You might get something out of this site if:
You think an awesome experience is something everyone else always has
You think adventure is looking at the ladies dainties in the Sears Catalog :)
You've got more cousins than Carters' got little pills
You find people are always telling you that you're definitely the most interesting person they've ever met
You don't like high stress jobs. Like when your husband tells you that you've got to the mow the lawn TWICE this year.
Just wait until you discover what living life on the road is really like.
--The Great Kiva
There are lots of buttons and links here, some might go somewhere, most probably don't. Even I, smart as I am :) ain't got'em all figured out yet. But like some feller said, "It ain't the destination, it's how many times you got to repair the brakes during the journey, otherwise you might not be able to stop when you get to where you didn't know you were going."
Don't worry about what this website costs. You get the RV Dreamers bug you'll learn right quick you'll need to keep every penny you got. :) But if your a real smart feller and come up with a way of gettin' people to send you money so you can live it up, keep it to yourself. Cause if someone else does it, it might chip away at your good fortune.
Oh, one last thing, if you just got to support something, Support Our Troops, they're keeping our country safe so we can live this life.
This website is dedicated to my grandpap who always said, "Boy, you got a knack for doing the dumbest things." And how could I forget my city feller cousin (the one whose name I never learned) and his cute wife :):), who gave Nilda and me the RV Dreamers bug when they told us about the Great Kiva on the day they got lost.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Now ya’ll can say what you want, but OL’ 5th Wheel was just about drivin’ me crazy. I’d searched and searched for somethin’ that would stop them nitemares, but couldn’t find anything, then this feller I met at Aunties Brakes and Bakes, combination pie and brake shop, told me about this here book that he’d read that could help a body overcome these terrible nitemares that come almost every night.
So when I read the cover of that book and it had them words on it, I was a thinkin’ I should probably be a shoutin’ Hallelujah, I is about to be shunt of them RV dreams at last. Still, I weren’t sure that Ol’ 5th Wheel was exactly qualified to be one of them RV’s considering its pedigree and all. I knowed it were a mobile, mobile home, but and RV? I had some serious regulations bout that.
Still me being a sucker like most people inflicted with them RV dreams, and a wanting to be cured of them, I talked to Nilda about my perdickerment. She come up with as good a solution as could be, given the circumstances. Just so I wouldn’t blame myself all by myownself if that book didn’t cure my affliction of them RV dreams, we would both chip in a few dollars to pay for it, and that way if it didn’t work, it weren’t all mine own fault as part of it would be Nilda’s fer helping me.
Once that book come I plunged into it like I was going skinny dippin’ with Candilu Hugginbottom, and I was soon up to my ears in daydreams, lucid dreams, prophetic dreams, epic dreams, naked dreams, flying dreams, chase dreams and falling dreams, and it were some of them last four that really perked me up and got me a might excitered.
What I learned helped me get ahold of things and really straighten out one in peculiar. Seems that a dream about fallin’ is more about insecurities, instabilities, and anxieties than what you is a dreaming about. Indicatin’ them RV dreams I’ve been a reoccuring has got to be about Ol’ 5th Wheel and not about me. It said some more bout the fact a person havin’ this kind of dreams was probably feeling overwhelmed and out of control in some situation of their life.
On that, I would bet the family still it had got to be that blasted piece o junk we was a using to take us down the highway of life that were a overwhelmin’ me, besides breakin’ down on us all the time too. Then that author drifted way off base, a talking about my relationships goin’ downhill or problems at work. That feller writin’ that book was doin’ alrighty up that point but what with me not a working, and my relationship with Nilda bein’ more than spectacular since I took up that literature writin’, I weren’t so sure that writer fellow was really who he said he was.
But no sooner does he do that than he redeems hisself, saying a bunch of words that didn’t make a whole bunch of cents, but I liked 'em anyways. It was about losing your grip on things and finding that you had trouble keeping up with the hustle and bustle of the daily goin’s on’s. That one really hit home cause the way Nilda had been a movin’ her bustle since I took up literature writin’ there weren’t no way I could keep up with her.
Then he talked about being forced into this situation and not bein’ able to control the downward spiral, whatever that was, but that knowin’ what the cause of them dreams was, you could work on getting’ them stopped. Knowin’ all this, I took a deep breathe, and decided to just let Ol’ 5th Wheel do what it wanted to do, and I would do what I wanted to. Nilda liked what I was a talkin’ about and said I should give it a few weeks and if I still had them nightly RV dreams, she’d see if she couldn’t do a few things to perk me up. Now just how lucky can a feller get.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Papa, which was the only name the three of us, myself and my two older brothers, ever called the man who was our dear father, was tall, handsome in a roguish sort of way, and always had a smile on his face. To the day he died, he was the light of ours, as well of mother’s life. Raised in New England, he had gone to college, having always dreamed of being a school teacher, though his parents wanted him to join the family business following in the footsteps of the two preceding generations. I know he wanted to please his parents, yet he also wanted to live his own life, and it was only after he met the girl that would eventually become his wife, and our dear mother, that he decided that you don’t get many opportunities to live your dream and he was going to take a chance on living his.
