Nilda’s Nook: Exploring New Worlds

It is difficult to believe it has already been a week since I.M. first proposed that I write a weekly column. Likewise, neither can I fully express in words the joy I felt when I.M. reminded me last night that I needed to have a post written for tonight’s blog entry. In a way it was like the first time I was ever at a rock and roll concert and suddenly realized the star whom I had idolized for so long was standing on stage, staring directly at me, and only me. Only this time I did not start jumping up and down, while screaming at the top of my voice.

I am sure that you noticed the title of todays post, which I am not sure that I will be keeping, but that was suggested by I.M. Since I have been helping I.M. with the titles to his posts, he thought only fair that he help me with mine. I will admit to having reservations at first, but when I realized that he really did want me to succeed at this I relented. It was also in the back of my mind that if I.M. could not help me with the title he would find somewhere else to contribute to my posts and one can only imagine what the result of that might be.

I have to admit that Nilda’s Nook not only has a nice ring to it, it very nicely conveys the idea of what I will be contributing to RV-Dreamers:):):). The focus will remain on I.M. and his writings, but should one want to take a break from the information I.M. provides, to seek out a moment of repose and reflection, hopefully that is what Nilda’s Nook will provide.

Before I go for today, here is a sampling of some of the suggestions I.M. had for the title that were not used.

Naively Nilda
Nilda’s Nail Polish
Namely Nilda
Nilda’s Nation
Nutty Nilda
Nilda’s Number 1
Notoriously Nilda
Nosy Nilda
Normally Nilda
Nilda’s Nonsense
Nilda Next Door
Nilda’s News
Nice Nilda
Nilda’s Nitpickings

As you can see, while I.M.’s heart is in the right place, the way he expresses it occasionally leaves something to be desired. Take care until we visit again next week when I will share some of my thoughts and solicit your ideas for future Nilda’s Nook posts.

The FMMHA Explained, Part II

So now we has got the FMMHA, and we knows how to decipher the code, but we ain’t got the key to the code, or do we? If I.M. were a guessin’ feller, which he are not, he would guess the two M’s stand fer Meal Mooch, which they doesn’t. Now some of yer a thinkin’ y’all got a hint from that F and M in the beginnin’ thinkin it stands fer Famous Motorcoach, or Family Motorhome, which it don’t. Then ya really puts yer thinkin’ hat on, thinkin' that A has gots to stand fer Association. Bingo! You got it and are almost there, with there meanin’ out of words without havin come up with what FMMHA means.

That are when y’all start thinkin’ like I.M., and see MMH, and it hits you, Mobile, Mobile, Home, which leaves out the F. To put you out of yer misery, it are that most famous of all mobile, mobile home lifestye organizations, the Foolmany Mobile Mobile Home Association. It are where you pay somethin’ in every year and they convinces you that yer getting’ more than you put in, out of it. They puts on these big gits togethers, and yer a payin’ fer them, but a havin’ so much fun agoin’ yer a missin’ just how much it are a costin’ ya.

It are amazin’ that folks can raise the holy everything over the cost of fuel, but think nothin’ of drivin’ 500 or 1000 miles to one of these get togethers, and spend all kinds of money a stayin' there because they are knowin’ others that go. Then they turns around and buys their grandkids less fer Christmas cause they can’t afford more. Y’all gots to make yer own priorities, but make sure it ain’t someonebody else a makin’ a bunch of money off’n y’all that makin’ them priorities fer ya. Thus has I.M. spokened.

Ifnheels, The RV Series 004, Part II

When I.M. last left off. we had just mentioned a possible cure an Ifnheel, which were a 2x4. We will now see why this are a possible recommended solution to this problem

What happens is that all them years you was a slavin’ away bein’ the nurse, the chauffeur, the cook and the bottle washer, he were busy spendin’ quality time with the boys as he referenced it, collecting tools and other  things that fell under the name of boys toys. It were like when you’d go on them weekenders campin’ and he would spend all hisownselfs time a ridin’ that ATV when he weren’t sittin’ by the fire you built, a hollerin’ fer y’all to fetch him another beer.

So here y’all sit, a frothin’ at the mouth, a wantin’ to sell everything and take off in some tiny box to live out the rest of yer life havin’ him drive you from one RV park to the next where the sun are always a shinin’ and the ladies are a gatherin’ fer their everyday, all day get together. That man are just scaret to death about this. Give up all his tools and toys. Give up his beer drinkin’ buddies, even give up his house, it ain’t gonna happen. He are the king of the castle, and he are gonna keep it that way.

Meanwhile you are a feelin’ lower and lower, yer RV dreams a turnin’ to nightmares. You find yerownself a sayin’ over and over, If’n he’ll just see what I see, he would want to sell everything and live the full time life. If’n he’ll just see what might be instead of what has been, we could be livin’ the full time life. That are when that idea of taken a 2x4 to him starts lookin’ better by the second. I.M. not sayin’ what y’all should be a doin’, but from where I.M. come from there were always one sure way to get a mule’s attention.

Some folks never have to face an ifnheel, others never get beyond it, but if you know it might happen you can preparation for it. That are why you reed what I.M. writing about the full time life, cause I.M. don’t put no rose colored glasses on it like some folks do.

