS
Finger jello
Popcorn balls
Fruit cocktale
Custard cups

By this time Mealmooch were so excitable that it were causin’ a little scene around the menu what with him a whoopin’ and a hollerin’ that he hisownself were gonna eat like a king tonight and that Clara Belle and the young’uns could fiend fer they theysownselfs. It were just after he let loosen with that last one that he feels a tappin’ goin’ on at his shoulder and he turns around to be a facin’ a feller that looked just like one of them their TV preacher fellers, expetioning that instead of his hair a all poofed up liken one of them poodles, his were shorter than what are on a short haired possum pointer.

Campground Life

2011-04-11T23:00:00.007-05:00

Dispatched from the front by yer cousin, Lemuel Erasmus

I.M. a thinking that dispatch thing were old mealmooch’s way of infectionin’ some humor into his emales. Either that or he is even further off to the right side of the starboard end of a boat than even I.M. were a thinkin’ old Lem are. But I should just be a reportering what that latest emale had in it, rather than be a trying to pier into an unpeelable mind like his.
As the afternoon ward on, more and more of them mobile, mobile homes kept a peerin’ and even them cabins around them were a bein’ occupationed by folks. Some of which were just downright weird, like that one lady that were a decorating her cabin with them pictures of snow and cats which she were a sayin’ would reminder herownself of her Hairy’s new Jersey home, whatsoever that were. What Lem had thought were gonna be a nice quiet vacation were a lookin’ more and more like the middle of one of them big city’s by the moment.

Lem weren’t sure weather to gather in his horde and lit outta there, or to just hunker down and sorta ride out the storm. It were then he membered that this here were the campground that had a bunch of folks cancellin' their reservations on account of “some big thing” a goin' on in the area that them other folks didn't want to be no part of, and by now Lem were a thinkin’ he were a lookin’ at what that “some big thing” were. With the wife a remindering Lem that there stay were free, he choiced to batter down the sails and ride it out.

As Lem and Clara Belle was a sittin’ their in there rockers, they begun to see the strangest things a taken place. Them folks they’d see’d pourin’ into the camperground must of all been escapees from some kind of institution or something like that. They begin a lining up and a getting’ some kind of identefier tag hung around they’re neck. Next they was a lookin’ at each others tag and then it were like a real lovein, what with the huggin’ and other things along that line that were a goin’ on. Clara Belle were so glad the young’uns was all down at the pool, a gettin’ chased around by the comperground mangers fer a fillin' it with fish, as this weren’t somethin’ she wanted them exposured too at they’re young and tender ages.

All these unuseful goin’s on’s was a worryin’ Lem cause as impressivable as his and Clara Belle’s brood was they could possible be damaged fer the reminder of they’re lives should the happenin’s here happen to get worster than they was at the momentary. Puttin’ on his spyin’ profile, Lem called his young’uns back and propositioned that each of them chip in a little of thereownselfs outstandin’ abilities and help there Pappy make like Maxwell Smart. (Now I.M. has gots to add here that if their ever was somethin’ that were impposible too do, makin’ old Lem out to be smart were it, but that are what he wanted to do). :)

Fer a flock of young’uns that were supossedly nieve and unversed in the ways of the world, it didn’t take them but a might to have old Lem all decorationed out so that not a one of them escapped type folks could tell that Lem weren’t one of they themownselves. Dressed out in them colorful clothes, with skin whiter lookin’ than then new Jersies snows, and a wearing that taggy thing around his neck like a feller on the gallows, he were more like them than they themownselves was like themsownselves, and with that in mind he moved out amungst them to learn what this gatherin' were all about. :)

RV-Dreamers Glossery, T-W

2011-04-10T23:00:00.003-05:00

There sure is a whole bunch of that terminography stuff that newlies need to know, and my research has really been an educating experience, though Nilda was reminding me the other night that I shouldn't forget about my literature writin’ research, what with her being so involved in at and all, at least in the tryin’ out new ideas end of it. Guess you could say all this researching and experiementin’s got me plum tuckered out a mite.

That’s why this is gonna be the last of my glossery posts for a while, besides, writin’ all this has a givin’ me a whole bunch of ideas on other subjects pretraining to the mobile, mobile life that I can write on around my usual writin’ on our day to day livin’ and what I read in them other peoples blogs, that is.

Wished I had some kind of paper to give all them newlies that’s got this far as I knows that remembering all this readin’ matter is tuff to do. And for those that wanted me to put together a book of mobile, mobile terms, ain’t gonna happen, but Nilda did suggest I publish them all together on a page on my blog, sorta like the FAQ thing I did when I was first starting, so with some luck, you may be seeing something like that afore long.

Toad Or Dinghy
It's supposed to mean that thing your a pullin' behind your mobile, mobile home, usually some kind of geep that's supossed to allow them fellers to drive out in the middle of nowheres to enjoy the joys of nature in places that there's more of them geeps than mice at a spillt bag of seed. I don't rightly know where them two names, toad and dinghy, come from, but the way some folks hightail it down the road you'd a think that toad was a hoppin' after them instead of them a pullin' it, so maybe that's it. Course all this don't mean squat when were a talkin' bout them Motor Coach people cause they is usually pulling a geerage on wheels ahind them with more vehicles in it than a car show's got.

Underbelly
This is a regional term that is not often used in the far west, but is highly likely to be seen in Alabama, Georgia and Tennessee. Its also much more to be seen at them little backroads camp places that me and Nilda favor but you don't often see tourists at, cuz just the locals know about them and camp there. Some of them underbellys gets so big you wonder what all they is a coverin' up. That's why we like camps that's got a swimming hole, cause when them old boys come a waddlin' down to the water, they's often got so much underbelly a hanging down it looks like they don't got no swimmin' trunks on themselves when we’re a looking' at 'em towards the front. Course you ain't never lived till you've see a woman in one of them bikini things with a huge underbelly. Now top to bottom that a site you’ll nigh on likely never forget.

Winterize
This is one of them things folks who live up in the far frigid north near the Arctic circle in places like Michigun has to do every fall. Seems like they just dump everything out, then turn around and fill everything back up. Like they replace the clear water in the drinkin' tank with some pink stuff that no one would ever want to drink, which by my way of thinkin' is exactly why them Detroit motor car companies all got in so much trouble. Now if them motor zecutives had a been drinkin' some good home distilled spirits instead of that pink stuff they'd all a stayed bright eyed and bushy tailed instead of sleeping at the switch when all them cars started a coming over acrost the ocean. Seems to me like the mobile, mobile home industry was a forecasting them Detroit car companies demise with that pink stuff they was a using, long afore the people in Detroit and Warshingtun that's supposed to know about that kind of thing ever caught on. Guess you should never pay no never mind to anyone from Michigun that drinks pink stuff, especially all my cousins that went up there to work in them auto plants and is now a jealous of me and Nilda’s a livin' the good life cause I staid home and made something of myownself. Guess the real key to winterizing is to be right smart like me and live where it's warm in the winter so you don't have to winterize.

Lem's Campground Report

2011-04-09T23:00:00.001-05:00

Sent visa emale by Lemeul Erasmus Vayne

Wezals arived et this hear campersgund place lat at nite. It wer a rite nice place, what with actural in type out hous’s and lots of happi folks al round.

As y’all can see by the fourgoin’, cousin Lem ain’t got commandment of the english langwedge the way I do, so rather than subtrafuge you to Lem’s deciferable writin’s. I.M. goin’ to have to reword it a might. I know Lem won’t mind since he can’t reed worth a lick in the first place, and any beneficials will be fer my reeders. Nilda has also said she would help me undecifer the most deciferable parts of Lems emales, so as too allow my reeders to get a feel fer the real flavor of Lems observatory’s. Since he weren’t plannin’ on sendin’ me any food, I.M. not sure as to what flavors Nilda were a referencing too, but if it are understandable too you, then it are okay two me to.

After a long day of travel, we arrived at a lovely campground in the late evening. The glow of the setting sun and the sound of the insects were in the air as we checked in at the office. Not only was the office staff pleasant, the campers we met on the way to our site were smiling and waving to us as we passed by. The children, needing to use the restrooms after the long drive, marveled at the indoor setting and modern sanitary conditions. We are looking forward to a relaxing and restful vacation.

That were Nilda’s transposition of what Lem wrote, and after reedin’ it, I can’t fer the life of me see what she said were what he said, and versa visa. From now on I.M. takin’ suggestionings from Nilda, but I.M. gonna be doin’ the tonsilationing of Lems emales fer you.

The next mornin’ we gits up, lookin’ forward to havin’ the best vacation we’s had in years. This camperground, which the folks hear abouts referfence too as a RV Park, has got lotsa mobile, mobile homes put out in little spaces all lined up like domminos side by side. They’s also gots all kinds of wires and tubes a runnin’ to them, and if we knew better, which we don't, we’d think they was on life support like all them folks on that Grays Anatomical TV show is.

