Feller Ships

Back, years ago, when me and Nilda first took up this here mobile, mobile home lifestye, we turned Ol’ 5th Wheel to the west so we could experience some of the country we had never scene, and with Ol' 5th Wheel a breakin’ down so often, weren’t none of that seenery exactly flyin' by. Later we finally got way out west where things looked mighty different, and if you ain’t never been to Bever Dam, Rockport, Central City and Powder City, you sure got an eyeful of natural beauty in store fer you someday.

Then we just kept on a travelin’ for months and almost afore we knowed it, we was to the place where Kentucky, Illinios and Missouri all come together. I knowed folks would be a trying to tease me, askin’ if we saw what all them tourists went to Cairo to see, but no matter where we looked, we never did see any of them syrup factories they is supposed to be so famous fer. I guess I’ll just have to fool them fellers tryin to get a laugh around them campfires, and when they ask me if I saw what Cairo is supposed to have, I'll say I sure did, meanin' the joke will be on them. See, even years afore I started writtin’ this here blog, my brain was a lot smarter than most folks a livin’ this way.

Funny how you can take a detour thru some syrup factories on the way to talkin’ about feller ships, but that’s the way of many out here on the fulltime road. Much further into our trip, I believe it were after that fourth transmission repair in five weeks, we started seein’ the most unusual sights a body could see. It were when we was out in the middle of dessert country, there not being much of anything a growin’ and if it did, it were something that jabbed ya, stabbed ya, or stuck to ya in such a way that a team of mules would have had to of pulled fer an hour to yank it out.

Mixed in amongst all this was somethin' that were puzzlating to us. Which were, how’s come there was all these here ships out in the middle of the dessert belonging to these fellers with names like me and Nilda had never run into afore. You’ll have to excuse me fer not askin’ Nilda about them, especially since she had the map and them books we was a follerin'. The ones that kept tellin’ us to stop at Mysterious Trees and Mysterious Hills, and Mysterious Houses, all of which had the same lookin’ feller out front a tryin’ his best to get you to pay to see his Mysterious whatever. Havin’ scene that Mystery Theater 3000 a time or too on the TV, I weren’t havin’ none of it.

Sorry I got away from them fellers with ships, but we’ve had so many things happen to us since we joined in the fulltime mobile, mobile life, I.M. gets mixed up every once in a short while. So there we was, right in the middle of the dessert and I starts seeing these signs them fellers was puttin’ out about there ships. Nilda and me weren't pure pigeons about this boater thing, what with my studyin’ up to help that city feller in the Keys, I knowed folks usually put the name of they’re boat on the starboard end and not out in front of it.

I tried to keep track of them and there was: Oak Tree Fellowship, Riverview Fellowship, Grace Fellowship, Community Fellowship, which might have been one of them party boats, Faith Fellowship, Victory Fellowship, maybe it was a racin’ boat, Champion’s Fellowship, which might be the feller that won all them races, St. Mark’s Fellowship, St Luke’s Fellowship, which was more confusioning cause I thought them boats were a supposed to be named after women amd not men. And then there was Refiners Fire Fellowship, which must have been the only thing left when the refinery burned down, cause there were no sign of a refinery anywhere.

The only other thing I could think of were that dessert was really an old beach, what with all the sand there and all, and with all the water long gone, all these ships was beached high and dry, and so the fellers that owned these ships had all put these big signs out in front callin’ attention to them so that anyone drivin' by, that wanted a boat would know where to look. That’s one of the joys of travelin’ down the roads in this life of freedom we live, we get an insight into the lives of some of the really weird folks that live out there. Though I never did figure out why they was only open on Sunday mornin's and Wednesday evenin's. Just it were just one of the mysterys of life.

