Bloggin

Remembers back a couple weeks ago when I.M. asked anyonebody who wanted, to submit a guest blog they themownselves would write but would be like I.M. had been the one to write it? Well here are one that I.M. receptioned, and it are good.

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I.M. has been sayin that I.M. overworked which ain't the same thing as bein worked over by Nilda after I ecksplained about how we dont need no dishwasher cuz I.M. has already marryd one.  I.M. meanin to say that all this nawledge is working hard to get to I.M.s fingers and out onto the blogging world's eyeballs where it can get to overworking everone else.

There is a lot of questions that is asked of I.M., and I.M. gettin tired of knowing so much more than all y'all.  I.M. tryin to eekwalize the nawledge by my writin and bloggin, but the gap is so huge I get desperate of ever fillin it in to yer satisfication.  Fer example:

My lights flicker when we're on shore power, and I'm not sure if it's the inverter, or the LED lights, or whether we need to go back to CFLs.

I.M. can start rite off seein' that y'all has got too many letters in yer brain fer yer own good.  Whether yer lights are led or cffl'd, you first got to get them into yer shopping cart, and stop inverting.  Standing on yer head is not helping anythin here and is making you look foolish to the folks in the next field.  Heres I.M.'s advice:  if you are aneedin lights you are aneedin to go back to yer house.  This is a mobile, mobile home lifestyle you are talking bout and not some fancy style of life.  You need to get yer pryorities straight and come back and ask I.M. a sensible qwestion.

Now you can see why I.M. tired all the time and aneedin to rest inbetween bloggin.  If Nilda were halfway as good as I.M. at this bloggin and sharing nawledge I wouldnt have to work hard the way I.M.

From yer buddy at http://thegoodluckduck.blogspot.com

Roxanne

A Mighty Tight Fit

This are that intrepid western reporter of the RV-Dreamers :):):) journal, Cousin Mick comin’ at ya from the havin’ escaped the clutches of the marine species police of an unnamed but from now on to be avoided, western state. When I last left ya off, me and Ms. Mary had been told by them invasive species officers to get into my kayack, and Ms. Mary to get her ownselfs kayack.

Now whilst Ms. Mary ain’t the smallest kid on the block, a carryin’ some considerable heft to her ownself, I am a feller that definitely has more ton than ro to my rotund, and that were when the trouble started. I am not aware of what invasives them fellers were lookin’ fer, but once I had shoe horned my ownself into the kayack, they wasn’t ever gonna see nothin’ unless there was pounds of butter a slathered around myownself to allow me to squeeze otta that kayack, and that were when the trouble started.

There we was a floatin’ in them pristine waters and me a callin;’ fer pounds of butter to extraction myownself from that kayack when one of the invasive agents says it are against the law to pollution the water with butter grease. So there I are, stuck like a plug in bottle, old fat Mick the Kentucky Kayack Kollapser, a doin' my best to live up to what I were called. I am tellin’ ya that when yer as big a round as I is, there ain’t much wiggle room in a kayack, and in fact there ain’t none a tall. All I could do was to tell them fellers that there weren’t no way there was no more room fer any invasive species in that kayack, and do you know it, they believe me, even though I were about to sink.

I never did tell them I had an inflatable life preserver kayack that would float me no matter how much I ate, but then if’n they don’t ask, I am of the opinion that one shouldn’t tell, else there ain’t no tellin’ what they will be askin’ next. I am guessin’ that the moral of this story are that ifn’ ya cross a state line, just blow a lot of hot air, and maybe they won’t know that yer really as stupid as ya look. I heard it worked fer another feller, and it also worked fer me, and what more could a feller ask fer.

Cousin Mick has a Fit

I.M. has been correspondin’ with cousin Mick on a irregularly regular basis as of late, a trying to get Mick to application his voluminous newspaper skills, no matters how little they was, to contributioning to this here blog. Finally Mick has consentuated to bein’ the rovin’ reporter and western correspondent to the foremost fulltime RV blog on the Innernet. What follers is Micks contribution to the elevation of the RV blogosphere, a place that obliviously has never afore been attained by any writer, good or bad.

This are I.M.’s cousins, Mick and Ms. Mary a reporting from out west where I.M. has designationed the two of us as the western reportin’ staff of the RV-Dreamers :):):) journal and investigative report, whatever that might be. And I am thinkin' that the title of these reports might better be called the Defraud Daily, but if'n it ain't gonna be, it ain't gonna be. I.M. has asked us to be reporterin’ on what kinds of daily happenin’s we has, so without further ado, which is makin’ Mick feel like that Ed Suillavan feller that used to be on TV, here are the rest of story, even if it are gotta be made up, only don’t ya bein’ tellin’ I.M. about that as I.M. has promised me and Ms. Mary complete freedoms in what we writes.

It were a sunny day, and me and Ms. Mary was a travelin’ down one of them western highways and byways when we comes up upon the state line. We’un’s didn’t think nothin’ of it till they pulls us over fer a boat check. Now me and Ms. Mary’s had lots of checks durin’ our travels, but this were somethin’ new. Seems they was a checkin’ fer unwanted hitch hikers, and we were selectioned fer the whole and completebody scan.

First thing I knows, I am told to get into the kayack I has in the RV. That were a problem cause I has gained a pound or twenty since I were last in it, but that didn’t matter to them inspection fellers who was lookin’ fer what they was callin’ invasive marine species, whatever the blue blazes that were. What happened next were somethin’ that should happen to no onebody, and I will be writin’ that up in my next post on the western RV-Dreamers :):):) journal and investigative report, so stay tuned.

There are Fulltimers, and Then There are Fulltimers

“Hey and howdy do! We justs gots our camper. So what is it everyone tows behind their MH? Looking for a vehicle that can be towed, with high clearance but that gets good gas mileage. Any suggestions bout whats to git?”

That ain’t exactly the the words that was in a full timer forum that I.M do frequents, but it are close enough to give y’all the idea of just how smart the folks that are a wantin’ to join up with this here fulltime RV mobile, mobile home way of livin’ really is. If’n they were a handin’ out rewards fer IQ’s under the minimum requirement to become a fulltime RV mobile, mobile home type person, I.M thinkin’ most of them folks would be grand prize winners.

How’s come can it be that folks can consider livin’ the RV mobile, mobile home full time lifestye life, and have no more clue abouts it than the someonebody that posted a questionable question like that’s there one? Fer them that sees no problem with that there post, let I.M. dissection it fer y’all, a breakin’ it down into bite sized pieces that y’all can put right beside that I.Q. reward y’all just won.

Point one, fulltime folks don’t call the RV mobile, mobile they lives in a camper. That are what them folks that comes to the camperground just fer the weekend, sits outside no matter the weather, and has a fire roarin’ most of the time calls ‘em. You use the term camper to refer to yer fulltime living quarters and y’alls labeled yerownself fer exactly what y’all is, which are someonebody that don’t knows nothin’ about the full time livin’, and shouldn’t be a plannin’ on doin’ it lest y’all gits some serious educationing like me and Nilda did.

Point two, and we don’ts need no more, anyone somebody that can’t do a little research on this here Innernet thing, likely ain’t gots the mental capacity to absorb all there is to knows about full time livin’. It don’t take but a minute or two to come up with a list of possible vehicles that are like what that feller wants, yet they’s to lazy to do it themownselves. Once they becomes fulltimers, if’n they ever do, they don’t last long and afore y’all knows it they’s tellin’ everyonebody they meets that full time livin’ ain’t no good and I.M. sure hopin’ the reeders of this here blog don’t falls into that category.

I.M. Misplaced

I.M. are genuinely sorryful to all the reeders of this here great blog fer I.M. being misplaced fer the past few days. Sometimes things takes a turn and a person don’t know just exactly where they was or is, and that were what happened to me and Nilda. Howsoever I.M. are back now and it are gonna be this blog where what weren’t but were gets explained to them that was but weren’t. Meanin' that them a tryin’ to reed what I.M. hadn’t wrote but weren’t a findin’ it because it weren’t wrote, now gots something to reed.

What it were that happened were that me and Nilda were a travelin’ and ended up in this here old town, which were mostly like any other old town me and Nilda, or y’all reeders fer that matter, has ever ended up in. I.M. do declare that all them old towns does look just like all them other old towns, so what happened were that I.M. gots mixed up as to which old town I. M. were in, or maybe it were which state that old town were in. On accounts of that mix up, me and Nilda gots into one of the few mixups that has ever occurrenced in me and Nilda’s time together, with Nilda bein’ certain me and Nilda were lost. One the otherside of the dollar bill, I.M. were certain that there weren’t no lost to it, it were just a case of the old town I.M. thought me and Nilda was in had gots misplaced.

Nilda were a saying it weren’t the old town that were the problem, it were the state the old town were in. I.M. were a thinking the town were in a state it were in, but weren’t, cause it were in another state altogethers. Lost are definitioned as “no longer known”, while misplaced are definitioned as “ to put in a wrong or inappropriate place”, which were what I.M. had done, as in putting’ that old town in the wrong state. Once we gots it all figured out, and we gots to where it here that we were supposed to be, it were okay. I.M. are sure sorry fer getting’ lost that there way and not bein' able to write, and hopes there ain’t no someonebody else out there in the RV, mobile, mobile home fulltime life that are as dumb as I.M. and don't know what state they's in. Just so’s y’all knows it, I.M. will be writin’ regular like now that the misplaced are placed. Like they says: “Dumb is as dumb does.”

Who Could That Be?

I.M. figures long time reeders probably has gots it figured out, but anyonebody who are a newlie reeder can be confusioned at times what with the spewin’ of ideas from I.M.’s mind at the rate they is. There was the Hatey Weighty and Hatey Weighty Jr. programs which was soon followed by I.M.’s modest proposal to have his reeders submit a guest blog.

Them ideas are a poppin’ out of I.M.’s brain faster than them popcorn colonels of that Oddball Poppinpooper feller, exceptin’ that I.M. don’t wear no bow ties when them ideas is a poppin’. This idea thing must be runnin’ in I.M.’s family cause cousin Mick has gots a couple of hisownselfs ideas that he are a proposin’ to contribute to the RV-Dreamers :):):) blog. With Mick a travelin’ out west, and his innernet connections leavin’ somethin’ to be desired, it may be a while, but they will be a gittin’ here.

Y’all knows that I.M. don’t never beats around the brush pile, but always gits right to the point, which are probably why all y’all reeders is so excited about this latest idea of I.M.’s, even though it are far beyond what anyonebody else a writin’ a RV mobile, mobile home blog are doin’. What I.M. are thinkin’ of doin’ are to take hisownselfs turn as a guest blogger on this here blog.

