At last I finally had to go back up to the Gulch. Ma was expecting for the 19th time, and what with Pa's wart on his little toe a bothering him again, he couldn't do no more than lay abed himself. What surprised me was how all choked up everybody around the courthouse got when I told them how Ma and Pa was suffering, each in their own way. Sheesh. :)
Alrighty then, before I was allowed to leave, the Judge, who was that man who gave me the chance to get my degree those many months ago, he ups and has a big get together, of which it turned out I was the guest of honor. I sure wished Pa could of been there for that, I'll bet it would have made up for that day when he screamed at me and Tomato Blossom that I had brought great dishonor and pain to the name of Vayne.
I was a smiling so hard at what the Judge was saying, plus with Tammy Jo, all 400 pounds of her, between me and the Judge and her wheezing and all, it was hard to hear exactly what the Judge said. But folks said even though the Judge was all blubbery, it was something about the fact that it was hereby certified and noted that all the public thereabouts should know that I.M. Vayne, and not only that, but that they should know that the Judge considered the same I.M. Vayne to be the best darned accountant in all of the County.
When the Judge finished, Tammy Jo throwed her arms around me, then just as the Judge handed me a piece of paper with his proclamation all printed out on it, Tammy Jo began bawling like a calf that had lost its mama. First thing I know all them tears from Tammy Jo is causing the the ink to run on the most important paper I had ever gotten in my life, and to this day the only words anyone can make out are: --- awarded this day --- certified -- Public -- accountant -- I.M. Vayne --- signed --- official of --- Kentucky.