Best Blogs

Nilda was a watchin’ that Musican Man movie the other nite while I.M. were a toilin’ away at my blog writin’, by way of researchin' the internet, when I.M. come up upon the weirdest blog ever see’d by all hummuskind since it’s beginning’s. Now as one fulltime mobile, mobile home person two another, you and me both knows that the two keys to this here lifestye can be summed up in just two words. And them two things are what most of us is a doin’ most of the time, mostly. :)
Nilda dragged me a way from the exasperation at what I.M. were a seein’ and a reedin’ about them Best Blogs, with a comment about just how much she liked that there musican man's music, which were a sort of a challenge to me. But then it got me to thinkin’, not that I ain’t unusually thinkin, cause as any reader of this here blog knows, I.M. is so shot full of thoughts, and a hole lot more, that there ain’t hardly blog space to holed them all. The result of Nilda a thowin’ down the guantlet like she did, was what got I.M. to thinkin’ bout howsoever much of his brain do it take to write one of them there best blogs .
I knows my cousin’s is all a goin’ moonie over the cleaver way I hack thru the jugle of the bloggin’ world to expose this Best Blog blot, leastaways they would if’n they understands any of my writn’. While the remainder of my reeders is a probably wonderin’ if with a brain sharp as I.M. hasn’t got, are I.M. a gonna be givin’ up this here blog life him havin’ the unacknowledged Best Blog, and be a headin’ to the big city to use my writin’ abilitys too make me and Nilda even more rich than we is now.
I always knowed I.M. had talent, but it just couldn’t find the outlet it were a a seekin’. When we’d have a dance up on the Gulch, I.M. could make a fiddle do things such that whenever I.M. gots up to play, it weren’t long afore all them folks would get so teary eyed at my playin’, they’s all would have to go outside till I.M. were done, even if it were a rainin’ ticks and field mice. Seemed my singin’ were the same, and at the sound of my voice a singin’ one of them love mell-load-ees I favored in my singin’ reparatoire the same thing would happen. First the womenfolk, soon to be follered by the menfolk, would commiserate to a groanin’ and a hollerin’ out of the shear rapture of the moment as it were.
Their sounds would git so loud that my singin’ could no longer be heard above them, the sound of which continued until I were a done singing. Many a person has told me that one of the things I has missed out most in life, is not to be able to be on the hearin’ end instead of the producin’ end when I is a playin’ or a singin’. Shucks, I gets so much pleasure out of givin’ them folks all there own pleasure, that it are ok with me. :)
Looks like I been so busy a braggin’ mineownself up the way all them other folks is always a doin’, that I let my words get a way from me again. Howsoever, knowing that you has really gotted a lot out of what I has writ today, and knowing that you is a hungerin’ fer more, I will be a writtin’ on them Best Blogs again in the future.
And upon further resuscitating on the matter, I ain’t a gonna be chargin’ off to the big city to sell my writin’ rites and become a famous word wright. I’ll be write here, a rightin’ this blog to help you live the mobile, mobile lifestye the right way, which I know will make y’all so happy yer probably got tears a buildin’ up in yer eye’s and a moanin’ and a groanin' like my fiddlin’ and singin’ fans. I.M. glad to make yer day so special.

Fulltime RVing Types, The Basics, 002

This is the first in a seieus of posts to help them that can’t help themselves and need someone else to do it for them. Seems like most folks descide to become a fulltime mobile, mobile home person afore they know what it is to be a fulltimer in the first place. Which is why there is so many foreims, websights, and such that’s got either all kinds of questions on them from know nothing’s, or is loaded up with information designed to make money for the websight owner while partin’ the know nothings from their money.

There’s a hole lot of them folks out there, on both sides of that coin, including some that has became almost a cull. I’ll leave all that for the future, since with this blog post you is startin’ at the very bottom of the manure pile so to speak. Them other sights start out a figuring you is already a havin’ all kinds o dreams about fulltiming and right off they ask and answer such things as: “What is fulltiming?”, or “Is fulltiming for you?" On this sight we figure if you knowed that much ya wouldn’t be a askin’ the questions I see folks askin' on them sights and foreims, so we are beginnin’ long afore where those sights begin in disgusting about the fulltime lifestye.

Even so, I.M. starting with the description of a fulltimer, which is just that. Think about it. If you were a part timer would you call yerself a fulltimer. If you was a vacationor, would you call yerself, a full timer. Does a feller changin’ his own tire hisownself call himself a mechanick, how about if yer wife pumps her own gas, is she a macanick? Lordy, no so why would anyone need to start out with the definition of what fulltimer were, other than they is just trying to fill them empty headed folks with something that makes them think that blog/websight is knowledgeable about this fulltime life

So takin’ up the curmudgeon that has been throwed down afore us, we commiserate this series with the first part of: Mobile, Mobile Home Life, The Hole Story; I.M. fillin’ yer mind with all he knows; Descriptions of them that don't’ know what they is.