I.M. thinkin’ that y’all are thinkin’, how can I.M. be a guest on his ownselfs blog? But that are why I.M. are the king of RV mobile, mobile home and fulltimin’ bloggin’ world. I.M. are thinkin’ of writin’ his blog, but a doin’ it as if it were writed by one of I.M.’s reeders or the writer of one of them many blogs I.M. reeds. That are where the title to this here blog comes from, I.M. are thinkin’ maybe someonebody will recognize who it are that I.M. are pretendin’ to be, "Who Could That Be?".

Don’t expect that first “guess blog” to come poppin’ out in a few days, but when the first one does appears, I.M. thinkin’ y’all will knows it. Remembers, I.M. are improvin’ the RV and fulltime bloggin’ world one post at a time.

A Modest Proposal

I.M. are sure many of y’all reeders of this here blog is actually far better at this blogger thing than I.M. are. Anyonebody that thinks otherwise has only to spend some time reedin’ them comments I.M’s reeders post to know it are true. I.M. are a beginnin’ to think that some of them reeders is more like I.M. than I.M. like I.M.

Because of that abilty to see around the bend on the part of I.M., I.M. are makin’ a modest proposal. It are the RV-Dreamers :):):) guest blogger first annual invitational and extravaganza. Now I.M. figurin’ that the sheer overwhelmin’ writin’ ability of I.M. will no doubts scare off anyonebody from submitttin’ an entry, but in case anyonebody would like to, here are what I.M. thinkin’.

Y’all write a post like it were writed by I.M., and I.M. will post it on the blog. That are the simple of it, simple bein’ one of I.M.’s hallmarks. I.M can still remembers them words of praise that first schoolmarm I.M. ever had. Them words, “Children, I wish the rest of you were as simple as Ishbosheth Mephibosheth Vayne” are still a wringin’ in I.M. ears. Of course that were afore Ishbosheth Mephibosheth were a shortened down to I.M. but it still don’t matter none cause it sure made a impression on I.M.

Anyways, back to yer guest blog, I.M. thinkin’ that if’n y’all write it, y’all could email it to I.M. Y’all can get I.M.’s email by clickin’ on the Tip In box, then just copy yer writin’ and send it. I.M. will not do no editin’ even though it will probably needs it, and if’n you don’t want no credit fer that gibberish y’all submitted, I.M. will not post y’all as the author.

I.M. knows this are pushin’ the boundary’s of the RV mobile, mobile home bloggin’ world, but since there ain’t no onebody else a doin’ it, I.M. has gots the field all to hisownself. In the likely event there are no guest blogs submitted, I.M. will just continue writin’ his usual high quality blogs just like they usually is.

Mick’s Idea Explained

I.M. knowin’ that y’all was a wonderin’ when the next installment of Mick’s idea was gonna come along, and here it are. What followers is the solution to that problem Mick had as to the expense of getting’ into all them attractions, museums and interestin’ places that charged admission, but Mick didn’t want to have to pay.

Mick said the idea come from rememberin’ the days when he were in the newspaper business, but recollectin’ how that turned out fer Mick, I.M. are mitey skeptical there were ever a good idea come out of it. But if Mick says it were so, then it must have been so as Mick will tell y’all he ain’t never wrong.

Accordin’ to Mick, if a feller were to have a RV mobile, mobile home type blog, and promote it as being the source of news of the RV mobile, moble home world, I feller could use it as a way to get into all these here places with payin’ nothin’. Now when Mick was first a layin’ this idea out, I.M. tellin’ y’all I.M. were mitey skeptical abouts the veracity of all this. (Nilda are a helpin’ with I.M. with his vocabularity and are beginin’ to show, aren’t it not.)

Getting’ back to Mick, Mick swears he gots the idea when he were a standin’ in line to one of them museums, and this near spittin’ image of Mick comes in, a goin’ to the head of the line and starts spoutin’ off. Near as Mick can recalls, this fellar were a goin’ on abouts how he writes some kind of mobile, mobile home blog or newspaper, Mick weren’t not sure which, and that they better give him free admission so he could write something nice about them and all his readers would want to visit there and pay for their admission even though this feller were getting’ in fer free.

Seems them folks at the museum didn’t agree with that feller, and told him he could pay just like all the regular folks does. Mick said that feller left in a huff, a mutterin’ how he were gonna write bad things about that place, somethin’ that Mick didn’t think were right. Mick has promised to tell what he are a doin’ with this idea the next time he writes, which I.M. are a hopin’ will be right quick, as I.M. wantin’ to know as bad as y’all is.

RV FAQ’s Answered

This are a special service that I.M. provides to the reeders of this here blog so they can be the best educationed and illiterate full time RVers on the road. Sometimes these is the big question and sometimes they’s the little question, but whatsoever they is, they all gits answered here.

Where can I buy an RV?

I.M. has hesitationed to answer this one fer a long time. Mostly because it are so common on them forums as well as folks blogs, them folks explanationing how they decided to buy the piece of junk they’s got that they never should of bought in the first place. I.M. can only shakes his head in wonder at that cause the answer are so simple any wantstobe can tell y’all. Yer gonna buy an RV yer gonna have to find someonebody a sellin’ an RV. How simple can that be? I.M. don’t understands why folks make it so hard. Once that are done, then the hard part begins, which are buyin’ the right RV. But since that weren’t asked, it ain’t necessary to answer it

.My RV has a strange plug on the electric cord, where do I plug it in?

The level of intelligence of the typical RVer never fails to amaze I.M.. Most folks when they gets somethin’ new, like a mixin’ wand or a toaster, spends hours pourin’ over the manual, a checkin’ all the safety sheets and that big sheet that says “afore doin’ anything read this”, then they reads the manual line by line. When folks gits a RV, readin’ the manual are the furthest thing from their mind, and they is only thinkin’ about getting’ out to the woods and a goin’ camperin’. If’n yer the second owner, it at most likely the first owner throwed the manual away so y’all is on yer own. That are why I.M. can’t answer it by sayin’ read the owners manual. I.M. will say that generally speakin’ that cord is supposed to be plugged into a outlet that looks like it, if that are any help to you. I.M. guessin’ some questions is just over the head of the person askin’ the question. :)

Hatey Weighty Jr. Explained

Now there’s a lot behind this here Hatey Weighty Jr. program, but that ain’t what are being concentrationed on today. It are the behinds of the folks that are a reedin’ this, that are the real focus of the Hatey Weighty program. Howsoever, whether it are yer behind parts, yer ahead parts, or yer just too big all over, it are likely to be of help.

There ain’t gonna be no special foods y’all gots to buy, no countin’ to do, no books to buy, and no meetin’s to go to. This program are designed to separates you, not from yer money, but rather from that big bunch of blubber y’all wants to get rid off. Nilda were a tellin’ I.M. that them thats picked up a few extra pounds along the way don’t want to be called blubber butts, so I.M. won’t. But that don’t mean that other folks a lookin’ at them don’t think that.

The philosophy behind Hatey Weighty Jr. are simple. Throughout the full time RV mobile, mobile home world there is folks that’s wants to separate y’all from yer money so they can live the life y’all are tryin’ to live. That are the heart of the Hatey Weighty Jr. program, only from another direction. Instead of them other folks a tryin’ all manners of inducements to separate y’all from yer money, y’all gots to think along the same lines, which are how y’all could separate them extra pounds y’all is a carryin’ from yerownself.

Think about it. It are yer plan, y’all thunked it up, y’all is implementioning it, y’all gets the benefits. I.M. are thinkin’ a good motto would be: Cut the middleman, cut the fat. I.M. first come up with: Banish the baloney, banish the blubber. Howsoever as Nilda pointedly pointed out, I.M.'s first motto weren’t gonna be doin’ what I.M. wanted it to be a doin’, and now the motto are better. Obviously there is a little more to the program than I.M. got to today, which will be uncovered in the next installment.

Mick has an Idea

Recently I.M. gots an email from cousin Mick who are a roamin’ around the western parts of the country, which are the opposite side of the country from where most all I.M.’s cousins is from. Mick are always on the lookout fer a way to stretch the dollar a mite bit more than most, and in that email Mick reported he come up with a new idea that I.M. might like to share with those that reed this here blog.

Now there’s some folks that likes to travel down the roads of the country, and when they find a nice cozy place to set for a mite, they does just that. Most of their days is took up with gabbin’ with the neighbors, piggin’ out at the local deep fat fry and quick serve, or if’n yer Canadian, sittin’ out in the sun to get the proper tan so as to not look likes y’all was covered with snow all year. While Mick are especially good at hittin’ the local deep fry and quick serve, he has also gots this thing fer visitin’ all the local tourist type attractions.

Now if’n any of you reeders are into such pursuits, y’all knows that the doin’ of such things can allow y’all to discover some of the more unique places of this here earth. Places like the Two Headed Calf Museum in Covington, the Salt and Pepper Shaker Museum in Gatlinburg, the Ventriloquist Museum in Fort Mitchell, the Chimpanzee and Human Communication Institute in Ellensburg, or the SPAM^® Museum in Austin.

I.M. are thinkin’ that someonebody reedin’ this are been to one or the other of them national treasures and so knows what Mick means when he says, there’s things just so outstandin’ that folks comes from all around the world just to see them. The problem fer Mick were that the admissions to them places mounts up right quick, and were puttin’ a dent in his travel plans. Unfortunately, us’uns are all gonna have to wait till I.M. gets Micks next email to learn just how Mick solved that problem, which hopefully won’t be long in coming.

I.M. wants to thanks the reeders of this here blog fer their comments. I.M. don't comment back on comments like some folks do, but that don't mean I.M. don't reed them and get a good laugh or even an idea or two from them. Y'all have fun this upcomin' weekend, and if'n I.M. don't post on a day or two, it are cause me and Nilda are havin' fun too.

The Hatey Weighty Jr. Program

It has occurrenced to I.M. that based on all the comments I.M. we receptioning about the Hatey Weighty program that there is a real need fer another Hatey Weighty, lighten the load, program. One that are more atuned to the needs of the RV mobile, mobile home full time time population that don’t have nothin’s to do with RV’s or income.

Seems like the folks that take up this here full time RV mobile, mobile home life has soon gots a problem relationed to intake, not income. That are, they’s intakin’ more food than they was afore, and the out go are fallin’ behind. Or puttin’ it another way, to much of the intake is gittin’ packed onto the behind.

I.M. ain’t called the most illegible of folks bloggin’ about this here way of livin’ fer nothin’, so I.M. are puttin’ finger to key to offer solutions to folks afllictioned with this malady, it seeming to strike more ladies than men. Now Nilda has just interruptioned I.M. to point out that there’s probably more men that’s got this problem, it are just that so many of them look that way they all thinks that look are normal. I.M. bein’ tall and thin don’t gots that problem, but maybe I.M. are gonna have to do so observationing in the future.

