Were they ever surprised to learn that we had been traipsin' around the country enjoying the retirement life cause of the fruits of my labors due to my degree I had got years ago. Most of them boys don't have a clue about how to get ahead in life and make some real money. Maybe this is a good time to tell you what I told them about how I got ahead in life. :)
First I ever heard about these "degrees" and how they could get you ahead in life was when my sister Maybelle, that's my younger sister Maybelle, not my older sister Mabel, brought her friend, Tomato Blossom Parks :):):) back with her at Christmas many years ago. It turned out that Tomato Blossom's :):):) parents where some sort of hippies, and since Tomato Blossom :):):) wasn't following the path they had set out for her in life, she was going to be all alone come the Holidays, so Maybelle brung her along to the Gulch.
It was from Tomato Blossom :):):) that I learned about degrees and that people can actually get paid for reading and writing a bunch of "whereas's" and "parties of the first parts", and on and on. I also learned that not everyone can add numbers and make them come out like they are supposed to. Sheesh. Or at least have them come out like the feller paying the bill wants them to come out.
Alrighty then, it was a real eye opener for me, discovering that people can get paid for just putting words and numbers down on paper, rather that actually having to do anything. I decided right then and there that I was going to get me one of those degrees Tomato Blossom :):):) was talking about and live a life of ease.
Before Tomato Blossom :):):) went back to the big city, she also got around to teaching me a few other things that I wasn't quite up to speed on, though lord only knows why not. Alrighty then, Tomato Blossom :):):) was a leading me through my lessons, urging me on, when I guess I got a might too into what was going on and started a bellarin' and a carryin' on. Course it didn't help that at the same time, Tomato Blossom :):):) was a puffing and a gruntin' like a steam engine going up Henderson Mountain.
Let's just say that by the time things calmed back down, Maybelle was banned from bringing any more of her big city friends back with her, :(:(:( and something other than a degree was on my mind every time I got close to a girl for a long time after that. Sheesh. :)