I.M. starting off by listin’ them out, then we will take each by its ownself and go into deep detales bout the in’s, out’s, up’s downs, and what’s often left out, know as an outie, by them other so called x-spurts in the fulltime lifestye.

• Dreamers
• Ifnsheels
• Iffnheels
• Wantstas
• Newlies
• Imas
• Ustas

Any of youin’s that is already a livin’ the fulltime mobile, mobile home lifestye will immeliorately recognize that list. For you folks that's below the Ustas and the Imas, I.M. a goin' to get ya wright educationed in all these words so that when yer a settin’ around yer first fulltime campfire you won’t be an idiot like I were afore I learned all this. Think of it like the Kung Flu Grand Master taking ya under his wing and a passin’ all he knows on to you. So right now yer a grassflopper takin' little bites, but by the time I.M. done you’ll be more like one of the columbinds that eats grain by the field full.

And carryin’ on with that theme, this is more than enough fer yer first lesson as I don’t want to be overwhelmin’ ya with my volumeless knowledge to the point that you gets yerself all confusioned like them folks that are in the culls and such.

RV Dreams Interpreted

Some time back I.M. had an suppository on RV dreams where in some of what are a causin’ y’all nightmares and the like were explanationed as only I.M. are capable. The response to that post were so underwhelming that I.M. are going to further delve into the world of RV dreams in hopes of effortlessly and enigmatically enhancing the education of everybody,so as to reach the few that were unreached by that there first post.

Today I.M. not going to be going back over that first post. I.M.are  not going to be askin’ ya if yer troubled by dreams of RV’s goin’ over cliffs. I.M. not gonna be explain’ the meanin’ of that, and I.M. not gonna be talkin’ bout the fact that it really means yer in downward spiral and can’t keep up with what are goin’ on day by day in yer daily RV mobile, mobile home lifestye.

No, I.M. ain’t gonna do that, what I.M.gonna do are to take a look at the details of them RV dreams y’all are a havin’ and try to give y’all some insights into what them different things in them mean. Lets us just start with the most basics of the basics, y’all just wokened up from a dream that had an RV in it. Now we ain’t concernin’ ourownselves with what kind of RV it were, or what yer a don’ with it, just that it were an RV. What it really means is that yer the biggest and the baddest thing around, and that you got power and prestige, that folks look up to ya even if ya don’t got no money or much brains. See how easy it are to interrupt these her RV dreams.

Now to add a little twist to that RV Dream, supposin’ that there RV were a drivin’ into one of the black holes like they got out there in space. Now yer probably thinkin’ that are a referenced to drivin’ that thing down the road and a a gittin’ lost, which are why y’all gots I.M. here to point you in the right direction. Wrong, what it is a meanin’ are that if’n ya gits one of then RV’s, all the money ya gots is gonna get sucked right out of yer pocket, never to be seen again and yer not gonna have nothin’ to show fer it. See how simple it are.

Now we are gonna deal with what mite be considerationed a delicate subject, but it are something that everybodies whose owned a mobile, mobile home has to face up close and personal, the RV toilet. Which unless yer getting’ one of them million dollar mansions on wheels at gonna work like no toilet ya ever seed afore. Leavin’ the disgusting of RV toilets to another time, there are generally two types of RV toilet dreams. The ones that can be dumped into the toilet category, and the ones that can be tossed into the toilet paper category.

Since I.M. are so flush with knowledge on these things lets talk about RV toilet dreams first. Now y’all make think it are a reminder to dump yer black tank, but that’s why yer the reeder and I.M. the righter. What it reelly means are that yer lettin’ yerself get clogged up with a bunch of  negative crap. Ya need to just dump it and get rid of it, even if ya got to squeeze yerself into some place ya don’t want to be to do it.

As far as that toilet paper goes, were it single ply or double ply? Not that it matters but it are interestin’ just how detailed RV dreams can be. What it means is that it are time to clean up after some emotional outburst that has spued some of yer internalized emotional crap all over the place. Just wipe up what are remaining and it won’t be long till all them problems is dissolved, assumin’ it were single ply of course.