When I.M. pointed out that it ain’t called the Jeremiah Craig weight loss plan, Nilda just rolled her eyes and said, Men. I.M. are not sure what Nilda were a meanin’, and with her havin’ that special look in herownselfs eye when she were a sayin’ it, I.M. weren’t about to ask. Anyonebody who reeds I.M. knows I.M. ain’t out to offends no onebody, so even if it might be needed by a couple of fellers or so, it are probably needed by more of them female type folks, and that’s what I.M. will be addressin’ the next time.

A Modest Proposal for a Weighty Problem

The solution to that income problem could be many different things, all short of out right beggin’ which are somethin’ that runs contrarywise to the way I.M. were brought up. Also there is just something about birdhousin’, beadin’ and bloggin’ as a way to make a livin’ that don’t square with bein’ raised up on the Gulch. I.M. didn’t have much in the way of educations, but I.M. used what little I.M. got to make somethin’ of hisownself. It are them folks that’s gots lots of education but don’t use it to make somethin’ of themownselves that has I.M.’ s head a shakin’. If they wasn’t smart enuff to get the right education in the first place, what makes a body think they is gonna be very smart at what they’s doin’ in the second place. Sheesh.

Takin’ all that into considerations, it would seem to I.M. that by usin’ the Hatey weighty program as a start, a feller ought to be able to find a way to generates hisownself a income stream that would have some velocities to it. I.M. thinkin’ it are called ancillary, but I.M. could be wrong. The thing to do are to take the Hatey Weighty program, which are the idea of takin’ things out to lighten the load, and combine it with the weighin’ and tire pressurin’.

But that ain’t what it are really about, the key is to gets them folks that pays you to do that to come to that other money makin’ operation y’all gots. Maybe sellin’ beads or birdhouses fer example. Or how abouts a custom sign shop or jewelry makin’. And then there’s silk flower makin’ or embroidered hats.

If a feller or gal was really enterprisin’ they could have themownself a website with lots of advertisin’ that other folks could visit. The key are the possibilities is endless once y’all starts with the Hatey weighty program. It are all abouts drawin’ folks into yer other real money makin’ businesses, not the Hatey Weighty program itself. I.M. are such a gentleman I.M. don’t want to make no money hisownself off this revolutionary concept, so all y’all use it howsoever y’all will.

Opportunities with the Hatey Weighty Program

Y’all knows from I.M.’s previous writin’s that me and Nilda worked hard, saved our money and are now a livin’ the RV mobile, mobile life livin’ on what we saved and that monthly check from Uncle Sam. That don’t mean that everyonebody was as smart as me and Nilda, and so maybe they’s runnin’ a little light in the money department and lookin’ fer a way to add some extra income.

The Hatey Weighty program bein’ free and all, anyonebody can use it howsoever they wants. I.M. are thinkin’ that if’n someonebody could combine the weighin’ of RV’s with the Hatey Weighty program, and maybe even combine it with somethin’ they was already a doin’, it would be a way of generatin’ an extra bit of income.

Combinin’ all that together it wouldn’t take someonebody long to be the expert in these weighty matters, especially if they could tie them all together. Them axles, wheels and hitches is something it looks like a feller could do a little studyin’ up on and in no time appear to be a real expert at. As Grandpap always said, it ain’t what y’all know, it’s what folks think y’all know.

To give an example of what I.M. are a thinkin’ on this, suppose I.M. wasn’t havin’ to fix Ol’ 5th Wheel all the time, and also that he hadn’t been smart enough to find enuff money when he were a workin’ to be able to let I.M. and Nilda live the life of bliss me and Nilda does now. That would mean I.M. would have to come up with an extra income stream as them sharp city feller folks say.

I.M. knows there is lots of ways of supplementing yer income, thanks to all them blogs I.M. reeds, but what makes I.M. stands out from the masses are the unique perspectives I.M. brings to the RV mobile, mobile home world. So in the next post in this exciting series, I.M. will be proposin’ a new twist to the solution to the money problem.

How the They Hatey Weighty Program Works

Weight reduction, are it possible, and if so are it enuff? Them two things is what the Hatey Weighty program are all abouts. The three parts is, taken it off, taken off enuff, and keepin’ it off. Some folks approach it as a long term project taken off a little at a time just like the weight come on. Others think that major surgery, are the best approach. But the best thing about the Hatey Weighty program are that no matter what approach are used the results are the same.

The first thing to do are to find out just what yer weight are supposed to be, the next step are getting’ rid of the excess, and then keepin’ it off. The place to get what the weight are now is probably gonna be based on where y’all is when y’all decides to get weighed. It may be a truck stop or a lumber yard fer example, or if yer at one of the rally’s, then there’s often times the safety foundation folks that has scales and can weigh all yer wheels independent like.

What ever place you have it done, and the wheel by wheel are the best, y’all needs to check yer weight tag and see just how much of a bulge around the middle, that RV of yer’s has gots. All this mind you, is previous to the actual implementation of the Hatey Weighty program, it being outside the scope of the HW program to assistance you on the weighin’.

So here we is at the point of implementationing the foremost RV weight loss program possibly yet devised. If’n ya just got yer front and rear axles weighed, you need to gits yer scale out and and take out enuff over which ever axle are overweight to get down to the proper weight. If it are wheel weights y’all gots, then take out things from over whichever wheel to lighten the load. Then get it weighed again soon to make sure yer weighin’ what ya should be. There’s also the right tire pressure as well which are outside the confines of the Hatey Weighty program. Hatey Weighty being informative in nature rather than technical.

I.M. figurin’ that y’all are wonderin’ just how I.M. could be smart enuff to figure all this out, but really it weren’t nothin’.

Understanding the Hatey Weighty Weight Lose Program

Now that I.M. has writtened about how it were the idea fer the Hatey Weighty program come to be, it are time to explanation exactly what the Hatey Weighty program are. I.M. are also mighty sorrowful that the postin’s has been on the skimpy side of lately, but the refining of the Hatey Weighty program has been more time consumptioning than usual, plus Ol’ 5th wheel has been acting up or breakin’ down again, take yer pick of how to description it.

Remember them good old days when things weren’t packed in as tight as they is now? When things was a little looser in some areas? That were when folks was a complimentin’ yer look and the smiles they was a givin’ y’all was proof. So what happened? Middle age caught up with that’s what, soon followered by old age, or as some likes to reference it, the mature years. :)

Fer some it means that tire size has greatly increased and fer others the old spring has been sprung. You can tell from the way yer now bottoming out that things is certainly not the way they used to be fer sure. And that dear reeders are what the Hatey Weighty program are all about, discoverin’ where all them extra pounds has come from and how to take them off.

Originally when the idea fer the Hatey Weighty program first come to I.M., I.M. were havin’ more than a might bit of troubles comin’ up with a name. There’s the Weight Watchers^tm and Jenny Craig^tm fer example and it were while thinkin’ on them that the first name fer this outstanding program come to mind. Tryin' to combine all that into the best of all descriptions, it seemed natural to call it the I.M. Vayne Weight Loss Program fer the Over Weight.

Now Nilda are the nicest, most considerate person in the whole world, but I.M. are afraids that when Nilda heard that, she were not very nice and most inconsiderate to I.M. as fer as her comments regarding what the program were to be called. So now y’all know more about it and how it gots to be named, next time I.M. will explanation how it are supposed to work.

Newlies, The RV Series 007, Part II

So exactly what are it that makes the way the newlie looks at the fulltime Rv mobile, mobile home way of livin’ like a candy store or a nightmare.?

The major factor in all this is if’n there are a former ifnheel or ifnsheel along, the reason being that glass half empty or less than full thing. The ifnheel or ifnsheel usually weren’t none to happy about this in the first place, so any little thing that can go wrong, does. Now y’all might get lucky and have that one in a hundred that actually takes to likin’ this way of livin’ but the odds are yer gonna be most miserable fer as long as yer a doin’ this.

Opposite this are the, “there ain’t nothin’ that can go wrong, life are a peach and you are the cream”, type of newlie or newlies. These are them fer which the glass are half full and what they been drinkin’ are the best drink they done ever tasted. Sure they had a flat tire the first day out, but look at the nice people they met at the tire shop and then again at the bank when they took out that loan to get the side of the trailer replaced what the tire ripped off when it come apart.

Course them bein’ newlies and all, they ain’t realized that it were cause that trailer were so overloaded due to all of mama’s sewin’, craft and hobby stuff, as well as the old man a haulin’ along every tool he got and then some new ones he figured he might need, and that are leavin’ out the fact they has got enough clothes packed to keep half the people in three states in clothing fer a couple of years, come global warming, or global freezing.

Still it don’t matter, cause they is a doin’ it, it bein’ livin’ the full time RV mobile, mobile home lifestye. Now I.M. understandin’ this probably don’t give you as much informations about newlies as you were a wantin’ but like I.M. were a sayin’ afore, these early posts in this series is just meant to be the broad brush stokes on the canvas of this here life me and Nilda is a livin’.

More FAQ’s

There are a never endin’ stream of questions that RV mobile, mobile home folks have. Since I.M. are the source fer answers to the question that ain’t even been thought of yet, it are easy for I.M. to answer the ones that most folks actually got.

We are looking for the best nesting cookware available. What do you recommend?

I.M. thinkin’ that some folks take the most unusual pets along with them when they take up this fulltime way of livin’, like them toad folks from a week ago. Now in this case I ain’t recommending y’all talk to the animal head lady as I can answer this one myownself. If it are a parakeet or canary then a one quart pan are plenty big enuff. If it are bigger like a parrot or Macaw you will need a large stock pot. If it are a ostrich y’all shouldn’t even think of fulltime RV’ing. PS, with them first two types, them pots work real good to also cook them there poultry should you decide they is a real pain to keep as pets.

I have a built in dishwasher at my stix and brix. What do you recommend when I go fulltiming?

Them jokers that sits around the camperfires would say to use the same one y’all had at home, only I.M. are too smart to fall fer that. If’n yer a single RV person, has a big enuff RV, and stays in Campergrounds with full hookups, why not have one one installed. It are yerownselfs life yer livin’ so why not make it easy if’n y’all can. Fer them that are travelin’ with a partner person, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with doin’ like Nilda does. She says that if’n she are to do the cookin’ and the cleanin’, then I.M. are the one doin’ the drying and the puttin’ away. I.M. rememberin’ how, when Nilda first explained that to me, she were a holdin’ a big old skillet in her hand, so there weren’t no hesitation to agreein’ with her. Sometimes it ain’t always exactly what y’all says, it is how it are said that matters, somethin’ that Nilda are right good at.

