Shrimpin’ and a Dippin': The Catch is Made

I know I been interpreted a time or two while relatin’ this true life mobile, mobile home tale, so let me get right back to it. Turned out that mister city feller wanted me to go out with him and his wife that evening, not during the day. Seems like she was big into sunset cruisin’ and he was into wantin’ some shrimp, which, as I now understand, you dip net at night. I was glad he knew that much, cause if he’d of asked me, he’d a figured out right quick that Dumb and Dumber obviously had a close relative when it came to knowin’ the boat and bait business, namely me.

That meant that during the day I was a jawin’ with anyone and everyone at that RV park who had even a speck of knowledge about this sunset cruisin’ and midnight shrimpin’ thing. One thing I confirmed right off was that city people got this need to take pictures of the sunset, the more the better. And it’s the more that counts. Just get ‘em out where they can see the sun a goin’ down over the water, and they’s as happy as a dung beetle in a manure pile, and let me tell you, that’s as happy as a body can git.

We’d made arrangements for me to be at their site around six o'clock so we could be out on the water, in perfect position to take all the pictures they wanted at the time the sun was settin’.. All of which turned out to be one of the darndest things I’ve ever been part of, leastwise recently.

So there we was a bobbin like cork in the ocean, which for all practical porpoises I guess we was. The sun was a getting’ lower in the sky, but not quite at the same rate these two is getting higher on all that grape juice they was a drinkin’. I’d liked to never heard the likes of that, and I couldn’t figure out why they would put that gawdaufull red color in there to ruin some thing perfectly good, since it also made the taste  a might off, plus it didn’t have no more kick than a mule sufferin from riger mortus.

That weren’t the half of it though, bout the time the sun was getting’ to the perfect spot, that right cute wife starts a screeching out the most gwadaufull sounds my poor ears have heard since Aunt Emma got certain of her front danglin’ body parts caught in the wringer while she was a doin’ the laundry while wearing that flimsy sundress on the hottest day of the year. There’s just some things a person is not never going to forget even if they see’d them when they was only knee-high to a barn cat.

It took me a while to figure out just what was going on, what with her a screechin’ away, and him a playing the very self same song on the radio thing he had brung along. Then she starts a gyrating like Uncle Archibald at the annual Bascom Valley Fourth of July celebration after he’s had too many nips of Ned Drunkmiller’s finest, fresh from the still. And with Ned being Archibald’s brother, he sure knew what the finest was.

So I’m a wonderin’ what to do. specially with that Cracker song being both screeched out by the right cute woman, as well as being played in the background.  And in addition they was to the point of being likely to topple into the bay at any moment. By the time they was done enjoyin’ themselves the sun had previously set, and they was a saying it was the best sunset cruise they had ever been on, and I don’t think they even knowed they hadn’t tooked a single photograph of the settin’ sun..

Later we went out to the channel to catch them some shrimp, only there weren’t no shrimp to be see’d nowhere. That city feller keep a claiming he was a seeing big orange eyes a staring back at him from the depths. But the only thing a staring back at him was the lights reflecting off them big old sun glasses he was still a wearin’ but didn’t know it. The shrimpin’ ended when he pitched hisself right over the side of the boat a dippin’ for one of them imaginary shrimp.

Not to be outdone, I’d got a few frozen shrimp off a feller at the RV park who told me these city fellers were oblivious to the truths of the sea, and I should just throw a couple of the frozen shrimp in his net if wasn’t catchin’ nothin’ and he wouldn’t know the difference. Seemed fair enough to me and both him and me ended up happy. I did think he was a might cheap though, cause when we got back to the dock and I asked him about a tip for all the good times I’d provided for him, he mutters something that half sounded to me like he was a lookin' fer somebody to chip in, only he drove off in his boat without a doin' it. Guess that feller in that song was right, if you can’t please everybody, you got to please yourself, meaning I.M. is who I am.