Another thing we notated was just how friendly many of them folks was. We’d be a sittin’ out in front of the cabin, the kids havin a good time tryin’ to level the playground area or splash all the water out of the them pools they got. They had a couple of pools, one of which the young’uns weren’t a supposed to be around as it were explaned to us, but since ya had to be able to reed to know which were which, and that weren’t my little darlin’s strong point, they just enjoyed the both of them all buy there lonesomes.

As we was a sittin’ their, another of the mobile, mobile homes would come drivin’ in, then the fun would often begin. It seemed like half them folks don’t even know which side of the sterrin’ wheel to grab when yer a backin’ one of the things up. Down on the mountain we learned how to drive and menauver anything with wheels afore we could reed and right. These folks might be able to reed and wright, but they didn’t have a clue when it come to menmovering them RV’s, as they were a referencing there mobile, mobile homes.

I.M., I will emale you tomorrow with what I seed goin’ on later in the day when all of this bunch of folks got into something akin to one of them lovein’s they usta have back when them hippity folks were furst popular in the 1960’s. And a lookin’ at more than a few of them folks here, that hippity part of them has expanded to the point that gittin’ through a door could be a chore.

Yer cousin, Lem, (and his horde as the wife’s Grandpap likes to refer to our bunch of young’uns).

Cousin Lem and How He Got into Camping

2011-04-08T23:00:00.002-05:00

I.M. got an emale from my distant cousin, Lemeul Erasmus, about the gosh darndest thing he run into last week, which I doo believe y'all might find ingenuitive of how some folks live this here full time mobile, mobile, home lifestye. Seems he was a callin' to confirmation the rezervations fer his family's annual, spring break fling and renewed lifestye holiday, when he up and discovered their had been a mixup. Seems that Lem had made them rezervations when him and the family left this same palace last year, only to discover that the hotel clerk had writ his name down wrong, a meaning that their were rezervations made fer this year, but they weren't his.

I guess it took a while to discover all this, but once them folks at that place, which Lem and his family had stayed at several times in the past, got the name right, they sure did remember him as well as Clara Belle and the kids, makin' Lem feel right sorry about the way them kids of his had just about tored the hole place apart while havin' their scavenger hunt the night afore they left last year. Then the hotel feller told Lem the bad news, that the place had become infested with some kind of killer spider, such that the authoritories wanted the whole place quartertined fer a couple weeks, and because of that they didn't have no rooms fer Lem and his family this year.

That made a big problem fer old Lem, since findin' another place fer him, Clara Belle and their herd of youngun's weren't gonna be easy at this last minute. Since it were really the place they was a stayin' at's fault, Clara Belle commenced to git on the phone to them, and one'st she got a done bellowerin' and a snortin', them spider hotel folks were out a scourin' the countryside fer a place where all of Lem's bunch could stay.

When they call'd back, all's they could find, this bein' one of the busiest times of the year in that area, were a campground that had a bunch of folks cancellin' their reservations on account of some big thing a gonin' on in the area that these other folks didn't want to be no part of. Guess they still had a few cabins available, along with three tent sites, and with Lem and Clara Belle being so interested in how me and Nilda live, they took them, hopin' there were enuf room fer the hole family to enjoy a camping vactation which they had never had.

This place were over the south border of Kentucky, but since that spider place was a payin' fer Lem and his families stay on the condition they vacationed in some other place in the comin' years, Clara Belle said it were in there best interests besides savin' them a ton of money, so they agreed even though they likes to spend there vacination money within the Commonerwealth of Kentucky. Lem said there it were after dark when they got there, so he weren't exactually sure what the name of the place were called, but he thought it were the Giver Pine Nation or somethin' close to that, and after what he saw a goin' on there, over the next few days, it were that and more.

Now Cousin Lem weren't exactly the stickiest section of flypaper on the roll, but he had the Eggrets eye when it come to observing goin's on's and all. With that in mind, I paprose to make his mixed up emale scribblin's more illegible fer ya so ya can understand them better. I.M. thinkin' it will give all my realatives a readin' this blog a look at this full time life from the eyes of one that can't read or rite a lick, nor can he think much better than he can't reed or wright. An to them cousin's a wonderin' if this is "old mealmooch" Lemeul, yes it is, so if'n there's any freebies to be had at this campground, I experts heel be lettin' us know over the next few days. So fer the week or so I.M. will be postin' what Lem sends to me. Sides it will give me a brake from havin' to writ myownselfs posts each day, what with my TIP IN box bein' so empty and all.

The 001 Series Fer Them That Don’t Know Nothin’

2011-04-07T23:00:00.000-05:00

Theres been several different fellers that’s told me, "I.M., you is so knowingable bout this mobile, mobile home life that you ought to be teachin’ a class on it at these here campgrounds where you is a stayin’ at". I did mention it to one campground owner feller, and when he got done a laffin’ he said that, with what he knowed about me, I’d do a lot better down at the Friday night armatur night at the Laff a Minute club than afore a campground audience.

I thought about what he said fer a while, but ya know, that there electrical end of these mobile, mobile homes ain’t something I’m much up on. I knows them wires and switches pretty good, but when it comes to coils, armaturs, motors and such, I’m mostly lost. Asides, I knows so much about most every other mobile, mobile home thing, theirs no way I could say it all in just a minute or so like they want at that club place.

But then I just naturally stumbled acrost an outlet for all this knowledge thats a burstin to be loosed on a audience just hunguran for words of widsdom like I got. Problem is when they go a lookin’ on this Internet thing, they keeep a runnin’ into all them 101’s. RV 101, Fulltiming 101, RV’ing 101, why theres more 101’s on the Internet than some states got signs fer that road. Problem is, them 101 courses and such is way over the head of most folks just a starting out in the mobile, mobile home life. Which is why I’m startin’ a new serous of infomative posts aimed specially for them folks, the ones with empty brains, just a beginning the long trek down the fulltime trail. I’m a naming it "The 001 Series Fer Them That Don’t Know Nothin’.

Rememberin' what my cousin, Billy Bob, the one that is in the marketing business, had learned me about marketing, I knowed it would be best to shorten my title too “001 SFTTDKN” fer short, which is a lot catchier and easier to remember that it's regular name, which is why they use them acronimglyphics in the first place. I played around with them numbers and letters fer a while, when I come up with one that was short on size, but long on action.

I showed it to Nilda and she laughs and says, she’ll answer me with of her own acronimglyphics. IMURASTDKN. Mine had said IMASTDKN, and her answer was a puzzlin’ me, and even more so when she suggests we should maybe do some more research for my literatary writin’. Just what the one had to do with the other, I never knowed.

Sorry I got oft track their but them females can do that to man when he’s leastaways unexpectationing it. I also decisioned that two much of that anachronisim thing was gonna cause me more problems than it solved, so I’m just a gonna call it “Mobile, Mobile Home Life, The Hole Story.” With the subtitle, “I.M. fillin’ yer mind with all he knows.”

I were so excited to come up with what might be the greatest infomative websight to ever capture the minds of the mobile, moblie home community, that I rush off to call cousin Billy Bob, the family marketing jeaneus. He were busy, but as soon as he could take a brake from his marketing job at his Grandpap's roadside toothpaste and toilet brush stand, where he hides and makes sure them city feller tourists put money in the jar when they take something, he called me back.

He were just as excited as I were, I goin’ on about how I even give him an idea fer a new slogan fer there stand, “Take care of both ends with one stop.” Maybe I is a wasting my time on this blogger thing and oughta be a writtin’ advertisin’ copy like them beauty palor ladies was a suggestin’. But fer now I’ll just stick to what I knows best, so start a looking for a serous of infomative articles on the mobile, mobile home life and how to live it the write way, comin' soon on this here blog.

I.M. Opt-editiertorializer

2011-04-06T23:00:00.002-05:00

As I understands it from Nilda, her a readin’ the Huffing Post, the Drunge Repost,and both the New York and Warshington Slimes, are so she gets all the news that ain’t fit to reed from the webslights and newspapers of irrelavants, as they like to call themselves. She says hearin’ both the literal and the consternation sides of the specterum makes her a more roundered individual. And Nilda, being little more than skin and bones, needs all the roundin’ she can get, though not as much as cousin Mick has got.

Biased on all that, I has begun to finally understand the Opt-editiertorial and just what I should be doin’ to make it happen. With that in mind I will forthwith hereafter immediately post haste be presenting my first Opt-editiertorial.

RV Blogs, an Opt-editiertorial by M.I. Enyav

When in the course of mobile, mobile home blogs, it becomes necessary for one people hisownself to dissolve the practiced blands which have connectioned them blogs with one another, and to assume among the powers of the blogoshphere, the deseparate station to which the un-natural laws of mobile, mobile home blogging has enchained them, the decent prospect to the opinions of them bloggers requires that he should declare the causes which impel them to be separated from their former ways.