Thoughts on Increasing RV Blog Readership

Backin’ up a second here, it also matters whether y'all is writin’ to make money off’n that blog; or if’n yer a tryin’ to provide informations to yer friends and relatives; or iff'n yer just a writin’ fer the fun of writin’. Now some folks will say it becomes “work” when yer a trying to make money off yer writin’, but I.M. tellin’ ya that if’n yer good at writin’ it sure ain’t work, it are fun. It’s just that sometimes it are less fun than othes. But if y’all really do have the inability to write real good, then folks is gonna get to laughin’ at you, and not at yer blog, which aren’t not what yer a wantin’ at all. Now not everybodies got natural talent like I.M. has gots, but fer them that does, the words just come a pourin’ out onto the screen.

I.M. thinkin’ that by now ya knows whether y’all got the talent or not, cause if’n yer wife, husband or partner is a yawnin’ and a noddin’ off when they’s reedin’ yer output, perhaps yer not needin’ any more input from them cause they’s already give it to you. But if y’all don’t got I.M.'s talent, y'all can be sure that there are someone out there that are more than willin’ to take yer money so they can make some money. It are like that drawin’ advertizement in the magazine that my cousin Buster answered.

Old Buster couldn’t draw a stick figure when he were in first grade and his ability in that arena got worse the older he got. Still he had this dream of bein’ the next Rembrandt painter feller even though his high school guidance counselor done told him that he should put his talents towards bein’ the next house painter instead. Well he sent that drawin’ advertizement test in, and they told him he had art talent, lots of art talent, and a bunch of money later they was still a tellin’ him he had talent, they just weren’t a lettin’ him know where that talent should be used, so he just kept a paintin’ pictures that nobody wanted.

Buster ended up usin’ those there paintings to patch holes in his roof, them canvases being at least good fer that, what with Buster usin’ oil paints and all. I.M. can only tell it like it are, and now maybe you folks a writin’ withouts the talent I.M. has gots can understands why some blogs are good and others, like this one, are so grate.

Newlies, The RV Series 007

I.M. thinkin’ the last post in this series might have given some folks a fright, it bein’ so blunt and all, but that are all part of the weedin’ out process on the rode to becomin’ a full time, fulltime RV mobile, mobile home life livin’ type of person. We are now on that rode to the place we are takin’ a look see at the newest of the new, the greenest of the green, the newlie.

Now I.M. ain’t know dummy and he knows that most folks reference these folks as newbies, but as yer a knowin’ by now, the path them folks take ain’t the trail bein’ blazed by the true trail blazer of the RV bloggerin’ world. With that out of the way, let us take a gander at just what a newlie are ain’t not. They, though they may be one or several, are not dreamin’ about livin’ the full time RV mobile, mobile life, nor are they themownselves living in a house with someonebody who are a ifnheel or ifnsheel. On the other hand, they is past the wantsta satage but afore the Imas and the Ustas, all of which means they is none other than newlies. See how easy that were to describe them not.

So havin’ declared what they is not, just what is they? The answer to that are so so simple, that if you don’t know it, yer not interested in the full time RV mobile, mobile home lifestye. Knowin’ that, we will not be dwellin’ on what yer already a knowin’ but will be movin’ on to a much more deeper in depth discussion of the newlie and their ways. Fer some folks bein’ a newlie are like a kid that just wandered into the biggest and bestest candystore they did ever see. Fer others it makes their most frightful night mare seem all cuddly cozy like young foal in comparison. Unfortunately yer a gonna have to wait until next week to hear the rest of the story, as that feller were always a sayin'. Well he were a sayin' after the commericial, but we ain't got none of them there things here, so it are gonna be next week.

Increasing RV Blog Readership

It has now come time fer I.M. to be givin' ya’ll some more help regardin' yer RV blog as I.M. has done on occasion over these here past few months. There is many ways to provide this advice on the subject of RV blogging, but knownin’ that most all y’all reeders is as sharp as I.M., meanin' that all y’all also has the ability to uncomprehend the comprehendable, here are some detailed RV blog writin’ advices.

A common question now that yer a writin’ such a good blog are, how can I gits more folks to be a reedin’ it? Since I.M. is the undisputed master voice of the RV boggersphere, the first thing ya needs to do is to be willin’ to experimentation a bit. Fer example, supposin’ y’all meets up with yer good friends Billy Ray, Bonnie Kay, Raylene Ruth, Ricky Rufus, Henrietta Earlene and Howard Elrod, with the plan bein’ that all eight of y’all are a gonna go out fer something to fill yer bellies and wet yer whistles. The question we’s got asks of ourownselves is just how do we write about that there table clearin’ experience where y’all drunk and ate everything y’all could gits yer mouths on.

Now if’n yer interested in the masses a reedin’ yer blog yer, but what y’all do are to go on and on a listin’ them names to the point that every other word are Ricky said or Billy said, Raylene ate or Earlene ate, Bonnie drunk or Howard drunk, that sure ain’t no good writin’. That are cause them folks are about as interestin’ to the most of yer reeders as are a dead skunk a layin’ on the road. In fact, the only folks that are gonna be interested in what y’all wrote are them folks yer a writin’ about and chances are even them folks will stop readin’ as soon as you stop mentionin’ their own names, it are so boring to read. I.M. knows it are hard fer some folks to be a hearin’ this, but you don’t git to be I.M. by avoiding the oblivious like this.

Yet Even More FAQ's

Continuing the RV-Dreamers:):):) tradition, here is another set of FAQ's.

Being a solo RV’er, I find it difficult to back into a site by myself. Short of asking another camper to help, what suggestions do you have?

It are very simple, always get a pull thru site. Of course that only works if y’all don’t have no trouble drivin’ forward, which considerin’ yer problem with goin’ backards it are highly likely goin' forward are also a problem. Sorry to be bringin’ ya the bad news, but this RV thing ain’t fer everybody even if there are some folks that make their money tellin’ y’all that you can do it, no matter how stupid y'all is.

Are there any helpful hints you can give your readers about cooking on the road?

I.M. would not recommendation that you do it. It are a lot harder than you think it might be, even though it are right handy and economical, especially if’n yer in Arizona or someplace hot like that. There are reasons why they have them kitchens in mobile, mobile homes and you should use them. Basically, it are far too dangerous to cook on the road, especially if there are any truck traffic on it. And after them dumb questions I.M. has been gettin' it are nice to have a reasonable one fer a change.

I’ve always wondered how people like you and Nilda who travel from place to place get your mail?

It are amazing how hard some folks make this here full time mobile, mobile home life out to be. When we need to get our mail we just go to the post office where we had it sent to and pick it up. Course if it are email you’re a talkin’ bout, then you just get it off the computer. I can’t believe folks can’t figure these things out by their ownselfs.

A Weighty Problem in the Campground

This are a continuationing of how the Hatey Weighty program come about so I.M.’s reeders can see that it were a well thought out plan and not something that just happened to happen.

Back to that camperfire story that feller were a tellin’, it seems like the feller with the flappin’ gums and bloody thumb didn’t believe them fellers when they first told him that what he were a haulin’ were just that. Which was that what he had been a haulin’ he weren’t now haulin’. All this time he were goin’ on about how them things were a fastened in right tite, and all padded and cushioned so they were gonna move none, no way.

Guess while he were a yakkin’ away, that cute woman got out of the truck and took a look see fer herownself. She come back up to the front with one of them cat got the canary grins and says to him that he just might want to take a look see fer hisownself. He sputtered a mite, but with her just a grinnin’ away at him, not sayin’ a word, he finally gits out of the truck.

He hadn’t gone but a couple of feet, as the feller tellin’ the story was a sayin’, until that yacker feller stops dead in his tracks, and his jaw clanked open, and stayed open fer once. A layin’ back there in the dust were them two shiny things just like everyonebody, includin’ that cute woman with him, were a tryin’ to tell him.

It are here the story gits murky as the feller tellin’ I.M. the story didn’t exactly see what happened next but had it related to him somewhile later. Some told him there was words between them two folks, others sayin’ there weren’t. Some said the woman walked away to a big old 5th wheel up near the entrance to the camperground, and others said she just took off out of the camperground and kept a walkin’. Still someonebody else told that she jumped in that truck and took off a leavin’ that feller a standin’ ther by hisownself. I.M. will say that whatever it were that happened, it must of been interestin' to say the least.

Weighing in around the Campfire

The other day I.M. were a tellin’ y’all about the idea I.M. come up with to make money off’n them RVers that’s got money, the Hatey Weighty program. While I.M. are sure all y’all reeders wants the particulars of it, yer just gonna haft to weight awhile. (That are a pun fer them reeders that ain’t as sharp as I.M. are.) :)

Today we’all is gonna be examinationing what it were that give I.M. the idea fer this never afore thought of combination accident avoider and poverty preventer program. The other day a feller that were a prime grade A spinner of yarns stopped at this here camperground, and then proceeded to do some spinnin’ at the nightly campfires while he were here. This yarn took place at the last park he were at and what follows is as best as I.M. can recall what he were a sayin’.

He said it were the poundin’ he first noticed, then the feller and lady, followed by the big pickup truck. He weren’t sure what it were, but it must have been mighty important, that piece of paper that feller were a tackin’ up to the camperground bulletin board. While the poundin’ was a goin’ on, the feller was a jabberin’ away at the right cute woman standin’ next to him, which were probably the reason he hit his thumb with the hammer instead of that thumbtack that wouldn’t go into that board. Sheesh!

That brought out some other words and mutterin’s, but with the woman a takin’ over the hammer the paper were soon up, even if the thumbtacks wasn’t exactly in the corners and there were nice red smear on the paper. Then them folks got into that truck and started to turn around so they could drive off. It were then it happened, first one, followered by another shiny aluminum lookin’ things come slidin’ out of that truck and dropped onto the ground.

The feller didn’t seem to notice, him being so busy a yakkin’ and yammerin’ away at anyonebody he was drivin past. Finally someonebody got him to shut up long enuff to point out that what ever he had been a haulin’, he weren’t a haulin’ no more. That is when what I.M. will relate in the next post about how the Hatey Weighty program happened.

Wantstas, The RV Series 006, Part II

We are now a resumptioning the tale of the wantsta, them folks that have almost but not quite made it to the fulltime RV mobile, mobile home way of livin’.

Then you decided to visit one of them RV mobile, mobile home shows, only to learn that they are swarmin’ with salepersons who has got the deal of all deals on the RV you just haven’t realized you wanted. But that don’t stop ya, next yer all over the internet, a reedin’ everything you can get yer eyeballs on. A reedin’ the forums, a reedin’ blogs and and a findin’ a website or two that are a promisin’ to fulfill all yer RV dreams, some with their website, some with their newspapers, some with their magazines, some with their rallys and some that promise you a rose garden and the roses that go I it.