Beauty Palor Talk

I.M. hesitatin’ to repeat them words Nilda cut loose with, but here they is: "I.M., while your phraseology left a little to be desired, it still deserves an honest response. So I will attempt to answer it in such a way that you will be able to understand and identify with." Now Nilda ain’t never cut loose on me like that afore, and I.M. were a dreadin’ that she was goin’ to resort to crude menfolk talk in her actual answer to me.

That were when she said: "It was a fruit enzyme peel beauty treatment that I had today, Trying to explain it in such a way that you can grasp the meaning of it, it is a deep exfoliation technique, however unlike microdermabrasion, laser peels and many other popular deep exfoliation techniques, enzyme peels do not require the involvement of a medical professional, only a licensed esthetician. The procedure consists primarily of the application of natural enzymes that gently slough away old cells and reveal the healthy skin underneath. Considered a holistic skin care technique, it reduces the appearance of age spots, superficial scars and fine lines, and if we were to stay here for a lengthy period of time while you try to fix Old 5th, additional treatments could even lessen the appearance of deeper wrinkles."

At that point I.M. were a standin’ there with his mouth a flappin’ wide open, though at least I.M. has gots all his teeth unlike most of his cousins, and I.M. were most definitely not a knowin’ what to say to Nilda. Had she just cussed I.M. out? Had she told I.M. she were a gonna skin him alive? It were beyond me. Then she just looks at me, and says, I.M., you are the sweetest man alive, thank you for noticing, and with that she gives me a kiss. I.M. hoping that the next time cousin Lem runs into a world expert it are the feller that understands women cause I.M. sure could use some help.

Asking the Wrong Question About the Beauty Parlor

The last time Nilda come back from her weekly beauty parlor trip, I.M. admittin’ to notating that something were a slight bit different with her. Nilda has always took great pride in her hair, and it were just as pertty as it always was, a framin’ her face and all. Sometime I.M. has gots to tell you how Nilda’s hair figured in I.M. noticing Nilda fer the first time, but that are getting’ off this here subject. That are also a remindering me to see if’n I.M. can find a picture of me and Nilda to show all you reeders just what we are lookin’ like.

One of my reeders has asked I.M. to do an interview, something he has been puttin’ off to the point of not bein’ able to put it off no longer, so he may provide a picture along with that transcription of the interview. The problem with a doin’ something like that are that, what I.M. are, is who I am. And it are really hard to deluge my secerts onto the world. But maybe it are finally time fer it all to come out, and that are what are really interestin’ about my followers. I gits lost and they’s no where to be seen. But fer bein’ so incapable of followering a road, they is awefully good at writin’ and picture takin’. Some folks gots lots of followers, I.M. has got fewer followers, but them are quality followers, the ones with grey matter where gray matter outta be, hopin’ animal heads gots grey matter of course, else I.M. gots to leave one out.

Ain’t it funny how one minute I.M. can be talkin’ bout Nilda and the next bout some animal head. Hope there ain’t no connection there. So back to where I.M. were, which were lookin’ at Nilda and not a seein’ the exact Nilda I.M. were rememberin’ seein’ when she left for the beauty palor, but not knowin’ what the difference were. That were when out popped the questionable question which I.M. immediately regretted, You look different Nilda, what did you do to yerownself? It weren’t long after askin’ that, before I.M. learned that Nilda’s vocaulary has some words that I.M. sure never knowed that Nilda knowed. And he sure knowed he hadn’t never heard them from her, even if’n she were repeating what someonebody else probably said.

RV FAQ’s from RV Dreamers:):):)

There are no end to the kinds of questionable questions that RV mobile, mobile home folks has got. There are times that I.M. does wish that it were only his cousins that were a readin’ this here blog, then the only questions would be about them cement block shiftin’ under their immobile, mobile home. Sheesh

My husband is converting a bus into an RV. He wants to put the fresh water tank under the bed. Is this a good idea?

I.M. are amazed at the number of times this question comes up during a campfire discussion, so it must be a real hot topic in the mobile, mobile home world. Because of that, I.M. has plunged into this with both feet a tryin’ to undercover the definitive answer so as to lay it to rest fer once and all. Unfortunately, just as I.M. were afraid of, there is no one answer to this question fer some oblivious reasons. One option are to use a water bed which provides the solution as long as you don’t use the water. The other are to use a solid tank which can make fer some mighty uncomfortable sleepin’ if yer a body that don’t like that. Thus, I.M. has conclusioned the best solution are to just use a mattress under the bed to sleep on and put the water tank somewhere else

When should I winterize my RV?

I.M. knowin’ this question just had to come from one of them folks that has not yet been able to attend one of them RV rallys where they pay big bucks to have questionables like this answered. Either that, or it are from one of them many cousins I.M. has got that has gotted interested in this mobile, mobile lifestye after readin’ me and Nilda’s blog. I.M. gonna break the news to y’all kind of gentle like, but it are best to do it before winter. Mostly cause it sure ain’t called summerize. Though to summerize the intelligence level of some of folks postin’ these questions would result in that equaling nothin.

I.M. are, as always, glad to be answerin’ the questions the mobile, mobile home masses is intensely interested in, and I.M. hopin’ to git one sometime..