He holds these truths to be self-evident, that all folks are definitely not created equal in writin’ ability, that they are endowed with unattainable writes, among them bein’ any right spellin’, grammer and punctuatin' that might happen. That to secure these writes, followers is instituted among blogs, deriving their juxtaposition from the comments of the followed. That whenever this form of followin’ becomes deductive of these blogs, it is the right of that people person to alter or to abolish them blogs, and to institute a new blog movement, laying its foundation on such lack of principles and bein’ so disorganized in its form, as to them that read it, it shall seem most likely to effect their insecurity and unhappiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that blogs long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience has shown, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, them blogs that are insufferable, than to write themselves, thereby a watchin' the blogs to which they is accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same objection convinces one that such a bunch of blogs is absolute disparate confusionism, it is the right, it is the duty, to throw off such blogs, and to provide new blogs for the future of insanity.

Therefore, the representatives of these here blogs, in general confusion, dis-assembled, and apallingly bein’ judged by the bloggin’ world for the irrectitude of their inactions, do, in their names, and by no authority of the mobile, mobile home bloggin’ world, solemnly publish and declare, that these mobile, mobile home blogs are, and if write, otta be free and independent of abject confusionism, that they are abolished from all allegations of claimin’ to be the best blog, and that all practical connection between them and the status of confusionism, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as free and idiosyncrasy blogs, they have full power to happy hopes, concluding participles, contracting conjunctions, establishin’ commenterys, and to do all other actual things which idiosyncratic blogs may of write do. And for the support of this declaration, with a firm resilence to the established blogs, it are mutually pledged to write about the lives and fortunes of the mobile, mobile home world, whatever they may be, to the best of our honor.

That are what I understands to be a Opt-editiertorial, and Nilda says that after a reedin’ it ya should be glad that mobile, mobile homes and mobile, mobile home blogs weren’t around in 1776, or the declaration of independence may have had an entirely different connotationing and wordin’. :)

Signed
M.I. Enyav
Opt-editiertorializer

Editertorial

2011-04-05T23:00:00.000-05:00

Now that we’s got the Great Bird Blog incidental out of the way, and things is back to normal, I will take up where I left off. Well, maybe before I do I should backtrack just a might for them that weren’t part of all that brewlala. You’d a thought that from some of the communists that folks posted in the communists section under that second Bird blog post, that birds were fer a lookin’ at, rather than fer bein’ ate.

There’s bird dogs alrighty, but a bird watchin’ dog, who ever herd of such a thing. I’ll show ya good bird dog with a big old fat duck a hangin’ out of its mouth, but I bet you ain’t never see'd a bird watchin’ dog, one of them fluffy prudles, all decked out with a hat and sunglasses and with a pare of byknockulors a hangin’ around it’s neck. Not a gonna happen, mostly cause their ain’t no such thing.

All of this is a causin’ me to once again brake knew ground in the fulltime RV mobile, mobile home bloggin’ world. While many of the bloggers and all of those, "I’ll help ya become a fulltimer" webslights is after yer money so they’s can fulltime, (even if you can’t) me and Nilda believes in travelin’ our own rocky roades of life. Them other webslights is into the, lets all get along and be just one big happy family contraceptive. Course they’s that's a leadin' it is likey as not to be the happyest of the bunch, namely on account of it bein’ their good fortune of a havin’ there followers fortunes fund their own fortunates way of livin’.

Cause of that, needin' to make money, you ain’t a gonna be presented with nothin’ but the high glossy varnished facts, buffed to a high shine at them places. Fancy jobs, a palacial mobile, mobile home, drop out of one life and into the other and they’s a gonna tell ya how to live the lifestye of the fulltimer. Now ya is a seein’ why this here post is a titled, Editertorial, it ain’t something you ain’t never gonna see on most of them sights that is supposed to be a helpin’ ya fullfill yer RV mobile, mobile home wants and yer about to be new lifstye, dreams.

Nilda were the one that told me about this here editertorail contraceptive where I can rite opinionated peaces to educate the untellectual, hybirdize the purists and help eradikate any of them painful to read webslights that’s still a croppin’ up now and then, out their. With that well tucked somewheres in my massive mucus filled mind, I will upon occasionally be bringing you up to date on the things goin’ on in the mobile, mobile home world instead of just a boarding you to death every day with the stories of me and Nilda’s daily doin’s.
Howsoever, along with the editertorializer, there is, accordin’ to Nilda, a Opt-editiertorializer, which I.M. is also supposed to be, leastaways accordion to Nilda.

Nilda says it is a pro and con thing, but since I don’t follow professional sports, neither them that’s in it nor them's that usta be in it, I ain’t much up on the current batch of pros and cons, so I’ll just have two encoach upon that subject in a different way. Another thing Nilda mentioned were a doing a litaturary criticals of some of my followers blogs.

I.M. thinking I’ll just let that one rest in the mush of my brain fer a while, purculationing and regurgitatin’ till we see what might come out of it. I just wish I had time to tell you about all the things we see a goin’ on around us as we live this here RV mobile, mobile home lifestye. Folks is always a thinkin’ bout how much greener the grass is on the other side of the manure pile. They just forgets that someone had to shovel a bunch of manure to make it look green. All of which would make a good editertorial in and of itsownself.

My Cousins, Mr. Mick and Ms. Mary

2011-04-04T23:00:00.003-05:00

What with their bein' some degree of curiosity about my family and all, I were a thinkin' I.M. should write about some of the imported relatives I.M. has got. Knowin' there ain't no way to right about all of them, I picked out a few and over the next couple of weeks will try to lowlight the lives of some of them. Since Mick really sticks out, I.M. a commencin' with him.

When this cousin, Mick, of mine were born it weren't knowed if he were gonna turnout an angel or somewhat different, so his Pa come up with the moniker of Michael Angelicus Dionysus figuring he'd have that boy a covered whichsoever way that young'un turned out.

Then somewheres along the line, Michael Angelicus Dionysus got changed into Mick. No one seems too remember exactly how Mick come to be called Mick, and fer all I knows it could be because when he were a little sprout he bored a resembellence to Mickey Mouse, especially the way his ears stuck out. At the last reunion I herd Uncle Wilbur askin' Mick what circumferance he were, so you can see that his ears ain't no longer his most outstanding charteristical.

From the beginnin' Mick were a real hard worker, and afore he were knee high, he were standin' an the downtown corner of the Gulch a passin' out the local newspaper, The Gulch Monthly Guardian and Free Press. By the use of hisownselfs injaknewity, it weren't long before he were a major clog in the operation of that paper. As to what he did, nobody knew, but he soon had his name on the mastiff of that rumor rag as it were commonly referred too.

Problem being that with it only comin’ out on a monthly basis and being free to boot, it didn't take all that long afore Mick were an ex-newspaper man which sort of made him a four runner of what is now happenin' in the newspaper world. Course when ya look at the high qualities of journyism being produced by blogs such as mine today, it ain't no wonder them newspapers is in trouble.

Mick were able to take what he had learned in the newspaper business and use it to his own advantagous, as he were able to git a job helpin' Elmer the plumber, takin' over the outhouse pumpin' end of the business, something that he were able to dovetail into the fulltime life once he and Ms. Mary took off on they're adventure of there own after seein' how well it worked out fer Nilda and me.

It took a while, but it weren't long afore Mick had Ms. Mary all a trained up in the outhouse pumpin' business and they were a doin' the work campin' thing with Mick a handlin' the campin' end and Ms. Mary the workin' end. I knows yer a wonderin' how that could some about, so maybe I.M. should fill you in a little on things. In the first place, little ain't exactly the way to describe Mick, him bein' from the side of the family that seemed to favor the bulky branch of the Vayne line. At leastaways that were the way Grandpap were always a puttin' it whensoever we would have one of them regular family reunions.

They'er was always a couple of tables that had a double layer of plankin' on the seats, and it didn't take long afore we all knowed them was where that size of the family sat, though spreadout probably were probably a better description of all of them a sittin' there, cheek to cheek, both top and bottom, than a sayin' they "sat". It were my first instantaneous of hearin the word butterball used, and to this day, I still ain't got it exactly figured out, but that were what them on that side of the family were referenced as. I guess it had somethin' to do with a butter fixation as they did slather it on everything.

That brings ya up two near the present, and why I.M. tellin' ya all this is 'acause Mick, while he give up the newspaperin' business fer good, has still got his hand into writin' at times. Fer some reason he has takin' a shine to me and Nilda, and has been a sendin' me reports of what he and Ms. Mary is up two and the things they sees along the rodes of life. And what with him and Ms. Mary spendin' most of there time out in the farther west and all, it might give ya a different perspiration on things. Some of what he wrights makes fer write good reedin, not as good as what I right, but it are something I might be a postin' on accasional, after I makes it more readable, of course, him not being the grate righter I.M.are.