I’ve heard over the years from my aunts and uncles, that Papa’s parents were somewhat less than enthusiastic about the girl he brought home during the Christmas Holidays of his Junior year. It wasn't because mother was not pretty, for she certainly was, as the old photographs show so well. And it certainly wasn't that her education was lacking, as she was actually a straight A student. In fact they first met when Papa was having trouble in his French Literature class, and she was assigned as his tutor.
The problem was that she came from the South, and not just anywhere in the South, but was the hills of southern Kentucky, which to my grandparents' way of thinking was a heathen, uncivilized land, if ever there was. As I mentioned before, this all comes second hand, as neither mother nor Papa would ever talk about what caused the rift with his parents. It seems, the next time Papa went home there was a terrible argument between he and his father, the wounds of which never healed, and for which mother always blamed herself.
The result of all this was that when Papa and mother were married the following summer, they never told Papa's parents. And the rift that began at at fateful Christmas continued to widen to the point where neither of Papa’s parents attended his graduation exercise, a year and a half later. However, the new graduates did not lack for well wishers as Papa’s brothers as well as his sister were there, even though all three of them were already working in the family business. But, as Papa’s brother, Uncle Stanley tells it, the entire college fell in love with the Class Valedictorian's family, most of whom had traveled from southern Kentucky just to be a part of something that had never before happened to anyone in their family.
I know I’m probably boring you to death with all this talk about my parents and how they met, but it is because of all this that I am who I am today. Because when those cars headed back to Kentucky, there was another that had joined them, the one carrying Papa and mother, along with all their worldly possessions. You see, Papa had fallen in love with the “hills and the hollers” as he would laughingly refer to them for the rest of his life, the place where mothers' people had lived for generations, when he and mother traveled there to be married the previous summer.
There was never a question of where they were going to live, or what they were going to do, and one of lessons Papa taught the three of us was, there are places where who you are is determined by what your address is, by the car you drive,who you work for, how you dress, or how much money you have. Then there are places like where our family lived, a place where no one judged anyone for any reason, and even if you were not kin, and where you were treated as kin because everyone not only spoke the golden rule church, they lived it each and everyday.
So when Papa got a job teaching second grade at the local school, mother drove down everyday to the University, where she was eventually awarded her Doctor of Philosophy in French Literature, a subject she always said, became her favorite during her junior year in college for a very, very special reason. Once she received her degree she never went back to that University, except for alumni events, nor did she do anything with her degree in the normal sense. She said that Papa loved her so much he let her follow her dream until it came true, and it was then that she realized that the greatest life she could ever live would be if she and Papa followed their own dream together.
I.M. were a thinkin' y'all would reelly appreciate hearin' from my other half. It left out the part bout Nilda's Pa needin' to talk to Nilda's Ma, April first which were the funny part, but some of ya probably notationed that yerownself.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
The result is the RV-Dreamers TIP IN program. It only takes a little from each of you a reedin' this here blog and a samplin' the other reports I has here, like the glossery and the FAQ's, to help I.M. out. I'll bet you come here everyday, just a lookin' froward to the words of wisdom I have lent to the mobile, mobile, home world this day. So it shouldn't pain ya at all to throw a tip or too in the kitty litter on occasion.
A onest a month confusion is all I is a askin' from each of ya. Which in a years time will add up to a really nice bonous fer me and would let me take up golf and other such purzoots that I can't at the present. I reelizes this is probably knockin' ya rite a'tween the I's and all, but Gandpap always told me sheep were the happiest right after they had been sheerded. :)
TIP IN, the RV_Dreamers way is a brand new program I is ineptituding today to keep this website the way you want it to be. Full of the fragrantest ideas and up to the second mobile, moble home news, along with I.M. who some referance as the foremost of all the most forward thinkers, and others as the biggest pain in the butt. It don't matter how you think of me, as I will keep a bringin' ya the unvarsity truth, even if ya don't become part of the TIP IN program.
I know many of ya already got yer hand out, with yer contribution to the TIP IN program ready to be put where I tell ya too. From them that don't, let me explanationary just how it works. TIP IN, Tips Insure Particularly Interesting New-posts. Ain't that simple. You help old I.M. out with suggestioning areas of the mobile, mobile home lifestye or techniqual areas where my voluptious knowledge could be applicationed, and I.M. gets to have the time to learn how to play golf, paddle boats or maybe even get a real job while on the road and git enough money to replace Ol' 5th Wheel, or at least temprarily permantently fix her but good.