Of course it are up to y’all to be a sortin’ through all this dubious detritus, (my cousin Mick told me that one), a decidin’ what the what are what, and what the what are what are not. Now afore y’all git to thinkin’ that I.M. are a gonna tell you the correct and true way to full time full timing, it ain’t gonna be that way. Just as you were thinkin’ I.M. are gonna make it easy, he are gonna do just the opposition to that. That are because it are up to y’all to decide what to do. If I.M. has learneded one thing bout this full time lifestye, it are that if you let someone else do the thinkin’ fer ya, yer gonna get exactly what ya deserve. And in the end yer not gunna be happy. I.M. not sorry to say that, but I.M. sorry that it aren’t said to more wantstas while they is still dreamers.

If y’all think yer a wantsta but ain’t sure if this is fer y’all or not, you ain’t a wantsta, yer an ifnheel or ifnsheel. I you think yer a wantsta, but you know that you have to keep on workin’ with the hope of havin’ enough money someday, yer a dreamer, not a wantsta. If yer wantin’ to live this full time life, but yer spouse, partner or significant other ain’t sure and so you are a holdin’ off, yer a dreamer, not a wantsta. If y’all really are a wantsta then ain’t nothin’ gonna prevent ya from livin’ this way and yer a lucky person. So ya gots to askin’ yerownself just like old Clint were a sayin': Do you feel lucky today, well do ya? Only you has gots the answer to that question, and if’n yer only a hopin’ yer lucky, you ain’t gonna be. I.M., who are effortlessly eradicating the education of everybody.

Breaking the News

“Wer gonna live the fulltimin' life.”

As you might imagine, when I.M. first said that, I was not exactly sure what all the implications of those words were, even though I had been present the day his cousin took a wrong turn and accidently drove past the service station, which in turn led to our first encounter with the RV lifestyle. Unfortunately I didn’t get to talk at length to I.M.’s cousin’s wife, but since she appeared to be somewhat bewildered at the time, my ensuing confusion over what I.M. was proposing was probably quite reasonable.

When I.M. becomes excited, he can lapse into his native tongue, as I sometimes teasingly refer to that specific manner of speaking of his, the result of which meant that it took some time for me to realize the the full impact of the changes he was proposing for our life. Reading the comments that you wonderful readers leave on I.M.’s blog, as well as reading the blogs you write, I find it how amazingly varied are the ways by which you have reached the present point on the road to the fulltime life.

I wish I could speak to each of you, particularly to MeriKay with her somewhat difficult circumstances, and perhaps in the future I will attempt that, but for now I will describe how how I faced the prospect of a major upheaval in my life that was completely unforeseen. However I realize it will take several blog posts to relate it all, especially if I find myself emulating I.M. in the number of words I use.

I can understand how, based on I.M.’s description of our life, you might think I would have been excited about leaving where we lived, but you would be wrong. I was raised in a loving family where I never heard my mother talk of a life she might have had, I only heard her being thankful for the wonderful life she was fortunate enough to have. I too am thankful for what I have, knowing that dreams are only that, but I must say that in all my years with I.M., I never dreamed I’d be living the life I do today.

A Weighty Problem

Me and Nilda has been travelin’ around some this here time of the year and as happens when we do that, Ol’ 5th Wheel can act up on occasional causin’ we’uns to spend a mite longer in a camperground than are usual fer us. We don’t pay no nevermind to that cause it just gives us more time to get to know folks and hear them interestin’ stories bout how folks live out here on the road.

The other night roundabout the campfire a feller was tellin’ a story about something that gots I.M. to thinkin’ about a new way that folks could make money while livin’ the fulltime in their RV mobile, mobile home. Skippin’ ahead, it are diet classes fer RV’ers. Not them curvy kind of weight classes the womenfolk like, but a class to show folks how to put their RV itsownself on a diet.

Now rememberin’ what that feller that taught that bloggin’ class I.M. took said about the best ideas comin’ to nothin’ if’n it don’t have a catchy title to get folks interested, I.M. as even come up with the name fer this money makin’ opportunity he is givin’ out fer free, Hatey Weighty. Think abouts it. First it are weight problem and second most everyonebody hates it that they gots this problem, makin’ Hatey Weighty the new byword of them that wants to make money, at least off any of them RV folks that’s got money that are.

I.M. can see it now, big flyers in the campergrounds of America proclaiming, “Has yer RV gots the mid-trip bluge? Are its muffler draggin’? Then look to Hatey Weighty to gits it runnin’ down the roads of our great country like a dog hot on the trail of a critter.”

I.M. tellin’ ya, that with advertizin’ like that, a feller would most likely be beatin’ back the customers they’d be so excited about what he were a offerin’. It are gonna take I.M. a few posts to lay out the whole idea, it’s background and the camperground story that give him the thought in the first place, but then with I.M. bein’ the bestest source of information on this way of livin’, it means I.M. has gots lots of good things to fill reeders heads with.

Additional RV Dreamers FAQ’s

I.M. has been really listenin’ as he sits around the campfires at the RV parks and campergrounds that me and Nilda has been stayin’ at and it are apparent that there is a great need for still more of these faq’s I.M. has been writing. With that in mind, I.M. has selectioned a random sample of them questions for this blog post.

We have just bought our new to us camper ,what are the first things we should do when we pick it up tomorrow?

This are a question that everybody who buys that first RV has themownselves, but why it should be a problem is a puzzle, because the first thing y’all got to do is to open the door. Maybe theres some folks that are a long time camperin’ in a tent and would feel more comfortable a crawlin’ in a window at first, but it are beyond I.M. as to why.

We have heard about dry camping but aren’t sure how long we can do it. What advice can you give us?

I.M uncertain to what happens to normal folks common cents when they take up the mobile, mobile life, as it are like all the loose cents they got fall through a whole in their pocket. Y’all can dry camp until it starts to rain, at which point you is now wet campering. I.M. not sure how folks ever get to be so stupid as to even ask a question like this.

We just bought our first Class Motorhome. Should we take our toad or leave it at home on our first trip?

I.M. hopin' this were a serious question and not some type of impractical joke. Assumin' it are a serious question, I.M. would say it would depend on just how long yer goin' to be gone. If it were just fer the weekend, then leave it at home, but if'n yer gonna be gone fer longer yer better of takin' it along. I.M. could just imagine how y'all would feel if it were gone when ya got back, so better safe than sorry. Guess if'n yer dumb enuff to have a pet toad, yer not smart enuff to know what to do with it. If'n y'all don't read that animal head lady's blog y'all should, as it takes one to know one.

Wantstas, The RV Series 006

The fourth step on the road to full time mobile, mobile home livin' are the wantsta step. I.M. sure that y’all didn’t know that it were such a complicationed process to this lifestye me and Nilda live, but that are why there are so many folks that talk about doin’ it, so few that actually takes it up, and then so many that drop outta it after just a few years. I.M. also an understandin’ of y’all if’n yer faced with a ifnheel or a ifnsheel and were a lookin’ for the words of wisdom only I.M. capable of producin’ to help y’all overcome that obstacle. There will be more on that later in this series, but fer now we are a lookin’ at them that wants to ties the full time knots and not them that are full time nots. Sorry to leave you a hangin’, but remember, a half not only tightens the noose around yer ownselfs neck and slowly strangles you.

Now none of this are a gittin’ us any further down the bumpy road to the fulltime life that are paved with good intentions and potholed with the realities that most folks can’t see fer all the golden dreams bein’ tossed their way. So that are where we are gonna begin this lesson, you bein’ one of them RV dreamer types that are a thinkin’ any dream are a good dream.

Once, long time ago, y’all had that very first first RV dream that turned into nightly RV dreams and you into a RV dreamer and maybe eventually you and who ever yer with into RV dreamers. You saw that first mobile, mobile home that were actually mobile. You went to a RV sales place and survived yer first encounter with the thing of RV nightmares, the RV mobile, mobile home salesperson where you learned that while you always thought there was some difference atween fellers and ladys, in this case there ain’t.

All this were in the early days of the learnin’ experience that everyonebody a livin’ this here way goes through. So in the second part of this lesson will will be dealin’ with the what’s whats and the what’s not whats. If’n yer not understandin’ that, then yer not a wantsta, but that are why I.m. are here to explain it to ya.

Commenting on the RV-DREAMERS :):):) Blog

I.M. wants to thank all y’all whose a reedin’ this here blog, whether regular like, or on occasion. I.M. ain’t no different than most folks in that I.M. do appreciate the comments he gits, and from what I.M. reads that are what keeps most writers a writin’. Howsoever, don’t worry none if’n ya don’t make comments it are okay as I.M just enjoys writin’, even it weren’t that way back when he first begun.

As fer as comments on this blog go, if’n y’all want to comment but don’t want to be identified, just click the anonymous button on the comments which makes you totally anonymous with no way to tell who you are by nobody nowheres nohow noway. I.M. tellin’ ya all them Russian’s knows to do that fer sure.

As fer what folks say, I.M. don’t filter or delete no comments except that there is a hole bunch of Russian reeders that gets automatically put into the spam box by Blogger afore I.M anyone ever gits to see them. If’n it are a reel comment and I.M. can read it, it will be posted no matter what it are.

I.M. hasn’t got nothin’ against folks that’s got moderationing on their comments section of theierownselfs blog as a rule. It are just that I.M. don’t understands why they do it as the Blogger spam filter works at least 99% of the time. Howsoever, since everybody has gots their own way of doin’ things, it are okay.

What I.M. do object to are the folks who use that moderation to make sure that only things that is good fer them gits posted, especially thinkin’ of the fellers that make money a shearin’ the RV sheep. Grandpap always said it are a free country and folks is free to do their own thing. But somehows or other when yer tryin’ to point out that somethin’ are most obviously wrong and y’all can’t do it, it can be some upsettin’ at times. I.M. don’t believe it are a cause it comes from I.M., but rather them fellers don’t want nothin’ negative said about them other than the few times they especially allow it. That are so them that hangs on the every word them fellers write thinks them fellers is opened minded when actually they ain’t. I.M. has most likely said more than I.M. shoulda on this subjective as fer as some folks is concerned, but it bein’ I.M.’s blog, that are the way it are.

Reeders make Writers

I.M. do most appreciate all y’all who has commentated on I.M.’s writin’ struggles as of late. I.M. don’t like to write just to be writin’ and have what are wrtten be just words on the screen with no meanin’. It are the same with comments that I.M. leaves on them blogs he reads. But it has been seemin’ like words is all I.M. has been writin’ as of late.