RV-Dreamers Glossery, P-T

2011-04-03T23:00:00.001-05:00

I know you folks think all this faboulus information you been a getting’ in these here glossery posts is all my doing, but it ain’t really so. I couldn’t a done it without Nilda and her a telling me that the only way to get better at this written thing was to sit down in front of the computer and a just a commence a typing, and let whats gonna come out, come out.

I’ve also been doin’ some research as the more you know about a subect, the easier it is for us great writers to whip it into something that ordinaryly folks like you can quickly understand. Nilda’s been a spreading the word agin to the womenfolk, both in town and at the place we is a stayin', the result of which has been some nice right comments about my writn’, like the feller that stopped by the other night and mentioned how he had learned things he never thought he would ever see and it were my unique point of view, to use his words, that did it. Sure does make a body feel good to get a compliment like that totally unexpected.

Pitch-In
As I had it explained to me, this used to be way of describin' a mobile, mobile home campground get-together, usually by pitching-in and bringin' a covered dish, casserole, or something else you hope nobody eats so's you can take home all the leftovers and eat fer a spell without havin' to cook. Now I understand its got another meaning about the full time life many RV-Dreamers got a mind to be lividn. So now it also means supportin' some city feller that don't think he ought to have to work like the rest of us ordinary folks, so's he can live it up in all them nice places you'd like to be a visitin' but can't yourself because you got to work to support both yourownself and him, then he blogs about it so's you'll know what you is a missin' out on. Now I don't know bout you, but two me it looks like he are most likely the smartest mobile, mobile home feller there is in this while blogger world.

Shore Power
This is one of them electricity things that attracts newlies like a lantern by a sour mash still attracts moths. Some of them even has to try to back-in as many as three times afore they smack into it real good. Guess they just don't know they's got a cord that will reach to it.

Snowbird
When we first heard tell about these winter snowbirds, we was surely a puzzled. Pa taught me my huntin' skills at an yearly age, plus Nilda had always been partial to birds as well as nye on being one herself what with all the other fellers a callin' her a real good lookin' chick when we was a sparkin'. Then we learned that all them white things a wanderin' around in them gawdauful lookin' clothes were them snowbirds, which people from the artic parts of the country down to the south fer the winter. Now I hear they's also a talkin' about summer sonbirds, but since Nilda and me ain't never had no young'uns I ain't got figured out yet just exactly what these sonbirds is supposed to look like.

Tail Swing
It's when that gal a clutchin' onto to you for dear life at a hoedown or hootenanny gets real big into the music and is a makin' you swing her wide so there parts of her clothin' bein' elevated to near improper levels. It comes from what them fellers a standing alongsides the wall that ain't got no girl to hold onto is a sayin' amongst themselves about what's happening in front of their eyes. I don't rightly understand why them fellers was a wanting me to put this in here, especially since it don't have nuthin' to do with mobile, moble home livin', but at least them newlies now know what it is if'n it ever comes up in a fireside confab.

RV Dreams

2011-04-02T23:00:00.001-05:00

“Are you one of the millions plagued by RV dreams? Do you lie awake at night unable to sleep as RV’s tumble over a cliff before your very eyes? If so we have a solution.”

Now ya’ll can say what you want, but OL’ 5th Wheel was just about drivin’ me crazy. I’d searched and searched for somethin’ that would stop them nitemares, but couldn’t find anything, then this feller I met at Aunties Brakes and Bakes, combination pie and brake shop, told me about this here book that he’d read that could help a body overcome these terrible nitemares that come almost every night.

So when I read the cover of that book and it had them words on it, I was a thinkin’ I should probably be a shoutin’ Hallelujah, I is about to be shunt of them RV dreams at last. Still, I weren’t sure that Ol’ 5th Wheel was exactly qualified to be one of them RV’s considering its pedigree and all. I knowed it were a mobile, mobile home, but and RV? I had some serious regulations bout that.

Still me being a sucker like most people inflicted with them RV dreams, and a wanting to be cured of them, I talked to Nilda about my perdickerment. She come up with as good a solution as could be, given the circumstances. Just so I wouldn’t blame myself all by myownself if that book didn’t cure my affliction of them RV dreams, we would both chip in a few dollars to pay for it, and that way if it didn’t work, it weren’t all mine own fault as part of it would be Nilda’s fer helping me.

Once that book come I plunged into it like I was going skinny dippin’ with Candilu Hugginbottom, and I was soon up to my ears in daydreams, lucid dreams, prophetic dreams, epic dreams, naked dreams, flying dreams, chase dreams and falling dreams, and it were some of them last four that really perked me up and got me a might excitered.
What I learned helped me get ahold of things and really straighten out one in peculiar. Seems that a dream about fallin’ is more about insecurities, instabilities, and anxieties than what you is a dreaming about. Indicatin’ them RV dreams I’ve been a reoccuring has got to be about Ol’ 5th Wheel and not about me. It said some more bout the fact a person havin’ this kind of dreams was probably feeling overwhelmed and out of control in some situation of their life.

On that, I would bet the family still it had got to be that blasted piece o junk we was a using to take us down the highway of life that were a overwhelmin’ me, besides breakin’ down on us all the time too. Then that author drifted way off base, a talking about my relationships goin’ downhill or problems at work. That feller writin’ that book was doin’ alrighty up that point but what with me not a working, and my relationship with Nilda bein’ more than spectacular since I took up that literature writin’, I weren’t so sure that writer fellow was really who he said he was.

But no sooner does he do that than he redeems hisself, saying a bunch of words that didn’t make a whole bunch of cents, but I liked 'em anyways. It was about losing your grip on things and finding that you had trouble keeping up with the hustle and bustle of the daily goin’s on’s. That one really hit home cause the way Nilda had been a movin’ her bustle since I took up literature writin’ there weren’t no way I could keep up with her.

Then he talked about being forced into this situation and not bein’ able to control the downward spiral, whatever that was, but that knowin’ what the cause of them dreams was, you could work on getting’ them stopped. Knowin’ all this, I took a deep breathe, and decided to just let Ol’ 5th Wheel do what it wanted to do, and I would do what I wanted to. Nilda liked what I was a talkin’ about and said I should give it a few weeks and if I still had them nightly RV dreams, she’d see if she couldn’t do a few things to perk me up. Now just how lucky can a feller get.

Nilda Here–My Beginnings

2011-04-01T00:01:00.003-05:00

Today I would just like to give you a little background into who I am, and where I come from , so when you read my blog posts you can understand why I look at things the way I do, which as you already know is somewhat different than how I.M. looks at things.

Papa, which was the only name the three of us, myself and my two older brothers, ever called the man who was our dear father, was tall, handsome in a roguish sort of way, and always had a smile on his face. To the day he died, he was the light of ours, as well of mother’s life. Raised in New England, he had gone to college, having always dreamed of being a school teacher, though his parents wanted him to join the family business following in the footsteps of the two preceding generations. I know he wanted to please his parents, yet he also wanted to live his own life, and it was only after he met the girl that would eventually become his wife, and our dear mother, that he decided that you don’t get many opportunities to live your dream and he was going to take a chance on living his.

I’ve heard over the years from my aunts and uncles, that Papa’s parents were somewhat less than enthusiastic about the girl he brought home during the Christmas Holidays of his Junior year. It wasn't because mother was not pretty, for she certainly was, as the old photographs show so well. And it certainly wasn't that her education was lacking, as she was actually a straight A student. In fact they first met when Papa was having trouble in his French Literature class, and she was assigned as his tutor.

The problem was that she came from the South, and not just anywhere in the South, but was the hills of southern Kentucky, which to my grandparents' way of thinking was a heathen, uncivilized land, if ever there was. As I mentioned before, this all comes second hand, as neither mother nor Papa would ever talk about what caused the rift with his parents. It seems, the next time Papa went home there was a terrible argument between he and his father, the wounds of which never healed, and for which mother always blamed herself.

The result of all this was that when Papa and mother were married the following summer, they never told Papa's parents. And the rift that began at at fateful Christmas continued to widen to the point where neither of Papa’s parents attended his graduation exercise, a year and a half later. However, the new graduates did not lack for well wishers as Papa’s brothers as well as his sister were there, even though all three of them were already working in the family business. But, as Papa’s brother, Uncle Stanley tells it, the entire college fell in love with the Class Valedictorian's family, most of whom had traveled from southern Kentucky just to be a part of something that had never before happened to anyone in their family.

I know I’m probably boring you to death with all this talk about my parents and how they met, but it is because of all this that I am who I am today. Because when those cars headed back to Kentucky, there was another that had joined them, the one carrying Papa and mother, along with all their worldly possessions. You see, Papa had fallen in love with the “hills and the hollers” as he would laughingly refer to them for the rest of his life, the place where mothers' people had lived for generations, when he and mother traveled there to be married the previous summer.

There was never a question of where they were going to live, or what they were going to do, and one of lessons Papa taught the three of us was, there are places where who you are is determined by what your address is, by the car you drive,who you work for, how you dress, or how much money you have. Then there are places like where our family lived, a place where no one judged anyone for any reason, and even if you were not kin, and where you were treated as kin because everyone not only spoke the golden rule church, they lived it each and everyday.