As always, I.M. is effortlessly and enigmatically enhancing the education of everybody. And Lavonne, I.M. has not forgetted yer request, plus he are workin’ on answerin’ some of  the questions that are appearin’ in the comments to the posts.

Help Writing a RV Blog, Part I

Since I.M. are the unofficial, official statistical genius fer the RV Dreamers :):):) websight, and the exterminator of the unmitigated success it are havin’ in the RV mobile, mobile home blog world, I.M. thinkin’ maybe it would be of help to others to write about the success formulation that I.M. are followerin’. With so many of the blogs out there it are easy to get very confusioned on which are which, and what which, each are a tryin’ what to be. Helpfully that are where this post will be helpin’ unravel them knots that has the would be blogger not pointed in the right direction.

First off let me say that startin to write one of these here blogs are right easier than a keepin’ on to be writin’ it. In a peanut hull, if you ain’t a word wright, it are hard to write right, but are even harder to keep a writin’ right after that first rush of words has been flung out to the unsuspectin’ masses.

When I.M first started this here blog he were just tryin’ to keep all them multiple branches, forks and dead twigs that are in me and Nilda’s family trees up to date on what was a goin’ on in the mobile, mobile life of one of the smarterest, if not the smartest, cousin they got. What really surprised I.M. were how quickly the Russian branch of them trees tracked us down and started commentarying on I.M. posts. In fact the very first time I.M. posted this blog, I.M. got one of them commentaryings that had something like this “увеличение пениса полового влечения” in it. So I.M. were a thinkin’ it were just one of the Oklahoma cousin’s that dropped out of school the first day and didn’t have no ability with the language liken I.M. do.

I.M. were a showin’ it to Nilda and she gots to laughin’ so hard several of her bust buttons was a being overstrained and it looked like something were about to be poppin’ out that shouldn’t be. When she finally caught her breathe anuff to say something, it were to information me that it weren’t no relation a writin’, at least no American relation, it were Russian, and probaly should have said something like this “Р. Мечтатели это хороший сайт” , but it didn’t. Still I.M. were excitmented that someone were readin’ his blog, and if’n y’all have writ a blog yer probably rememberin’ yer first few commentaryings to.

I.M. has staryed very badly off’n the intended subject, which I.M. gonna get right back to in the near future, but first I.M. has gots to point out that very first commentarying that were actually from an American, which as I.M. were too learn, had to be a distant cousin of mine and Nilda. It were from MeriKay, the words of which won’t be reprinted here, but it were joyful to get some feed back that could actually be read by myownself without askin’ Nilda what part of the world it come from.

Course all things ain’t always what they seam to be, and this were definitely one of them. This MeriKay were a makin’ commentaryings and I.M. didn’t know nothin’ bout her, so it were time to act like that TV investigater feller, Geraldo Revered Vira, or what ever his name were. That were when I learned MeriKay just had to be from one of the long lost branches of the family. I.M. being nice to her cause Nilda said to be, but I really think it weren’t a branch of my family, but rather a dead twig of my family she were from. That are because she are an animal head lady. Yes, it are true, she has surrounded herownself with a bunch of animal heads. All of which goes to show that iff’n ya write the most interestin’ RV blog there are, it will attract the most interestin’ reeders. And fer them other regular commentaryers, just wait, yer day are a coming to. Fer them that's interested, check out MeriKay's blog, and her animal heads, and I.M. are not a pullin' yer leg.

I.M. has been gittin’ some good questions of late, though them postin’ them mite be a might questionable themownselves, and the answers should be forthcomin’ in the near future, soon as I.M. done doin’ all the enormous amounts of research they is requiring. :)

So that are it fer today, and I.M. hopin’ all them writin’ hints were a great help with yer own blog writin’.

More of Yer RV FAQ’s Answered

As part of our program here at RV-Dreamers to help the unhelpable misunderstand the unknowable, the following is more answers to those Frequently Asked Questions that so often come up in fulltime mobile, mobile home campfire discussions.