I.M. ain’t one to just comment, poor you, and leave it at that when you got problems and blog about them. I.M. tries to write something that maybe helpful in them cases. Other times when I.M. reads somethin’ interestin’ on a blog, I.M. tries to leave a most interestin’ comment back. I.M. also has fun a jabbin’ away on occasional at them that thinks that other folks in the RV mobile, mobile home way of livin’ owe them a livin’, or should at least provide them with the money to live the way they wants to instead of what they can actually afford.

Nilda has been pushing I.M. to write more about what our daily way of livin’ are and maybe it will happen. What I.M. tries to do are to show what the fulltime way of livin’ really are like fer most folks, which ain’t the way them fellers tryin’ to make a livin’ off’n y’all write. Sure they throws out a tidbit now and then that it ain’t all roses, but it sure seems to get lost in all that other smelly stuff they is throwin’ out by the shovelful.

Nilda has also been suggestin’ I.M. write an E Book, which she says is the latest thing in the publishing world, and that book should be I.M.’s unique perspective on RV mobile, mobile livin’. Since I.M. ain’t got time to do all there are to do now, that ain’t likely to happen, but Nilda can be mighty purr sway sieve when she wants to be. The first thing I.M. wants to do are to get back to doin’ some daily commentin’ on folks blogs, meanwhile them writin’ projects and probably the resuming of the writin’ this blog every day are just gonna have to wait a while.

Still More RV Dreamers FAQ’s

There don't seem to be no end to the questions that newlies think are important, and with that in mind, here are some that will have you wonderin' if the I.M. are a tryin' to education the uneducationalble, of if it would be even worse if'n it weren't not fer I.M.'s depth of knowledge.

We have never owned an RV before, but because of all the helpful information in you blog, we have decided to join Nilda and you and become full timers. My husband thinks a front kitchen would be nice, though most RV’s have the the kitchen located in the center of the coach. I realize it would make it easy to look outside and enjoy the scenery when fixing our meals, but I also realize that entertaining and the thought of everyone having to always be walking through the kitchen area when they enter or leave the RV would be a problem since the RV we are looking at buying would be a large Class A Diesel Pusher with a bath and a half,a& walk-in closet and a 54 inch TV in the entertainment center. My husband is saying that I am worrying about nothing. What are your thoughts about this?

Lady, when you gots a question that I.M. has got to start reedin’ on Monday to finish reedin’ it on Wednesday, you don’t need no answer, you need to be a checkin’ yer husband’s hearing as I.M. can’t see no other reason he would put up with you. As far as yer question and what I.M.’s thoughts are, I.M. are gonna quote yer husband, “nothing”. P.S, just so you knows, it ain’t Nilda and me’s blog, it are, me and Nilda’s blog, I.M. being the brains ahind it all as you can tell from readin’ I.M.’s posts versus them that Nilda writes.

Why do my tires keep blowing out?

Cause the air keeps escapin’ from them. What are it with the questions I.M. has got here, don’t none of these folks gots any brains?

I have heard that slides can be a problem, should I stay away from them, and have you had any problems with them?

I .M. has never had any personal experience with them slides, though Nilda’s got a relative that lives out in California and she has written that they has had some slides. I.M. guessin’ that as long as you stay away from the mountains in the winter when it are snowin’ and California when it are rainin’ yer not gonna have no trouble with any slides. It are sure a pleasure on occasion to get a question that don’t have nothin’ to do with the mobile, mobile home lifestye as it lets I.M. showcase fer his reeders just how knowledgeable I.M. are on so many different subjects.

Just how much air should I put in my tires?

What are the shape of a donut.? How would you describe a ball? What do you say just after the "a" and afore the "toit"? What do you put in the chamber of a squirrel gun when you load it? Need I.M. ask anymore? If that tire ain’t round, it ain’t goin’ no wheres, so if it are flat on the bottom it ain’t got enough air in it. As far as how much enuff is enuff, somewheres there are a label that says how much is enough, though what with you askin’ that there question the way you did, I.M. wonderin’ if yer smart enough to be reedin’ it even if y’all were able to find it.

Nilda’s Nook: Beginnings

After thinking about it, I realized that to begin simply writing somewhere in the middle of my life with I.M. would would result in something that would be just a little too close to I.M.’s way of writing. You will have to pardon my sometimes indirect way of confronting issues and writing about things, but with I.M. reading these posts, and knowing how how proud he is of RV-Dreamers:):):), plus how much he struggles with his writing, I want to make sure that nothing I write could detract from his efforts. As Mama always said: Love can be expressed in many ways. Abiding love is knowing which one is right for the moment.

I.M. always says the first thing he ever noticed about me was my hair. While that may be open to some interpretation, Mama did spend hours brushing and fixing my hair when I was growing up, though it may have had more to do with my being the only girl child than my hair being so special. Needless to say, my upbringing was considerably different from I.M.’s even though our families lived only a dozen or so miles distant from each other. I say that so you can understand why as I relate my childhood, you see no references to the man with whom I have come to share my life with.

Long time readers of RV-Dreamers:):):) may recall that about a month ago I.M. posted something that I wrote about my parents. It would seem that in many ways there is a parallel between their life and my own, only in reverse. Since Papa was a teacher and Mama was, well, Mama, our home was filled with books and an unending opportunity to learn and experience everything life had to offer. Of course when you have two older brothers and are the only girl in the family, they can certainly make your life quite interesting at times, though not always to your benefit, which is something I may write about in the future. I appreciate the opportunity to share with you and look forward to our next time together.

Ifnsheels, The RV Series 005, Part II

The conclusion of the insheel article, and fellers I.M. tellin’ ya, it ain’t a gonna be pretty.

Then time passes and them youngun’s is in school and then they’s outta school. All this time the feller of the house been a workin’ his butt off a tryin’ to spend time with the good old boys most nights after work, goin’ huntin’ or fishin’ every weekend, fixin’ up cars, and drink beer whenever y’all got some spare time. Meanwhile all that woman has had to do is to reap the rewards of the mans hard work he were a doin’, both day and night. Then you finally reach the point that your gonna have to give somethin’ up, you workin’ so hard and y’all decides it will be yer day work, at which point you learn about the full time mobile, mobile home way of livin’.

Since it will be given y’all the freedom to work harder on the night work y’’all enjoy so much, you study up on the full time lifestye and announce to the by now in her life, much larger woman, as she are a washin’ the dishes, that yer a gonna sell everything and take up a new way of livin’. Fer a momentum or two she just stares at you, then she reacts. The impact of that, which were the skillet in her hand a landin’ alongside yer head which puts you out cold on the floor. Y’all have just met up with a ifnsheel face to skillet, yer just not a wares of it yet.

When y’all finally regain yer senses and the bells stop a ringin’, you sit there a wonderin’ just exactly what brung that on. Here you was, a offerin’ her an escape from from the drudgery and boredom of not having you around 24 hours a day and it ain’t seemin’ like she are likein’ it one bit. Now y’all are a thinkin’ if’n she’ll just realize what this means to me. If’n she’ll stop thinkin’ of herownself and think of me. If’n she’'ll realize that she won’t have to call me to supper cause I’ll be right close all the time. And when fer some reason you realize that there ain’t none of these agrumentatives a getting’ y’all closer to yer full time mobile, mobile home lifestye, it hits you just as that skillet did, you has runned head on into a ifnsheel.

I.M. has Missed a Day

I.M. has figured that some of the reeders of this blog has already figured out what I.M. was a talking about on Monday’s post, and yer probably right.

What I.M. are a tryin’ to say a gentle as possible is that this here blog ain’t gonna be published each and every day of the week in the future as it has been in the past. Fer now I.M. are thinkin’ that 5 days most weeks and maybe 4 on occasion are what I.M. are gonna be doin’. So if my couple of regular readers see a day missing it ain’t cause there is somethin’ wrong, it cause there ain’t enough time to write and still do all them other things I.M. are wantin’ do. So maybe there is more than a couple of regular reeders, but I.M. are a modest feller and braggin’ at his style like with some folks writin’ blogs. I.M.’s style are tellin’ it like it are. The not so good, the bad, and the reelly bad.

Me and Nilda had some plans fer the summer but they is getting’ interruptioned, so what yer gonna be getting’ are what it are. On the other hand I.M. are tryin’ to get his cousin’s Meal Mooch Lem and Rotund Mick to be contributin’ articles on a more regular basis so that the black void of the no blog postdays will be filled and you won’t be missin’ anything.

I.M. are going to be trying to keep up with his FAQ’s and 001 series as there is such a need in the RV mobile, mobile home community fer informations like that. I.M. has also got some new ideas fer things to write about that them want to make money off y’all fellers ain’t doin’, and in fact there ain’t no one in the full time RV mobile, mobile home community a writin’ about. Even though I.M. ain’t lettin’ the cat outta the bag on that one, I.M. are thinkin’ folks will be eager to pick the worms a wigglin’ in that fresh plowed ground, but good.

Changes are a Coming

I.M. has been given a whole bunch of thought to this here blog over the past few weeks and has come to a conclusion or two. Actually I.M. come to many conclusions but I.M. concluded that most of them wasn’t what I.M. wanted to be doin’ so they is now concluded conclusions while this is this concluding conclusion .

There ain’t enough hours in the day to do all that needs to be getting’ done. Writin’s one thing, readin’s another thing. And livin’ the fulltime mobile, mobile home life and having enjoyments at it fer me and Nilda is another altogether thing. If’n y’all is a doin’ it, yer knowin’ each of them things takes a bunch of time. Right now I.M. has got some 150 plus blogs he tries to read, from which there is 50 or more of them folks writin’ on any given day.

Couple that with the hours of research it takes to write this here blog to the standards it are wrote, and you can see too many hours goin’ by each and every day. I'f’n any of y’all has had a comment by I.M. on yer blog, and there ain’t been many of late, I.M. bein’ so spread out and all, yer a knowing that comments of that caliber ain’t the first thing that pops into I.M.’s mind. In fact them comments don’t pop at all, they has to be drug out, word by word.

It also takes time to travel from place to place and to see things whenever Ol’ 5th Wheel are operatin’ like it should and we gets to where we is a goin’. Anyonebody that thinks the fulltimin’ RV mobile, mobile home life are a bed of petunias has got a wake up call like a 2x4 to the side of the head a comin’. What I.M. is tryin’ to say are there is some changes gonna be takin’ place to this here blog, some of which y’all will most immediately be recognizin’.

FAQ’s the RV Dreamers Way

There seems to be no limit to the things that folks who are interested in the full time, fulltime RV mobile, mobile lifetye are confusioned about, and with that in mind, here are more answers to the questions only someonebody as smart as I.M. are incapable of answerin’.

Not having ever owned an RV before, I have a concern about waste disposal times. Can you give me some guidance on how long this should take.