So when Papa got a job teaching second grade at the local school, mother drove down everyday to the University, where she was eventually awarded her Doctor of Philosophy in French Literature, a subject she always said, became her favorite during her junior year in college for a very, very special reason. Once she received her degree she never went back to that University, except for alumni events, nor did she do anything with her degree in the normal sense. She said that Papa loved her so much he let her follow her dream until it came true, and it was then that she realized that the greatest life she could ever live would be if she and Papa followed their own dream together.

I.M. were a thinkin' y'all would reelly appreciate hearin' from my other half. It left out the part bout Nilda's Pa needin' to talk to Nilda's Ma, April first which were the funny part, but some of ya probably notationed that yerownself.

The RV-Dreamers TIP IN Program Explained At Last

2011-03-30T21:42:00.000-05:00

No fancy lawyer talk today, its write too the point. I got to find a way to get more done in the time I got, cause I can't spend time a writtin' this here blog and attractin' new reeders if I got to also actually do things that normal folks are a doin'. This here blog and the RV-Dreamers concept is something that folks new to the mobile, mobile lifestye, as well as them that's been around the blockade a time or too, both want and need. And if they don't they should.

The result is the RV-Dreamers TIP IN program. It only takes a little from each of you a reedin' this here blog and a samplin' the other reports I has here, like the glossery and the FAQ's, to help I.M. out. I'll bet you come here everyday, just a lookin' froward to the words of wisdom I have lent to the mobile, mobile, home world this day. So it shouldn't pain ya at all to throw a tip or too in the kitty litter on occasion.

A onest a month confusion is all I is a askin' from each of ya. Which in a years time will add up to a really nice bonous fer me and would let me take up golf and other such purzoots that I can't at the present. I reelizes this is probably knockin' ya rite a'tween the I's and all, but Gandpap always told me sheep were the happiest right after they had been sheerded. :)

TIP IN, the RV_Dreamers way is a brand new program I is ineptituding today to keep this website the way you want it to be. Full of the fragrantest ideas and up to the second mobile, moble home news, along with I.M. who some referance as the foremost of all the most forward thinkers, and others as the biggest pain in the butt. It don't matter how you think of me, as I will keep a bringin' ya the unvarsity truth, even if ya don't become part of the TIP IN program.

I know many of ya already got yer hand out, with yer contribution to the TIP IN program ready to be put where I tell ya too. From them that don't, let me explanationary just how it works. TIP IN, Tips Insure Particularly Interesting New-posts. Ain't that simple. You help old I.M. out with suggestioning areas of the mobile, mobile home lifestye or techniqual areas where my voluptious knowledge could be applicationed, and I.M. gets to have the time to learn how to play golf, paddle boats or maybe even get a real job while on the road and git enough money to replace Ol' 5th Wheel, or at least temprarily permantently fix her but good.

Along that line I am a placin' a TIP IN jar off to the side of this blog. That's where I got to be real ingenewious, and has got it linked to my email so you can send in the tips whenever they was to pop into yer crematorium cavity. I knows this has the potential to drive some folks away, me havin' my can out like this and all, butt rest assureded, whats hangin' out has been exposed to the bitterest of winter weather from a hangin' out in our Gulch top outhouse, so it can take it.

I knows this may not work, but if it does by some unfortunate circumstancial work out, it will be a lot more fulfilling and a lot more fun, at least fer me, cause I'll be a doin' the playin' while you'll be a doin' all the work. It's a risky proposition, but I.M. has never been one to shy away from a little risk. :)

Plus just think, if ya do send in something that is deaned worthily of beein' used on the blog or in the website, y'all may not exactly be a blood cousin of old I.M. but you is the the next best thing, a gal or feller that's gots a brain as sharpened as I.M.. Ain't two many of them in this here world let me tell ya, and as a reel boneus, it lets ya be known by the company ya keep.

So spred the word, TIP IN, Tips Insure Particularly Interesting New-posts. (You keep a workin' so I don't got too.) :)

The New RV-Dreamers TIP IN Program

2011-03-29T23:00:00.017-05:00

Bet ya didn't know ya could have yer aphrodite wedded to the point where you was just about salavatin' to make a contribulation to some bodies, come in, did ya. :)

Nilda, bless her heart, weren't so sure I should be a doin' this thing, not knowin' the pressure I were under, and in the heat of the moment she went so far as to say that what I were doing were two rip somebody off. Now Nilda just never talks that away, and it more than puzzlated me that she would not support me in my writin' indevers, her usually bein' my biggest booster seat and all. Knowing the only way to overcome this deliquent problem was to confront her, that's what I did.

"Nilda, darlin'" I says, "I.M. sometimes a puttin' my foot in the wrong hole, and if this were one of the times, and I left what were right, where the right write otta not be left, tell me so I can write right." It are a mazin' how the application of that little bit of logic I learned from my Grandpap, a sittin' on his knee, has paid off over the years. "Nilda just looks up me, her big rose tinted, chestnut colored eyes a fixed on me, and said, "Why I.M., I do believe you badly misunderstood not only the percise phraseology I used, but you have inadvertently exacerbated and internalized your reaction to what I said."

There is times in a man's life when he can look foolish, and times when he can look downwrite stupid. This was one of them times when most anything I was to say would make me look like a sheer genius in them other moments, compared to what I was about to look like with my mouth open at this moment. So I just nodded my head, and kept a looking at her, a hopin' she would see that whatever it was that I was a thinkin', it were the right thing to be a thinkin'. Luckily it were so. :)

It surely did surprize me when the next thing she does is to ask me how I plan to inform my readers of my plight and the proposed soulotions. I knows there has gots to be some laywer blood a runnin' in the city feller veins of my family, cause what I did next were right out of one of they're bookends.

My plan were really quiet simpleton, and were based on something I remembered a doin' with Sissy Sanderson and her two twin girl cousins that summer they were a visitin' from the big city where they lived. Did they ever teach me a thing or two that summer, which were how I come up with the Kernal Green did it in the conversationary with the lead knife, plan of attack fer gettin' my reeders on my side.

I remembers how we played that Clueless game everyday, and how impressed them too city sisters was about my playin' inabilities. They even went so far as sayin' that I just might have been the most clueless, Clueless player in the whole wide world, which I took as being as good as it could get, coming from them two fourth grade girls, me and Sissy only bein' third graders at the time. Seems like I were a man of the world before I even knowed what the world were.

Remember how I were a tellin' you yesterday how I had the wooden arm out and the noose ready, and today I would spring the trapdoor? Well just like any good lawyer worth his salt can keep ya on the edge of yer seat with his odoratory, I.M. just done the same, but tomorrow you reelly, realy is a gonna learn about the RV-Dreamers TIP In program. It's like another of Grandpaps sayin's, It's always best to shear the sheep when the wool's a hanging down over they're eyes. Sheesh.

TIP IN - The RV-Dreamers Way

2011-03-28T23:00:00.002-05:00

Introducin' the brand spankin' new, never tried before, RV-Dreamers TIP IN program, which are a hard thing fer me to doo, butt is gots to be done. And like Pa always said, a stuck pig always squeals loudest just afore he's a bled to death. :)

Alrighty then, lettuce git write to the point. Seems like this here blog has been a takin' up more of my time than I thought it would, which in turn is puttin' me an Nilda in a bit of a bind. Seems like the out go is a grately excendrining the come in, which is a putting the screws to not the places like they otter be. Them screws need to be applicationed to Ol' 5th Wheel and the like, but this lack of come in is a forcin' me to come up with other ways to substantualate this here lifestye of ours.

To solve that problem I has thought long and hard, leastaways that's what all them other fellers write, and if'n I were to say it come to me in a flash, it wouldn't have the same impact, so it were threw a hole bunch of long and tortellinias thinkin' that I come up with this plan.

Now my cousins all knows what I.M. a referin' two, but them several or so, not relationed to me or Nilda readers I have picked up along the way might not know the depths of depravitations we has sunk to. I is a tryin' to break it to ya as gentle as possible soas not to upset the horseapple wagon as that old sayin' goes, so bare with we on this one.

I know some of my realationarys, Pa included, would have just proposed a takin' a club to y'all and be over and done with it, lettin the chips fall where they may. That howsoever ain't the way I.M. goin' about it, if I.M. a sayin' so. I.M. got feelin's folks, and not just feelin's fer I.M., I got feelin's fer all y'all as well. And not just the kind of feelin' that Tomato Blossom taught me about neither, though I sure ain't about to ever forget them feelin's fer sure.

