I.M. was Stumped

When the time come to eat, the four of us, Joe Ed, Matilda, me and Nilda trooped up there to that city fellers sight like the missionerys come to relieve the staving of Africa, we was a carrying so much food. We was a wondering if’n we was a feedin’ the whole campground we was so burdened down, but once we got there it were just that city feller and his wife. They had their picnic table all set up nice and pretty with a cloth on the top and a candle in the middle, next to which was big dish of tater chips. By the time we put all our food on the table there weren’t hardly room to sit and eat, though we did manage to squeeze in.

All the time we was a eatin’ that city feller was a tellin’ storys of all the places they’ed been to and how nice people always were a givin’ ‘em things, what with him being such a famous writer and all. Funny thing was he kept a tellin’ us what a great writer he were but we was never a seein’ anything he writ. With my writin’ Nilda is always a showin’ eveyone she runs across what I last wrote, even them ladies at the beauty parlor, though they is demandin’ more of that literature than I can rightly turn out.

We was a talkin’ about a pullin’ that stump and this here city feller was makin’ out to the ladies like he dun all the hard work, a showin’ up when Joe Ed and Me couldn’t break that stump loose and single handedly finishin’ pullin’ it out by hisownself. Seemed like that was stretchin’ the point just more than a mite, but Ma always taught us as young’uns to respect our hosts, so I kept my yap shut, though I wanted to say something the worst way. Joe Ed was over there a dozin’ on and off so he weren’t a goin' to chime in and tell it like it really were, so it just stayed the way the city feller told it.

When it come time to leave, the city feller said that his wife was so tuckered out that she wasn’t goin’ to able to do much work around the house fer the next day our so, so if’n we wanted to just leave our left overs, so as to chip in and help them out as he put it, they’d be mighty appreciative. Matilda and Nilda looked at each other, gathered up all their leftovers and lit a shuck fer where we was parked.

Joe Ed and me, being raised to be polite, thanked that city feller and his wife for what little they did to help with supper, though I will say his wife surely did look a bit embarrassd by it all, even if he didn’t. Then as Joe Ed and me was a walkin’ away I’d a sworn I heard him say somethin’ about how we should’a chipped in more, course my ears could’a been deceivin’ me, but I’ve got to say that everything that took place that hole day surely had me stumped.