While some of the reeders of this blog might think that this are a rather delicate subject to be disgusting in a public, I.M. thinking it are something that all we RV’ers is a facin’ on occasion. My ownselfs experience is that prune juice taken in quantity will speed the process up quite a bit, while large amounts of hard cheese will act as a sure way to clog things up. Based on this, if you got a big family a goin’ RV’ing, take along lots of prune juice and them folks will be in and out of that bathroom right fast. On the other hand, say y’all got the wifes mama along and she are the most obnoxious person ya ever did know. Then just keep a stuffin’ her a full of that hard cheese and she’ll be a sittin’ in there most of the weekend, a workin’ hard with nothing to show fer it.

My husband and I each have different things that bug us to no end. In my case it is ants. Do you have any suggestions as to how to prevent them from entering the RV?

I.M. not sure exactly why you has this phobia as they may be a little distrubin’ at times, but if’n you don’t pay them no never mind, they will usually not bother you. If you need something more drastic, I.M. would suggest that you don’t invite them along campering with you any more, and if they still show up, then just lock the door until the give up and leave. It ain’t really no problem with our family as all them ants on my side are only into the immobile home lifestye and not the mobile, mobile home life. On Nilda’s side they are the best cooks that ever put food on a table so we would never turn them away. That are two questions in a row that has dealt with relatives. Hows about we get back to talkin’ about RV problems and situations again.

Fuel prices are going out of sight this summer. Do you have any helpful hints on how we can live the RV life but not spend all our money on fuel?

A long time ago there was some song about puttin’ the bop in the bopper bop, and what ya gots to do is to take a page from that . If’n they can put the mobile in the mobile, mobile home, hows come can’t you take it out? Y’all make it a immobile home like they was up on the gulch and it ain’t gonna be goin’ no place, meaning that yer not spendin’ nothin’ on no fuel. And if yer a thinkin’ that you took up the mobile, mobile home life to be mobile, then quit yer bellyachin’ and pay what it costs. You wanted one of them monstroserties that burns gas like flushin’ it down a toilet, so suck it up and live with it.

Sometimes it ain’t as much fun bein’ out here as you thought, are it? And if your in a bind cause you were a listenin’ to one of them fellers that makes there money off tellin’ you how to make yer RV dreams come true, maybe you should be askin’ them to chip in something for yer fuel fund.

Nilda’s Nook: Ideas and Subjects

As I mentioned in my last post, today we will be dicussing with you, what I will be writing about in Nilda’s Nook. I.M. has taken pains to point out to me that because he writes about our day to day life, I should concentrate on more general subjects, particularly ones that would appeal to women. I think, dear readers, that we both know that I.M. hardly ever writes about our day to day life, so I will try to write about those experiences from my perspective from time to time as well, but for now it is enough just to be writing.

Before I get into the subjects that I think you might find interesting, let me say that any ideas you may have regarding what you would like me to cover in my writings would be most appreciated. It is understandable that you would be curious as to how people so different as I.M. and I are could come to share a life with one another. I know I.M. has mentioned the possibility that he may cover that subject, but even if he does, you would no doubt appreciate hearing about it from my point of view.

I.M. has also never written about what transpired during the time we were preparing to leave the Gulch after making the decision to live our new life. Neither has he detailed just how he converted Ol’ 5th into our home on wheels. While it may not be my place to write about what transpired during those times, I certainly think you would find them most interesting. I know that I certainly did as I lived them.

Perhaps you would like to know what was going through my mind when I.M. first proposed leaving the Gulch and our life there, behind. I will certainly confess to being one of those ifnsheels that I.M. just wrote about. Perhaps I could write about the fears and frustrations that seem to go hand in hand with life on the road, which is really learning to expect the unexpected and to accept it.

I.M. says I should just put my ideas in a jar, reach in, pull one out, and write about whatever it may be. Perhaps for my first post I shall write about living with someone whose idea of planning is doing whatever he just thought of, which is something that I will never get used to, but also wouldn’t have any other way. Or maybe I will just follow I.M.’s suggestion, so until next time, take care.

Lem: Time to Eat

As it were told, Lem and Clara Belle both had a most amazin’ time that weekend, Lem amazed that they had arrived in one piece, and Clara Bell amazed at the number of stores there was to shop in, meanin’ Lem spent his time with all the fellers at the camperground while Clara Belle were spendin’ money at all them stores.

It were while Lem were a chewin’ the fat with the fellers in the afternoon that he learned of the gosh darnedest thing, which to him sounded like it were just like what him, Clara Belle and the horde had gottened into some weeks past, but all over again. Them fellers was a sayin’ there was some kind of school goin’ on where folks that didn’t know nothin’ about the RV life, as they put it, was bein’ trained up on a bunch of information, most of which was somethin’ they’d either never use or not remember when the time come to use it.

Lem were still smilin’ about them tales when Clara Belle come back all exhausted from her shopping extravaganza. It didn’t take Lem long to total up all them receipts and realize two things. The first being that there had been so much shoppin’ on Clara Belle’s agenda that she weren’t in no condition to cook Lem’s dinner. That would have been okay except that those fountains the kids was playin’ in that had sprung up the night Lem arrived, had also flooded out the camperground gatherin’ area, so this weeks pot luck were canceled.

That were how they ended up at the local pizza place where they not only had a good time, but Lem were able to mooch them a meal, which he needed to do on account of Clara Belle spendin’ all their money at shoppin’. It had turned out that a bunch of folks from that school was there and as soon as Lem learned it, he used that knowledge he had learned at that earlier rally to start wowin’ folks. Them not knowin’ he were not a teacher, but thinkin’ he were, one of them folks offered to buy Lem and Clara Belle’s meal fer them, which just about burst Lem’s buttons.

As they was standin’ in line, Lem was hearin’ the conversin’ goin’ on ahind him, and he heard a feller askin’ another feller if’n he learned much at the school. Then that feller were a mentionin’ bout how little the teachers was paid, an afore Lem knowed it, the other feller were a offern’ to buy the teacher feller and his wife their meal. Lem thought that were pretty slick, but it were even more surprisin’ when Lem turned around and found hisownself staring at that feller that were the king of meal moochers from that earlier rally. All of which made Lem feel real good, knowin' that he had mooched his meal afore the king of the meal moochers did.

Ifnsheels, The RV Series 005

In this series of posts, I.M. bringin’ y’all the basics of the RV mobile, mobile home life. and pursuiting that goal, here is the otheside ofthe ifnheel, the ifnseel. I.M. has read that life are supposed to be much like a bell curve, and on account of him not knowing exactly what that are, but asumin’ it has somethin’ to do with the shape a woman seems to take on as she gets older, I.M. gonna use it to illustrious this concept of the ifnsheel.

As before, I.M. wants y’all to know that just like ifnheels, ifnsheels can come in lots of different variations, so don’t be all that surprised if’n y’all see someonebody yer a knowin’ in these writin’s, even if thy don’t exactly match up to the way I.M. are puttin’ it. Realize that when yer faced with an ifnsheel y’all gots a problem, but to understands what yer reelly a lookin’ at, it are better to look at the originations of a ifnsheel first.

There were a time when y’all were a lookin’ at each of the other of you, all moonie eyed and pie faced. It were a time when y’all couldn’t git enough closedness of each other and separation were painful in more ways than one. Then ya’all probably gots that piece of paper that made it official that ya both were one and you plunged right into that there life a tryin’ to make the two of ya, three or more. Fer most of y’all it weren’t long afore young’uns was a squirtin’ out like seeds from a mouthful of watermelon.

Now much as you would like to thing life were nothin' but a bed of roses, just like with roses, there were a thorn or two that sprung up. Maybe it were the mashe taters. She were brung up that them taters weren't not no good unless the skins was left on, while he were brung up to think that the devil incarnate and all the bad he had would be descendin' on yer home if there were on fleck of skin in them taters. In other words, there was some slight misunderstandin's that were happenin' twixt the two of ya which would manifest itself in the form of the ifnsheel in a few years.

Lem: Camping Experiences

The unfortunate part are that Lem never did write anything about that drive down to that camperground, though I.M. figuring that at the next family reunion there will be somethin’ told that one cousin or another will be lettin’ me and Nilda know about. What were wrote was that when they arrived at the camperground Clara Belle headed directly to the ladies room, where she stayed fer quite some time while Lem took care of the registerin’ and tryin’ to get set up.

I.M. thinkin’ even though Lem left out so many particulars of what happened, that between the mention of Clara Belle and the ladies room and Lem usin’ the word “tryin’” to describe getting’ set up, it don’t take no genius to fill in a blank or two. Lem did let slip that them two fellers helpin’ him back into the camper sight knowed even less than Lem did about it. Not oly that, but it appears the registration lady were getting’ concerned about the mob of folks that were gatherin’ around Lem, and what with him havin’ knocked over every utility post in sight, she were concerned that all them folks were next on Lem’s list of things to hit.

Then just as Clara Belle come out of the ladys room, the registration lady reassigns them to a long pull through site screechin’ at Clara Belle to tell Lem to just drive down the middle of the road, and whatever he does, don’t back up no more. Clara Belle not knowin’ what Lem had been a doin’ to the camperground, weren’t sure why that lady were so upset, but still, she told Lem just what the lady said.

It weren’t too long afore they was set up, and watchin’ all the family fun at the camperground. Clara Belle were a little disappointed that the nightly camperfire had to be cancelled on account of wet grounds, but she said it were just as much fun watchin’ all the kids playin’ in the water fountains that was sprayin’ up into the air around where Clara Belle thought the lady had told her that they would be stayin’ when she made the reservation. Still Clara Belle weren’t unhappy since them kids had such a big area to play in even if it where uneven, havin’ tire ruts runnin’ every which way in it.

Lem: First RV Trip

So it were with much happiness that Lem and Clara Belle set out on their inaugural expedition in that mobile, mobile home, a windin’ their way down towards the big city and a weekend of wedded bliss, or at least that were what Lem were thinkin’. One thing that Clara Belle did were to book them into a camperground fer the weekend so they wouldn’ be a gittin’ there and havin’ no place to stay.

She had first looked at the local Kind Of Awful camperground, but upon hearin’ so many folks havin’ had the exact experience it were a promotin’ by the way it were named, she decided to loook elsewhere. Plus she were already feelin’ lonesome fer the horde even though her and Lem weren’t leavin’ on this trip fer a couple of weeks, so she found a camperground to stay at with the word Family in its name.