Alrighty then, I have herd it said that us folks from Kentucky ain't got no feelin' fer others, just feelin's fer ourownselves. Butt while their might be some that don't feel the pain of others, specially if they is like that, it ain't I.M.'s way, but more likewisely them city feller types ways. So knowin' all that, and a tryin' reel hard not to get distractioned by thinkin' of Tomato Blossoms feelin's, I want to lay it out to you as straight as any of them lawyer fellers appealin to a jury would. Meanin' it'll have the most convoluted argument, and appeal to evey heartstring you never knowed ya didn't have, but in the end, even if ya don't agree with me, I'll still be a makin' a bunch of money from my case.

Just think how much enjoyment y'all get out of readin' these hear scribblin's of mine mind every day. It takes a lot of work to put all this together, time I could a be spending doing things like golfin' kiyackin, studyin' dead trees, gettin' folks to rent boats fer me and fix Nilda and me most of our meals. Just a wrightin' this here blog, let alone doin' that ain't as easy as yer a thinkin' which is why I come up with this here RV-Dreamers TIP IN program.

Today I.M. were just erectoring the wooden thing that holds the noose, tomorrow I'll be a spring the old trap door on ya. :) :)

RV-Dreamers Glossery, G-M

2011-03-27T23:00:00.001-05:00

Now I know this here glossery thing is a probably borin’ to death all you long time full timers that happen to read this blog, what with me a coverin’ all these subjects that you probably know just as much as I do. I’m a hopin’ my expert way with words is still a makin’ it interesting to you, but if you want to skip this here installedment, it ain’t gonna hurt my feelin’s none.

For all you newlies, if there’s any a readin’ this, I’m a tryin’ to make this as simple and easy to foller as possible. Even to takin’ pains to make sure that all these words is in alfibetical order to make it so you don’t get lost or confusioned any more than you are, what with bein’ a newlie at the mobile, mobile home life and all. So knowin’ that you can’t feed a babe with a servin’ spoon, here's another little bite of knowledge to help make you just as smart as we’uns that’s been doin’ it fer a long time.

GAWR
Now you may think you been a bit confusioned up to this point, howsoever you really been almost right smart as that Einstine feller till now compared what you as a bout to become once you get into this alfabit soup of weights and a what you can carry and what you can't carry, including how much your tongue can hold. Ma always said we weren't to be a yappin' with our mouths a full, so I got a mighty good handle on that tongue weight part though I don't see what its got to do with mobile, mobile home livin'. Just so's you will be right knowledgeable on them weight things all those pamphalets talk on and on about, and most importantwise, so you'll know what your supposed to ingnore or pay no nevermind to when that salesman tells you not to worry, you can pull it, just sign right here, below's a list of 'em.
GVWR, GAWR, GCWR, SCWR, GVW, GTW, GAW, GCW, TWR, TLR AND VLR
Now your on you're own as to what they mean cause I's a still working on the A's let alone be a gettin' this far down the alfibit
.
KOA
Now I knowed this is another of them 3 and 4 letter animalgrams like I just got done unconfusing you on, but this one ain't about weights. Unless I suposse you are talking about weights to get checked in once yor at one of these here KOA's. Course I ain't had no experience stayin' at these Krappy Overnite Accomodations places as lots of our feller traveleres likes to refer to them, but there's lots that say stayin' their is very rewardin'. I might just have to check one out, especially since all of my experience with rewards were what the Judge said when I got my degree. Which was that if'n the sheriff hadn't a catched me right off, somebody would have collected a reward when they finally found me. Guess I should stay at one and bring you up to date on what rewards they is a payin' and fer what. If they's big enough rewards we just might want to set a spell and build our savin's back up.

Motor Coach
As I best understand it, this is the term for a mobile, mobile home on a bus-type chassis by them folks that paid more dollars for that money pit than they should'a. Then they makes sure theirs some fancy nameplate on it that implies they's a heap better than we'uns is. Now since I don't exactly run in them circles, especially since Ol' 5th Wheel usually hardly ever runs at all, leastaways when I want it to, I don't rightly know if that statement about them puttin' on airs is true or not. I do know that if they knows where to get parts for this pile of junk we call home, I'd a be right in there amongst 'em just a tellin' 'em all how nice their Motor Coach was and that they must be right smart folks.

More Hints on Commenting on RV blogs

2011-03-26T23:00:00.003-05:00

As you can see, I had Nilda once again help with the wordin' of the title of this here blog post to set the example to you that you shouldn’t be afraid to seek out the advise of others even if ya know more about it yerownself. Maybe I should just let Nilda write the title to all my writin’ from now on, sort of to give this RV-Dreamers blog a different face and make it refresherer to further expand it’s unlimitless audience.

None of this is gettin' to the point of commenterying and I appoligise fer not plunging write into it the way I did yesterday. Hopefully by now all that informations I give you yesterday has soaked into the poors of yer brain sponge, and you are rarin’ to read more. Yesterday we disgusted writin’ the commentary without reelly readin’ the blog post first. Today we will cover readin’ what ya writ from the prospectorative of the next blog reeder and the blog writer theysownself.

“Sorry that yer day were so bad, tomorrow will be better.” “Glad to hear your dogs are over that bout of pukin’ all over the trailor. It was just as hard on them as it were on you.” “You sure did recover from that appredecktomy operation might quick. Hope to see you next time we drive through town". “Sorry to hear old Toby died, pets are as difficult to replace as husbands.”

“That was the best picture of Aunt Matilda I ever seen, she does look so good a layin’ there lookin’ fer all the world like she is just a sleepin’.” “I couldn’t see ya fer all the beer bottles in front of ya, so ya must have had a good time.” “Like yer Blog". “That kitten picture was so cute.” ”After the all night new moon party, this is what ------ looked like.” (With ------ being the wife, husband, partner or the soon to be former friend of the commentater.)

Like yesterday, I know I.M. givin’ ya a lot to think upon at once, but that are the whole point of this. Take a page from how I.M. writes a commentery, look at the way I.M. concisely complicates his thoughts, propogates his adjulatives and subjects the writer to his point. Meanin’ none of his commenterys is like them above.

I.M understandin’ that it may not be all too easy fer all y’all to entanglement yer brain around them massive ideas that run contraband to how most folks commentery. To shapen that head of yers to an even finer point, here is one of my commenterys: “Yer post caused a extraodorinary extraction of exteraineous extras that evidentially evolved several exclusinary exclamations on my part.” Contrast that to what most folks would commentary: “Great post.” Them differences is so oblivious to you I probably don’t reelly need to explane them, but since that are the hole point of this post, I will.

And a fore you think it are the facet that one has high litaturary like teknics and all, while the other don’t say nothing, that ain’t it atall. The differential between them is in what were in the mind of the writer that writ them. In the one instants its cleer that the writer hadn’t really read the blog, and also that they were just a putting something down to to have said somethin’. In the other it were remarks that showed the writer had read the blog and was a givin’ heart felt commenterys.

I were glad to be able to leed you out of the bogger commenterying wilderness onto the high platoe of litaturary jeaneous so that yer future commenterys will regurgitate the level of RV blogs into the highassed specteral of the blogospeer. Thanks fer reedin’ another great blog post from the ironic of the RV blog world where you will always find I.M. a unhesitately helpin' the unfortunately unknowledgeable unwittingly understand the unintentionally unintelligently unknowable.

I.M.'s Guide To Good Comments on RV Blogs

2011-03-25T23:00:00.001-05:00

This here post is a gonna make ya a better commentater on the blogs y'all visit. And just to show you that everybody needs sum help on occasional, I had Nilda write the title of this here post. I were a figurin' that if I were a goin' out of my way to help them folks in the blogger field too be better blog commentaters, then by lettin' Nilda modificate my writin' I.M. would be takin' the lead in showin' folks that advise from them that knows better are a good thing.

I ain't a gonna day lilly around on this subject, but I.M. proposin' to get right to the heart of the matter. Speakin' of proposin' and hearts, did ya know that Nilda's cousin, Bart Hendershot finally got around to proposin' to old Tammy Jo Jameson. Meaning it finally looks like she were able to corralate a man, or Bart were able to lassieo a woman who would overlook his many things that certainly did need overlookin'. Nilda said she weren't sure who got the best of that deal, while I.M. a tryin' to figure which of 'em got the worst of it, which I finally decided were a tie.

I.M. afraid that I already fergot what that point about commentarying on RV blogs was that I was a gonna make, but let me take off from that point and procedure on down the road to not makin' y'all into exterior commentators like them fellers on PDS, TMT, ESNP and the like. Which are because most of them radio and TV gals and fellers ain't a commenteryin' on the RV lifestye, but is normally havin' something to do with spots or potlotics. It's one thing to say somethin' bout somebody that has got puttin' balls into holes as they’res goal in life, or seein' who can get to be the richest after gittin' his or herownself electioned to some office where showin' how much badder the other potlotician is, are the best way to get ahead.

What I.M. talkin' about is reel world commenterying, a writin' words on somebodies blog so as to make whatever they were a tryin' to say ununderstandable to the two or three folks that read them things. This might bee a somewhat delicosious subject fer some folks, what with them not havin' the technical and fieness that I.M. might have on these here matters, so if yer weak kneed and soft of stomack, maybe you better postpone yer readin' of this here blog until tomorrow.