Along that line I am a placin' a TIP IN jar off to the side of this blog. That's where I got to be real ingenewious, and has got it linked to my email so you can send in the tips whenever they was to pop into yer crematorium cavity. I knows this has the potential to drive some folks away, me havin' my can out like this and all, butt rest assureded, whats hangin' out has been exposed to the bitterest of winter weather from a hangin' out in our Gulch top outhouse, so it can take it.
I knows this may not work, but if it does by some unfortunate circumstancial work out, it will be a lot more fulfilling and a lot more fun, at least fer me, cause I'll be a doin' the playin' while you'll be a doin' all the work. It's a risky proposition, but I.M. has never been one to shy away from a little risk. :)
Plus just think, if ya do send in something that is deaned worthily of beein' used on the blog or in the website, y'all may not exactly be a blood cousin of old I.M. but you is the the next best thing, a gal or feller that's gots a brain as sharpened as I.M.. Ain't two many of them in this here world let me tell ya, and as a reel boneus, it lets ya be known by the company ya keep.
So spred the word, TIP IN, Tips Insure Particularly Interesting New-posts. (You keep a workin' so I don't got too.) :)
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Nilda, bless her heart, weren't so sure I should be a doin' this thing, not knowin' the pressure I were under, and in the heat of the moment she went so far as to say that what I were doing were two rip somebody off. Now Nilda just never talks that away, and it more than puzzlated me that she would not support me in my writin' indevers, her usually bein' my biggest booster seat and all. Knowing the only way to overcome this deliquent problem was to confront her, that's what I did.
"Nilda, darlin'" I says, "I.M. sometimes a puttin' my foot in the wrong hole, and if this were one of the times, and I left what were right, where the right write otta not be left, tell me so I can write right." It are a mazin' how the application of that little bit of logic I learned from my Grandpap, a sittin' on his knee, has paid off over the years. "Nilda just looks up me, her big rose tinted, chestnut colored eyes a fixed on me, and said, "Why I.M., I do believe you badly misunderstood not only the percise phraseology I used, but you have inadvertently exacerbated and internalized your reaction to what I said."
There is times in a man's life when he can look foolish, and times when he can look downwrite stupid. This was one of them times when most anything I was to say would make me look like a sheer genius in them other moments, compared to what I was about to look like with my mouth open at this moment. So I just nodded my head, and kept a looking at her, a hopin' she would see that whatever it was that I was a thinkin', it were the right thing to be a thinkin'. Luckily it were so. :)
It surely did surprize me when the next thing she does is to ask me how I plan to inform my readers of my plight and the proposed soulotions. I knows there has gots to be some laywer blood a runnin' in the city feller veins of my family, cause what I did next were right out of one of they're bookends.
My plan were really quiet simpleton, and were based on something I remembered a doin' with Sissy Sanderson and her two twin girl cousins that summer they were a visitin' from the big city where they lived. Did they ever teach me a thing or two that summer, which were how I come up with the Kernal Green did it in the conversationary with the lead knife, plan of attack fer gettin' my reeders on my side.
I remembers how we played that Clueless game everyday, and how impressed them too city sisters was about my playin' inabilities. They even went so far as sayin' that I just might have been the most clueless, Clueless player in the whole wide world, which I took as being as good as it could get, coming from them two fourth grade girls, me and Sissy only bein' third graders at the time. Seems like I were a man of the world before I even knowed what the world were.
Remember how I were a tellin' you yesterday how I had the wooden arm out and the noose ready, and today I would spring the trapdoor? Well just like any good lawyer worth his salt can keep ya on the edge of yer seat with his odoratory, I.M. just done the same, but tomorrow you reelly, realy is a gonna learn about the RV-Dreamers TIP In program. It's like another of Grandpaps sayin's, It's always best to shear the sheep when the wool's a hanging down over they're eyes. Sheesh.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Alrighty then, lettuce git write to the point. Seems like this here blog has been a takin' up more of my time than I thought it would, which in turn is puttin' me an Nilda in a bit of a bind. Seems like the out go is a grately excendrining the come in, which is a putting the screws to not the places like they otter be. Them screws need to be applicationed to Ol' 5th Wheel and the like, but this lack of come in is a forcin' me to come up with other ways to substantualate this here lifestye of ours.
To solve that problem I has thought long and hard, leastaways that's what all them other fellers write, and if'n I were to say it come to me in a flash, it wouldn't have the same impact, so it were threw a hole bunch of long and tortellinias thinkin' that I come up with this plan.