Fer someonebody who had never afore even stayed so much as one night in a mobile, mobile home, Lem said the expereince of stayin’ in one that actually had the wheels on it were right up there with the time Clara Belle had Jimmy Jack, him makin’ the horde an even dozen and all. Now Lem’s pickup truck didn't have much pickup to it, but he weren’t a worried cause it were mostly all down hill from where they was to where they was a goin’. And Lem bein’ one of the smarter fellers in the family, knowed that getting’ it slowed down weren’t no problem either.

Seems like Clara Belle were concerned with runnin’ out of things durin’ this extensive two day trip and consequentially had loaded it with enough fer a month or more. It were so overloaded that when Lem hitched it up, its tongue were lookin’ more like that of a hound that had been runnin’ round in circles fer most of the day. The backend of that truck were so far down, meanin’ the front end were so far up, Lem was a worried he’d have to put on a set of helper wheels on it just to steer it. Can’t y’all just imagine them two headin’ down off the Gulch with not much in the way of brakes and even less in the steerin’ department.

Something from Lem

Y’all might recall I.M’s cousin Lem, he of Clara Belle and the horde that I.M. wrote about some weeks distant, and it are okay if’n y’all don’t cause yer gonna learn more about Lem today. The last time Lem were on these pages he were a sendin’ dispatches from the front where sneakin' into an RV rally where he were perfectin' the art of meal moochin’ while honing his skills at the foot of the world’s foremost meal moochin’ expert. Now it happens that just the other day Lem were good enuff to send I.M. an update on what he were a doin’ in hisownselfs life, and I.M. thinkin’ all y’all mite be interested in what it were.

After Lem, Clara Belle, and the horde left that rally and returned to Kentucky to pursuit their unusual way livin’, Lem gots to talkin’ to his down creek neighbor about a immobile, mobile home that were a sittin’ unused out back behind that fellers outhouse. Seems Lem had set in on a class at that rally that were called, near as Lem could remember, Pickin’ the right mobile, mobile home fer yer fulltime life. What Len tooked away from that were that fact that when y’all sees it, y’all will know it, and this were it.

It took Lem some time to get it hauled over to his place and fixed up the way Clara Belle wanted it, Lem keepin' in mind these words from that class: If mamma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. All this are quite a story and with the voluminous material Lem has sent to I.M., it will make fer some interestin’ blog posts some day. But that ain’t what this are all about so we is fast forwarning you, to what Lem learned on his first outing in what was at that time, his brand new to him, mobile, mobile home.

Clara Belle, always wantin’ to spend a weekend in the big city, had connived Lem into doin’ just that fer their first trip, even though Lem were not exactly enthusiastically receiving what Clara Belle were a tellin’ him. That howsoever changed right quick when Clara Belle let Lem know that her sister was gonna be taken care of the horde so Lem and her could have the entire weekend all to they themownselves. As Lem put it in his email, he were beginnin’ to see what so many folks was seein’ in this mobile, mobile home kind of life.

Questionable Questions for I.M.

Sometimes I.M. gets questions that don't fall into what could be called the normal course on human events or something like that. Howsoever, the fact that someonebody actually asked a question like this helps the reeders of this blog understand just what they might be meetin' in the camperground when they starts talkin' to their neighbor.

Should I buy a motorhome or a 5th wheel?

Fer the life of hisownself, I.M. can not believe that folks actually ask questions such as this. The best answer I.M. can think of is, no. Now if’n you had said, driving a big vehicle like a motorhome frightens me and it scares me silly to pull a trailer, do you think I should buy a motorhome or a 5th wheel? The answer would be easier, and would be, no. If you said, my wife likes to sleep when we are traveling, but when we arrive she is always complaining about my driving being too wild. Would it be better to buy a 5th wheel or a motorhome, the answer would be no. If you said, we have looked into both 5th wheels and motorhomes, but while I like motorhomes, my wife doesn’t. However she really likes the room in 5th wheels but we have always liked to stay in walk-in back country campgrounds. Meaning I appreciate the maneuverability of a motorhome. Do you think we should buy a motorhome or a 5th wheel, the answer would be no. I.M. writin’ all this in this here answer just to point out that there ain’t no such thing as a dumb question, but there sure are some incapably dumb folks a askin’ them questions, just as there are some intelligent folks with the patients of Job a tryin’ to answer them, like yers truly.

Living in our stix and brix we have often bought things online. Is there anything special I need to do to make online purchases once we begin living the full time mobile, mobile life?

I.M. thinkin’ this are one of them trick questions that folks that gots nothin’ better to do will post. In the first place they has used the term stix and brix which are a major clue, that being the name of that mix with them Checks Serials in it that some folks serve to their guests when they don’t want to fix no real appetizers like possum points or squirrel snicker-doddles. Then to make it even more suspicious, they used them mobile, mobile home words, somethin’ that only myownselfs cousin’ was likely to do and them cousins wouldn’t have a clue as to what stix and brix was, so it has got to be one of them there troll type posts. I.M. sure y’all probably got took on that one, but that are why you got I.M. a doin’ this as nothin’ like this gets by him.

We are new fulltimers and someone said we should be using the 2-2-2 method of travel, but we do not have a clue as to what it is, can you enlighten us?

With a brain the size that you got, if’n it were to get any lighter y’all would most likely float away. The 2-2-2 plan? Are you sure someonebody wasn’t a pullin’ yer leg, y’all be newlies and all? If’n I.M. were a guessin’ which I.M. are not, I.M. would say that it means that on the days you drive, y’all leave at 2 in the morning, drive 2 someplace, and try to arrive afore 2 the followin’ mornin’. That are assumptioning that y’all got a mobile, mobile home as easy to fix as old 5th wheel. If’n y’all don’t, it could mean 2 AM, 2 days, 2 AM. Hopefully this ain’t typical of the brains of them folks that are now becoming newlies.

Nilda’s Nook: Exploring New Worlds

It is difficult to believe it has already been a week since I.M. first proposed that I write a weekly column. Likewise, neither can I fully express in words the joy I felt when I.M. reminded me last night that I needed to have a post written for tonight’s blog entry. In a way it was like the first time I was ever at a rock and roll concert and suddenly realized the star whom I had idolized for so long was standing on stage, staring directly at me, and only me. Only this time I did not start jumping up and down, while screaming at the top of my voice.

I am sure that you noticed the title of todays post, which I am not sure that I will be keeping, but that was suggested by I.M. Since I have been helping I.M. with the titles to his posts, he thought only fair that he help me with mine. I will admit to having reservations at first, but when I realized that he really did want me to succeed at this I relented. It was also in the back of my mind that if I.M. could not help me with the title he would find somewhere else to contribute to my posts and one can only imagine what the result of that might be.

I have to admit that Nilda’s Nook not only has a nice ring to it, it very nicely conveys the idea of what I will be contributing to RV-Dreamers:):):). The focus will remain on I.M. and his writings, but should one want to take a break from the information I.M. provides, to seek out a moment of repose and reflection, hopefully that is what Nilda’s Nook will provide.

Before I go for today, here is a sampling of some of the suggestions I.M. had for the title that were not used.

Naively Nilda
Nilda’s Nail Polish
Namely Nilda
Nilda’s Nation
Nutty Nilda
Nilda’s Number 1
Notoriously Nilda
Nosy Nilda
Normally Nilda
Nilda’s Nonsense
Nilda Next Door
Nilda’s News
Nice Nilda
Nilda’s Nitpickings

As you can see, while I.M.’s heart is in the right place, the way he expresses it occasionally leaves something to be desired. Take care until we visit again next week when I will share some of my thoughts and solicit your ideas for future Nilda’s Nook posts.

The FMMHA Explained, Part II

So now we has got the FMMHA, and we knows how to decipher the code, but we ain’t got the key to the code, or do we? If I.M. were a guessin’ feller, which he are not, he would guess the two M’s stand fer Meal Mooch, which they doesn’t. Now some of yer a thinkin’ y’all got a hint from that F and M in the beginnin’ thinkin it stands fer Famous Motorcoach, or Family Motorhome, which it don’t. Then ya really puts yer thinkin’ hat on, thinkin' that A has gots to stand fer Association. Bingo! You got it and are almost there, with there meanin’ out of words without havin come up with what FMMHA means.

That are when y’all start thinkin’ like I.M., and see MMH, and it hits you, Mobile, Mobile, Home, which leaves out the F. To put you out of yer misery, it are that most famous of all mobile, mobile home lifestye organizations, the Foolmany Mobile Mobile Home Association. It are where you pay somethin’ in every year and they convinces you that yer getting’ more than you put in, out of it. They puts on these big gits togethers, and yer a payin’ fer them, but a havin’ so much fun agoin’ yer a missin’ just how much it are a costin’ ya.

It are amazin’ that folks can raise the holy everything over the cost of fuel, but think nothin’ of drivin’ 500 or 1000 miles to one of these get togethers, and spend all kinds of money a stayin' there because they are knowin’ others that go. Then they turns around and buys their grandkids less fer Christmas cause they can’t afford more. Y’all gots to make yer own priorities, but make sure it ain’t someonebody else a makin’ a bunch of money off’n y’all that makin’ them priorities fer ya. Thus has I.M. spokened.

Ifnheels, The RV Series 004, Part II

When I.M. last left off. we had just mentioned a possible cure an Ifnheel, which were a 2x4. We will now see why this are a possible recommended solution to this problem

What happens is that all them years you was a slavin’ away bein’ the nurse, the chauffeur, the cook and the bottle washer, he were busy spendin’ quality time with the boys as he referenced it, collecting tools and other  things that fell under the name of boys toys. It were like when you’d go on them weekenders campin’ and he would spend all hisownselfs time a ridin’ that ATV when he weren’t sittin’ by the fire you built, a hollerin’ fer y’all to fetch him another beer.

So here y’all sit, a frothin’ at the mouth, a wantin’ to sell everything and take off in some tiny box to live out the rest of yer life havin’ him drive you from one RV park to the next where the sun are always a shinin’ and the ladies are a gatherin’ fer their everyday, all day get together. That man are just scaret to death about this. Give up all his tools and toys. Give up his beer drinkin’ buddies, even give up his house, it ain’t gonna happen. He are the king of the castle, and he are gonna keep it that way.

Meanwhile you are a feelin’ lower and lower, yer RV dreams a turnin’ to nightmares. You find yerownself a sayin’ over and over, If’n he’ll just see what I see, he would want to sell everything and live the full time life. If’n he’ll just see what might be instead of what has been, we could be livin’ the full time life. That are when that idea of taken a 2x4 to him starts lookin’ better by the second. I.M. not sayin’ what y’all should be a doin’, but from where I.M. come from there were always one sure way to get a mule’s attention.

Some folks never have to face an ifnheel, others never get beyond it, but if you know it might happen you can preparation for it. That are why you reed what I.M. writing about the full time life, cause I.M. don’t put no rose colored glasses on it like some folks do.