Like I said oregonically, we are a plungin' wright into the subject at hand, which seems to be the way most folks go about commenteryin' on blogs. Most commentaters seem to not have the cents of the proberval bull in the milking parlor. Typographically they is either a relation, a life long good fiend, or knows the person a writin' the blog in some up close and personal way, which they may or may not want to deluge. It are this closeediness that leads to the typical commentery left on the typical blog for the typical reader to reed.

You knows exactly what I are a meanin' cause if ya read RV and mobile, mobile home blogs, which ya has to be doin' since this are one them blogs itsownself, ya knows expressively what I.M. is a meaning. As I has been makin' so many good points as to how you should be a commenterying on blogs too this point, I.M. thinkin' it would be best to give all this a chance to soak into them brains of my reeders, which in several ways resembells sponges, so as not to overwhelm them. I figure that I can recap all these many points tomorrow and give ya an example or two of what a goodly worded commentery by a goodly knowing commentater, (which by that time you should be) would look like.

Computer Education

2011-03-24T23:00:00.004-05:00

After all them problems I was a havin' some weaks ago, what with this gosh darnd computer a doin’ things it weren’t a supposed to be a doin’ and all, I figures maybe that feller that taught me the class,” All there is to know about Blogger blogging, and more” maybe didn’t know as much about this blogger thing as he let on. Guess that’s what you git when you go to the big city to take on some learnin’ instead of going to the local library and tryin’ to puzzle it out by yourownself. And now that I think about it, he did bear a mighty strong resemblence to that salesman feller I see’d at that RV dealer place I was a checkin’ out when I got into town a day early.

So being done with them fellers that say they knows it all and more, cause now I knows that’s the same as saying that the only thing he knows is more than me, which in that case weren’t much. But shucks, even us writin’ jenuises has got to have a few knowledgeable gaps to fill in. Nilda’s been trying to get me to stay on the subject matter at hand, as she puts it, but my mind is so overstuffed with ideas that they just come a spurtin’ out in all directions, sorta like the first time I ever tried to milk a cow.

Now where I was agoin’ with this, were that the computer and this here internet has got more things on it than a body can hardly get there mind around, even on a good day, which were why I was more than a mite bit puzzled when I come acrost this thing called LiveWriter. Now I sure don’t know about you but it sure did confound me more than a little as to just what it were. First I throwed my mind around that live writer one way, then backin’ up some, I took a run at it from another direction. But it seemed just no matter how I snuck up on it, it just weren’t makin' sense.

Figurin’ it probably weren’t a good idea to ask Nilda about my computer problem, as I didn’t want to be a ruinin’ her image of me as to knowin’ all there is to know about this bloggerin’ thing, I took me a walk through the RV Park we is a stayin’ in. All the time a lookin’ fer someone who looked like they knowed a thing or too about computers like I do. You’d think that with all them fellers a sittin’ out in there lawn chairs, a watchin’ the world pass them by, that one of them would have knowed at least a little something about this live writer thing.

Try as I might, upon asking them if they’d knowed bout live writer, they’d sorta lean forward in that chair they had been a glued to just a minute ago, kind a shake there head, then lean back again, tippin’ up their hat and a reachin’ under it with the other hand to rub and scratch away, afore grabbin’ hold of them chair arms and sayin’ that they’d never heard tell of it.

Bout the fourth time that happened I noticed somethin’ mitey particular about what they was a doing. Everyone of them, when they tipped that hat back were as bald as a fresh plucked chicken. I puzzled on that fer a moment or too, then I figured them fellers out. Why none of them fellers didn’t know nothin’ about nothin’. It must be that whensoever anyone asked them a question, they took to a rubbin’ and a scratchin’ their head to the point that they’d wared off all their hair.

That meant I was on my own when it come to understanding this live writer thing. Seemed to me that a live writer should be the easiest thing in the world to understand, cause there weren’t no way a dead writer could write. I were about to give up when I come a cross this blog that had some pointers on a usin’ live writer, and I been a pooring over it for the passed several days. So if’n ya notice an improvement in my writin’ its because of me understandin’ LiveWriter. If it don’t improve, it ain’t gonna be no worse than some dead writer, so you all won’t notice no difference. I.M., yer source fer techknowledgably fer fulltime bloggers.

I.M. was Stumped

2011-03-23T23:00:00.002-05:00

When the time come to eat, the four of us, Joe Ed, Matilda, me and Nilda trooped up there to that city fellers sight like the missionerys come to relieve the staving of Africa, we was a carrying so much food. We was a wondering if’n we was a feedin’ the whole campground we was so burdened down, but once we got there it were just that city feller and his wife. They had their picnic table all set up nice and pretty with a cloth on the top and a candle in the middle, next to which was big dish of tater chips. By the time we put all our food on the table there weren’t hardly room to sit and eat, though we did manage to squeeze in.

All the time we was a eatin’ that city feller was a tellin’ storys of all the places they’ed been to and how nice people always were a givin’ ‘em things, what with him being such a famous writer and all. Funny thing was he kept a tellin’ us what a great writer he were but we was never a seein’ anything he writ. With my writin’ Nilda is always a showin’ eveyone she runs across what I last wrote, even them ladies at the beauty parlor, though they is demandin’ more of that literature than I can rightly turn out.

We was a talkin’ about a pullin’ that stump and this here city feller was makin’ out to the ladies like he dun all the hard work, a showin’ up when Joe Ed and Me couldn’t break that stump loose and single handedly finishin’ pullin’ it out by hisownself. Seemed like that was stretchin’ the point just more than a mite, but Ma always taught us as young’uns to respect our hosts, so I kept my yap shut, though I wanted to say something the worst way. Joe Ed was over there a dozin’ on and off so he weren’t a goin' to chime in and tell it like it really were, so it just stayed the way the city feller told it.

When it come time to leave, the city feller said that his wife was so tuckered out that she wasn’t goin’ to able to do much work around the house fer the next day our so, so if’n we wanted to just leave our left overs, so as to chip in and help them out as he put it, they’d be mighty appreciative. Matilda and Nilda looked at each other, gathered up all their leftovers and lit a shuck fer where we was parked.

Joe Ed and me, being raised to be polite, thanked that city feller and his wife for what little they did to help with supper, though I will say his wife surely did look a bit embarrassd by it all, even if he didn’t. Then as Joe Ed and me was a walkin’ away I’d a sworn I heard him say somethin’ about how we should’a chipped in more, course my ears could’a been deceivin’ me, but I’ve got to say that everything that took place that hole day surely had me stumped.

I.M. is Stumped

2011-03-22T23:00:00.001-05:00

Continuin' my story of yesterday, their’s the six of us, Joe Ed, Matilda, Me, Nilda, the city feller and his wife a planning out the work. The ladies say they can clean up all the trash and such as well as the tall grass and weeds, which leaves the brush and such to us men. Then as Joe Ed heads off to get the tools we’ll be a needin’ that city feller says he needs to go back to his 5th wheel for a might and make sure all his computer work is catched up to date. Which of course I didn’t think much off at the time.

So when Jo Ed comes back, the five of us all start workin’ away rather than wait for that city feller. I got to say that city fellers wife were a right hard worker, pullin’ weeds and all with the best of ‘em. Joe Ed and me made quick work of the brush, but in doin’ so we uncovered this big old stump that must have once been the grandaddy of all trees. We commenced to diggin’ and pryin’ and pullin’ and pushin’. All of which took most of the rest of the afternoon.

Now while Joe Ed’s got the strength of several, even he’s got limits and he was just about to reach them, when this city feller shows back up and with a big simile says that it looks like we could use some help, and with him a lendin’ a hand, which were it were he lended, that stump come out slicker than a greased hog. Then he offers to take the tools back up to the park office, and me and Joe Ed bein’ too wore out to do it, we tells him to go ahead. He comes back whistlin’ and smilin’ and starts talkin’ bout the group meal so quick we forgets to ask him about the free campin’ coupons we was supoosed to get for helpin’ on the park workday.

This city feller sure were a talker, cause the next thing we knows, he’s organizing the evenin’ group meal the six of us is to be a sharin’ after that hard day of workin’ together. He’s got some kind of paper all printed out from his computer, one that he says assigns each couple what they should bring to the meal that we is gonna be a sharing. I was a lookin’ at what we was to bring, and while there were five or six things, it shore didn’t seem like it should’a took him all afternoon just to figure them few things out and get ‘em printed on a piece of paper.

He said we should all gather up at his place about six o’clock, but to bring all our own chairs and such. Nilda was exhausted from working so hard all afternoon, but she set about cookin’ that fried chicken, a makin’ tater salid, cole slaw, a big pitcher of iced tea and a bakin’ a chocolate cake, just like that feller had down on that piece of paper he give us. Me, I.M. started workin’ on my blog post and peelin’ taters and such as Nilda needed help.