Now my cousins all knows what I.M. a referin' two, but them several or so, not relationed to me or Nilda readers I have picked up along the way might not know the depths of depravitations we has sunk to. I is a tryin' to break it to ya as gentle as possible soas not to upset the horseapple wagon as that old sayin' goes, so bare with we on this one.
I know some of my realationarys, Pa included, would have just proposed a takin' a club to y'all and be over and done with it, lettin the chips fall where they may. That howsoever ain't the way I.M. goin' about it, if I.M. a sayin' so. I.M. got feelin's folks, and not just feelin's fer I.M., I got feelin's fer all y'all as well. And not just the kind of feelin' that Tomato Blossom taught me about neither, though I sure ain't about to ever forget them feelin's fer sure.
Alrighty then, I have herd it said that us folks from Kentucky ain't got no feelin' fer others, just feelin's fer ourownselves. Butt while their might be some that don't feel the pain of others, specially if they is like that, it ain't I.M.'s way, but more likewisely them city feller types ways. So knowin' all that, and a tryin' reel hard not to get distractioned by thinkin' of Tomato Blossoms feelin's, I want to lay it out to you as straight as any of them lawyer fellers appealin to a jury would. Meanin' it'll have the most convoluted argument, and appeal to evey heartstring you never knowed ya didn't have, but in the end, even if ya don't agree with me, I'll still be a makin' a bunch of money from my case.
Just think how much enjoyment y'all get out of readin' these hear scribblin's of mine mind every day. It takes a lot of work to put all this together, time I could a be spending doing things like golfin' kiyackin, studyin' dead trees, gettin' folks to rent boats fer me and fix Nilda and me most of our meals. Just a wrightin' this here blog, let alone doin' that ain't as easy as yer a thinkin' which is why I come up with this here RV-Dreamers TIP IN program.
Today I.M. were just erectoring the wooden thing that holds the noose, tomorrow I'll be a spring the old trap door on ya. :) :)
Sunday, March 27, 2011
For all you newlies, if there’s any a readin’ this, I’m a tryin’ to make this as simple and easy to foller as possible. Even to takin’ pains to make sure that all these words is in alfibetical order to make it so you don’t get lost or confusioned any more than you are, what with bein’ a newlie at the mobile, mobile home life and all. So knowin’ that you can’t feed a babe with a servin’ spoon, here's another little bite of knowledge to help make you just as smart as we’uns that’s been doin’ it fer a long time.
Now you may think you been a bit confusioned up to this point, howsoever you really been almost right smart as that Einstine feller till now compared what you as a bout to become once you get into this alfabit soup of weights and a what you can carry and what you can't carry, including how much your tongue can hold. Ma always said we weren't to be a yappin' with our mouths a full, so I got a mighty good handle on that tongue weight part though I don't see what its got to do with mobile, mobile home livin'. Just so's you will be right knowledgeable on them weight things all those pamphalets talk on and on about, and most importantwise, so you'll know what your supposed to ingnore or pay no nevermind to when that salesman tells you not to worry, you can pull it, just sign right here, below's a list of 'em.
GVWR, GAWR, GCWR, SCWR, GVW, GTW, GAW, GCW, TWR, TLR AND VLR
Now your on you're own as to what they mean cause I's a still working on the A's let alone be a gettin' this far down the alfibit
Now I knowed this is another of them 3 and 4 letter animalgrams like I just got done unconfusing you on, but this one ain't about weights. Unless I suposse you are talking about weights to get checked in once yor at one of these here KOA's. Course I ain't had no experience stayin' at these Krappy Overnite Accomodations places as lots of our feller traveleres likes to refer to them, but there's lots that say stayin' their is very rewardin'. I might just have to check one out, especially since all of my experience with rewards were what the Judge said when I got my degree. Which was that if'n the sheriff hadn't a catched me right off, somebody would have collected a reward when they finally found me. Guess I should stay at one and bring you up to date on what rewards they is a payin' and fer what. If they's big enough rewards we just might want to set a spell and build our savin's back up.
As I best understand it, this is the term for a mobile, mobile home on a bus-type chassis by them folks that paid more dollars for that money pit than they should'a. Then they makes sure theirs some fancy nameplate on it that implies they's a heap better than we'uns is. Now since I don't exactly run in them circles, especially since Ol' 5th Wheel usually hardly ever runs at all, leastaways when I want it to, I don't rightly know if that statement about them puttin' on airs is true or not. I do know that if they knows where to get parts for this pile of junk we call home, I'd a be right in there amongst 'em just a tellin' 'em all how nice their Motor Coach was and that they must be right smart folks.