Living in Canada, do I need to do anything special to fulltime in cold weather?
I is always a puzzlin' when I read questionables like this. Didn’t ya ever here that sayin', "forwarded is fer foriners". Ya being a foriner and all, a livin' north of the Masonic Nixon line, I'd think you'd already know the answer. In the winter smart folks move south of that Immasonary line, specially the ones from Canada. Or maybe you just recently infiltrated into Canada and ain't learned that everybody up their leaves in the winter. You need to remember that old Canaderien saying, "If the leaves is a leavin', you'd best be a leavin' two.”

I pick it up tomorrow, what is your best tip or advice on pulling my brand new 5th wheel?
Make sure you take at least a pickup truck with you when you go, since I know from the exspearamints of a cousin, a car just ain't a gonna work to pull one of them things a round. Some fellars like them medumb type trucks and then there's the even bigger semi-truck fellers which even I don't know nothin' about, but a lookin' at the typical size of their bellies, they buy them trucks to fit themownselves as much as they're mobile, mobile home. One last peace of advice, make sure that you get that 5th wheel for yer 5th wheel. Cause all of them salesmen will tell ya yer a gettin' 5 wheels, but then keep the one back to make more profit on the sale.

How do I know the air in my tires is correct?
This are about the most dumbliest question I's ever heard. I don't know what planet yer from, but on the one I lives on, air is air. Maybe you got two much of that air, it a havin' replaced yer brain.

What's the best all around cleaner for my new mobile, mobile home?
In my case it's Nilda. As fer you, if'n ya ain't got somebody along with ya, it's good reason to join one of them Lonesomer than you sociable mobile, mobile home groups thats out their. If you see one of them Lonesomers a scrubbin' away on their own mobile, mobile home, thats the one ya want to sit near at the next lonesomers social to check out what other attributts they might have.

What should I put in my new mobile, mobile home?
If'n I were you, which I ain't thank goodness, I' think you yerownself would be one of the first things you'd want to put into it. After that, for most folks it's normally however much you can pile into it too overload it two the point that you just got enough horsepower too get it movin'. As fer stoppin' thats the easy part as most folks just decides to run into something, which works everytime. Ya also might want to put in a bunch of tires, cause yer gonna have to change one every mile or so.


Do I weigh to much?
What a dumb question. You sure you ain't a separated at birth, long lost sister of Billy Bobs Boat and Bait brothers, Dumb and Dumber? The onliest reason you is a even askin' that question in the first place is so we menfolk will smile (to cover up the snicker) and say you look just wright. Not all us men are as stoopid as womenfolk thinks we is. I'll bet you is one of them bottle blondes ain't you?

I.M.is Ready to Get Back to Normal, What Ever That Is

Fer the past week and a half or so I.M. has been reel busy with doin’ something that only happens on occasion, maybe several times a year or so, and as such has not been able to do all the commentarying on folks blogs that he were accustomed to be a doin’. But now with all that a hind of him and Nilda, he are a gonna be aback reedin’ them there blogs of y’all and a commentarying on them as usual in the next day or so. :)

I.M. has also gots lots of stories to be a writin’ bout that rally that Lem were to, and he may be a using some of that in the future posts on this here website. There are so much a goin’ on in the mobile, mobile home world that I.M. gonna have to be a writin’ on a multitudinous of subjects over the next several weeks or so. I.M. thinkin’ there is a bunch of folks a hungerin’ fer the basics of the mobile. mobile home lifestye to the extent that I.M. is gonna have to double up on his 001 series fer them that don’t know nothin’. :)

It are also apparent that there is a whole big untapped market out there fer what I.M. are a peddlin’, and that the possibility of gittin’ more folks to Tip In, there being such an underwhelming  response to date, that I.M. is gonna have to be investin’ more time in the researcherinn’ of his reeders in order to keep providin’ the most current mobile, mobile home info available anywhere at anytime in any form. :)

Not to disappoint his reeders, but I.M. is plum exhaustered from all the goin’s on of the past week and so this are gonna have to be the shortest blog post ever, but be forewarned. I.M. will be back in full force in the next couple of days. Alrighty then, I.M. lookin’ to better days in the near future, mostly cause it can’t get no more worse than it has been. Sheesh.