I could hear the pans a banging next door at Jo Ed’s and knew Matilda was a workin’ as hard as Nilda a fixin’ things for the feast we was a havin’ that night. Meanwhile I could hear Joe Ed snorin’ loud enough to wake the dead and then some. Mostly cause he’d done the work of two men fer most of the day.

I.M. is About to be Stumped

2011-03-21T23:00:00.001-05:00

This mobile, mobile home life can lead to the most interesting people you’ll ever come a crossed, even moreso then when I was down in Simpsonville a getting’ my degree. I got to admit that when me and Nilda went to learn at the foot of the great Kiva in that Harrisburg town in Pennsyvania, I see’d more than a few of them interestin' fellers a sellin’ them mobile, mobile homes, along with the most interesting stories I’d heard in a possums age.

Didn’t seem to mind what it was you owned, had owned or was now a lookin’ at, they had owned one themownselves and could talk yer leg off about it. Since it were all goin’ over me and Nilda’s head, they could a been jabberin’ bout camels on the north poll as far as we was concerned. So while they was shorely interestin’ people, they was a tellin’ storys that was weigh over my head, and tall as I am, that were a fer tall piece of tellin’.

Now the reason I’m a gonin’ on bout all this here peoples that have crossed my path, specially since I sure weren’t interested in crossin’ there’s, was this feller that we met at the place we been a stayin’ during the repairin’ of Ol’ 5th Wheel’s latest breakdown. Let me tell ya, he were a feller that made all them fellers sellin' them mobile, mobile homes out to be a lookin’ more like pecan sorters in a pickle factory, he were so much more interesting than them.

We’d been a stayin’ there fer a while, a getting’ ta know folks and a havin’ good times swapin’ stories with more an few lies blended in, when this feller I’m a talkin’ bout comes in with one of them so called 5th wheels that really ain’t got five wheels, but the fellers a pullin’ ‘em don’t know that, so they just call ‘em what the salesman that took there money said they was called.

All was a going well fer everybody, though some folks was sayin’ he were some big time writer feller, which just naturally got my curiosity up, what with me being into writn’ this here blog, and also some literaturary stories fer the local ladies at a former place we was at, all of which has resulted in me bein’ a writer of some renouned myself. He were a nice enough feller, though it did appear to me that whenever the conversation got a round to writin’ he was always a talkin’ about hisownself and wouldn’t let me get a word in lengthwise.

Where I’m a goin’ with this here tale is what happened this past weekend when the monthly park work and eat day come up. They usually pair up two or three couples to work together and then they do a little relaxing and sharin’ of the vittles afterward. So this time me and Nilda ends up a workin’ with Joe Ed and Matilda, as well as this feller and his wife, who’s names I got on the tip of my tongue but just can’t get out.

While Matilda is just a little tiny slip of a woman, Joe Ed is a steam engine and red squirrel all rolled into one. He’s not only always a workin’ he does the work of two people without even breakin’ a sweat. So when they assigned to jobs it weren’t no surprise when we got the one a clearin’ the brush and such from inside the turnaround at the far end of the park.

RV-Dreamers Glossery, C-F

2011-03-20T23:00:00.000-05:00

This here is more of that help for newlies that I begun some days back. It probably went over the head of many of them folks, and somebody suggested I start an area called Helpful Hints 4 Newlies on this here blog. The only problem with that is most of my readers bein’ cousin’s and as such, thy ain't gonna need no advice like that since they ain’t never likely to round up enough wheels to make their mobile homes, mobile and so become a newlie. So for now I’ll just work on this here glossery some more.

Camper Shell
A mobile home, also sometimes called a non-mobile, mobile home. Examples of several of these is usually a lyin' around on most of the places up on the Gulch and is what's left after they take the good stuff that might work out to remodel their new places which is also one. Have also heard it used on occasion with a slightly different pronunciation, kinda misplacing the “s”, to describe a really bad campin' spot.

CCC
This one sure beats all, since it's been some 75 years or more since the CCC was last up towards the Gulch a fixing roads and things so's them city fellers could have a money payin’ job. Some feller told me that all mobile, mobile home'ers is concerned about it, so I stuck it in. I don't know, maybe me and Nilda is two smart to be mobile, mobile home'ers.

Class A mobile, mobile home
I sure know Ol' 5th Wheel ain't one of these. Fact is, its such a heap of junk I'm not sure it would even be called a Class Z mobile, mobile home. Supposidly them Class A's is built on truck or bus bases, and has got lots of room. We see them with them side places that slide out so you can be a sittin' in them about 6 inches from your neighbor a sittin' in theirs a looking back at you the same as you is a lookin’ at him. Them fellers seem to enjoy the closeup and in your face way of livin' but it ain't fer me and Nilda
.
Dump station
RV park entertainment center. The really good ones got elevated ampatheater seating for the best view. Its best to always check which way the wind is a blowin' afore takin' a seat. Always watch for an mobile, mobile home with paper license plates and the man and the woman a jawin' at each other when then get out. It's sometimes just worth payin' to camp to watch the goin's ons at this place. A word of advice: always try to be the one watching the entertainment rather than the one a providin' it.

Fiver
First time I heard this referrin' to a mobile, mobile home was when that city feller cousin of mine and his cute wife :):) got lost up on the Gulch. I could understand why they got lost what with him a callin' it a "fiver or fifth wheel” at various times during our conversin' when the thing only had four wheels. So if'n you run across somebody a talkin' about a fiver when it's only got four, give 'em a wide path cause they may have got a little to much of that RV Dreamers dust up their nose.

More About Findin’ Parts

2011-03-19T23:00:00.005-05:00

Afore I continue with this true life tail of the fulltiming lifestye, I needs to do one of the ligature type cuts that authors use. Mr. Busnutty is just to long to keep a usin' so I.M. shortenin' his name down somewhat in this post, though you probably won't even notice I dun it.

I wasn’t sure who was going to bust a gut first, Butty or me, but at last he cut loose with the biggest belly laugh I’d heard in a coons age, and it was lookin’ like my day was goin’ from bad to worse. Then he whacks me on the back with one of his big old hands, and says, “Boy, you got the bus to beat all buses.”

I took that as a good sign, and waited for more. He was a licking his lips and rubbin’ his hands together like he was getting ready to chaw down on some of Ma’s elderberry pie, when he adds, “ It’s got more variety in its parts than Mr. Heinz had when he come up with that 57 varieties number of his. Well now, that didn’t sound all that bad, especially since he’d stopped laughing, so I just kept a doing what I was a doin’ which was nothin’.

He then commenced to give me a run down on the pedigree of Ol’ 5th Wheel, of which there was so much, he lost me after the second pause. In a nutshell, we were the proud owners of the most cobbled together bus in the history of mankind. Whether it was that cousin of Nilda’s we got it from or somebody else, everything worth anything had be takin’ off that thing, and replaced with the most broken down, worthless piece of crap that would do something similar to what the original piece was a doing before it was took off.

The heck with the air cleaner and the brake lines being different from the original, it didn’t even have the same engine or transmission that it should. Then he really laid it to me. Nye on half them parts wasn’t even American, they was from all over the world, with the brakes being from South America of all places.

Butty was a joking that was probably because them South American brakes had failed so many times goin’ down those mountain roads they got, they probably traded them in on something from up here that would actually work. Now I was beginnin’ to see why me and Nilda was always broke down.

All this was interesting, but it wasn’t getting’ us back on the road to our next breakdown, or to put it as I’m learning to put some humor into this writin’ business, on the road to our next brakedown. Sheesh. That was bad, even for a feller like me that’s such an accompliced wrighter.

I never did figure out if Butty just felt sorry for me, or whether he wanted the challenge to end all challenges, but ever since then whenever we breakdown, all I got to do is pick up the phone, give him a call and explain what busted, or fell off this time. Usually within a day he calls back and tells me what the part is, where one is, and what it will cost me.

Take this last problem for example. Don’t matter how many times we try to fix them brakes, they are still gonna break. This last time it was some kind of reverse rear actuator thing that fell off according to Butty. Only it ain’t one of those easy to replace, it’ll be there in a few days, parts.

Oh no, this is some special South American part that hain’t been made in over half a century, meaning they is few and far between. So I wasn’t surprised when I didn’t hear from Butty for several days, and when he did call, it weren’t with good news. Seems this actuator thingy is about as scarce as the hair on Grandpa Tomlinson’s head after he stuck his head into the gas oven so he could see better to lite it.

We’re going to be here for a while, even though he didn’t have no trouble locating that part somewhere in Peru of all places. It’s only a couple of days to ship it here by air, the problem is that they say the mountain climber feller is saying it will take him nigh on 3 days to climb down in that ravine where the bus with this part is a laying, and then another five or six to haul it back out. And now that you can see how me and Nilda’s day went, just exactly how did your day go, and are you sure that you want to take up this mobile, mobile home full time life?